New pictures are up @pixbox. Check it out here. It's from a gig last friday by some friends.
Yeah I got soul. Right by the exit. Next to the blues.
Leela James shows where the cupboard should stand. I am falling back in love with "black" music.
Somebody play on the guitar strings
Makes me think of my favorite songs
Reminds me of when I heard Aretha sing
Gladys, Tina, and Chaka Khan
Can't go back to yesterday
But can we just put the thongs away
And fall back in love with music
Nothin' but the music
Oh
Everybody knows that Marvin's gone
Still I gotta tell you what's going on
Said the music gone
Where'd the soul go?
It's all about the video
We don't sing no more
Where's the music gone?
Where'd the music go?
It's all just for the dough
It ain't soul no more
Where's the music gone?
Still hear Donny playin' them keys
Singin' one day we'll all be free
Can't even turn on my radio
Somebody hollerin' bout a bitch or a ho
Jeff
I just transcribed some lyrics off a great album, "Big Amazing Songs" by Jeff Harms. I am in love with one of his songs, and since I (to my alarm and surprise) couldn't find the lyrics online, I just had to sit down and write them down as I listened. Anyway, its a fascinating lyric. Here it is:
you said hey lets get a beer
it might be nice to go out together
what if we just stop here
it's cold and I, I need a sweater
i feel it's never clear
when to look for the change in the weather
when to smile when pull you near
does it happend today
will I, will I wait forever
you said remember on that back road
just past Windermere [?]
the heat was stuck on
we sweat through the leather
you had a map and I was trying to steer
we were laughing and having the greatest time ever
we lost control and we hit a deer
the car jumped and the axel was severed
you say you're clairvoyant
you wanna be clear
and you just
can't see us together
in that small moment so full of fear
just a few seconds lasted forever
my head was ringing there was blood in my ear
and police sirens and a man with a lever
your eyes cut through me
like those steel cutting shears
you said not to leave you
I promised I'd never
we have our differences
but they wont interfere
you're so beauitiful
and you said once I'm clever
I'm the one boy who doesn't leer
at the scar that slices across your shoulder
you used to dream of us and the life, the children we would reer
me and a house and a church and whatever
you say you've grown a lot since then
you feel wiser and freer
you said you don't wanna leave
you just stared at the river
you said hey let's get a beer
it might be nice to go out together
what if we just stop here
it's cold and I need a sweater
i feel it's never clear
when to look for the change in the weather
when to smile when to pull you near
does it happend today
will I wait forever
I keep trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour
For all of you who are fans of Alain Chabat, I recommend you warmly to go see the film "The Science of Sleep" by Michel Gondry. He does a formidable supporting role, being a complete ass, and a very funny one as well. He speaks surprisingly good english. And it was an interesting film for other reasons. Charming, funny, and beautifully different.
And for the Fighter, I quote Ani,
And for the Fighter, I quote Ani,
"So many sheep
I quit counting
Sleepless and embarrassed
'Bout the way that I feel
Trying to make mole hills out of mountains
Building base camp
At the bottom
Of a really Big Deal"
Good news for my homies (and my future)
Q-Cells to set up photovoltaic technology jv with Sweden's Solibro AB
(Forbes)
Uppsalaföretag i storaffär
(Uppsala Nya Tidning)(Forbes)
Uppsalaföretag i storaffär
Tyskar köper svenska solceller
2006-11-24: TT
Världens näst största tillverkare av solceller, tyska Q-Cells, investerar en halv miljard kronor för att starta industriell produktion av Uppsalaföretaget Solibro AB:s solceller.
(Di.se, DN.se)
Buy junk, sell antiques
- Spotted the line on a book cover "The art of looking sideways -
Tonight I am getting on a plane for Helsinki, Finland. I am to participate in a seminar on PV encapsulation (basically my field of work) tomorrow, and then fly right back home. I feel so businesslike, so adult. I think the seminar will be really interesting, and I've never been in Helsinki, so I hope I get to wander around some tonight and tomorrow before my flight.
Tonight I am getting on a plane for Helsinki, Finland. I am to participate in a seminar on PV encapsulation (basically my field of work) tomorrow, and then fly right back home. I feel so businesslike, so adult. I think the seminar will be really interesting, and I've never been in Helsinki, so I hope I get to wander around some tonight and tomorrow before my flight.
Drunk on sleep
I keep listening over and over to the same songs.
Check out davidgray.com.
I know if I should live one hundred years
I'ld never see another face like yours
On stranger seas or brighter shores
Cos I know
That my love is real
Check out davidgray.com.
Will you be my dance partner?
This weekend I went to a ball, yeah a proper one with ballroom dancing and all that jazz. Of course, I'm a lot to shy and don't feel comfortable at all on such a dance floor, so I spent my time chatting and drinking. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. First of all, the Ball was the Norrland Nation Autumn Feast, held traditionally every year, and I was invited in my capacity of Nation Photographer. Basically, there was a long dinner (4-5 hrs) including various speeches, entertainments and singing. No doucht about it, the food was great, the wine was good, and the entertainment was for the most part excellent. Since I consider myself somewhat of a shy person, these kinds of events always fill me with a little dread. Walking around a room, with a bunch of semi-strangers, people that I may recognise, and that recognise me, but whom I feel no kinship with, no confidence in, no love for. Thankfully, I could spend some of my time running around with my camera and feeling that I had a great excuse not to talk to strangers. And then of course, I eventually loosen up and stumble into conversation with people. Met some nice Fins, and we spoke about the importance of Quality, and Experience, things that I feel might be underrated more and more these days. Then I chatted with a true Norrlänning (in spite of the nation title, not all members are from the Motherland up north) instead of dancing (see above, dancing scares me), which was nice. Harcore students stay on to the second dinner, which starts at 2:00 am, with a somewhat less pretentious menu; Pytt i Panna, which is a swedish dish consisting of diced onions, potatoes, sausage, and some other veg like perhaps carrots; anyway all diced and fried together. Sometimes served with a fried egg on top. However, I am not hardcore anymore, so I walked home, escorting a lady on my way (trying to be the gentleman I want to be).
Hmm. I guess I'll post a link when the pictures have been uploaded.
Cha!
Hmm. I guess I'll post a link when the pictures have been uploaded.
Cha!
The animals were gone
The new Damien Rice album may be slightly uneven. But at the same time, it is partially demonic in its ability to pierce my heart when I listen. For some wonderful reason Damien has chosen to spend quite some time in front of the piano, and many of the songs are more piano-based than guitar based. The album is more introspective, more sad in some places than "O", and more a solo-album than "O", where the band played a great part in the sound of the recording. On "9", mr Rice plays several of the songs completely solo, and this simplicity and rawness makes it all the more worthwhile in the current musical climate. An example is Elephant, where the album version seems even more stripped down than some of the live recordings I've come across. The listener is left with only a guitar and Damiens voice to lean on. Another lovely little detail is that the first song on the album starts with Lisa singing. Even though her presence is not very pronounced on the album as a whole. And last but not least, the lyrics are fresh, Damien finds some new metaphores that have not been written in neon just yet, and writes a world of wood and woodys - of accidental songs and accidental babies.
Somehow I connect Damien to Tiger Lou. Maybe because they're both male, young, solo artists. OR maybe because they're both talanted to the point of genious, phenomenal songwriters who keep things simple and still new. I mean, their music isn't much alike.
Well. just hear it, ok?
Flash Gordon out.
Somehow I connect Damien to Tiger Lou. Maybe because they're both male, young, solo artists. OR maybe because they're both talanted to the point of genious, phenomenal songwriters who keep things simple and still new. I mean, their music isn't much alike.
Well. just hear it, ok?
Flash Gordon out.
A long day's journey into night
"Who want to see life as it really is, if it can be avoided?"
Beatifully sparse decor. Good acting. Some humor, lots of darkness.
Beatifully sparse decor. Good acting. Some humor, lots of darkness.
Mary Chrismas
Logistical information.
I will go uppa north on the 21st of december by train. I will be staying, as far as I know, for the entire time in my parents house on the Horny Island. It seems at this point most likely that I will be staying up there until the 1st Jan, when I will descend upon Uppsala yet again.
Party?
People!
I will go uppa north on the 21st of december by train. I will be staying, as far as I know, for the entire time in my parents house on the Horny Island. It seems at this point most likely that I will be staying up there until the 1st Jan, when I will descend upon Uppsala yet again.
Party?
People!
Musical parapsychology
1. How are you feeling today?
G.U.B.N.U.F. - Bugge Wesseltoft
2. Will you get far in life?
Marco Polo - Loreena McKennitt
3. How do your friends see you?
Goodnight song - Tears For Fears
4. Will you get married?
You gonna need my help - Muddy Waters
5. What is your life's theme song?
Eminem Freestyle (over WW3 Beat)
6. What is the story of your life?
Working Girl - Jeff Harms
7. What was high school like?
Little Earthquakes (live) - Tori Amos
8. How can you get ahead in life?
Interlude - Muse
9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
the Optimist - Turin Brakes
10. What is the best thing about your friends?
Could Well be in - The Streets
11. What is in store for the next weekend?
Dogs - Pink Floyd
12. What song best describes you?
Cradle and All - Ani Difranco
13. How is your life going?
Hold on - Lou reed
14. What song will play at your funeral?
Hell is round the corner - Tricky (hahaha, didn't cheat, I swear!)
15. How does the world see you?
The one you love - Rufus wainwright
16. Will you have a happy life?
Nixon - Tiger Lou
17. What do your friends really think of you?
time and time again - counting crows
18. What song describes the person you're attracted to?
gratitude - ani difranco
19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
Second intermission -Ani difranco
20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
Singles party - Greyboy
21. Do people secretly lust after me?
Horses in my dreams - PJ harvey
22. How can I make myself happy?
could well be in - the streets
23. Will I ever have children?
I got you under my skin - Diana Krall
24. What's some good advice for me?
Mr Moon - Jamiroquai
25. How will I be remembered?
No way - Pearl Jam
26. What is my signature dance song?
Wonderwall - Radiohead making fun of oasis
G.U.B.N.U.F. - Bugge Wesseltoft
2. Will you get far in life?
Marco Polo - Loreena McKennitt
3. How do your friends see you?
Goodnight song - Tears For Fears
4. Will you get married?
You gonna need my help - Muddy Waters
5. What is your life's theme song?
Eminem Freestyle (over WW3 Beat)
6. What is the story of your life?
Working Girl - Jeff Harms
7. What was high school like?
Little Earthquakes (live) - Tori Amos
8. How can you get ahead in life?
Interlude - Muse
9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
the Optimist - Turin Brakes
10. What is the best thing about your friends?
Could Well be in - The Streets
11. What is in store for the next weekend?
Dogs - Pink Floyd
12. What song best describes you?
Cradle and All - Ani Difranco
13. How is your life going?
Hold on - Lou reed
14. What song will play at your funeral?
Hell is round the corner - Tricky (hahaha, didn't cheat, I swear!)
15. How does the world see you?
The one you love - Rufus wainwright
16. Will you have a happy life?
Nixon - Tiger Lou
17. What do your friends really think of you?
time and time again - counting crows
18. What song describes the person you're attracted to?
gratitude - ani difranco
19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
Second intermission -Ani difranco
20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
Singles party - Greyboy
21. Do people secretly lust after me?
Horses in my dreams - PJ harvey
22. How can I make myself happy?
could well be in - the streets
23. Will I ever have children?
I got you under my skin - Diana Krall
24. What's some good advice for me?
Mr Moon - Jamiroquai
25. How will I be remembered?
No way - Pearl Jam
26. What is my signature dance song?
Wonderwall - Radiohead making fun of oasis
So cheap and juicy
Friends,
i had an exam today. Oh, wow, it always feels so good afterwards. Such a liberation. I am really really tired now, and I wont stay up late tonight. Please have oversight of all the spelling errors that might be caised by myu mentalstate.
--
O, and heres some more good news. I have got 7 fresh albums in my room. Yesterday I finally went and bought the new Regina Spektor. Begin to hope. And so, when I got home I had a little notice from Amazon.com on muy floor. A beautiful little order containing ;
Ani Difranco - Reprieve 2006
Ani Difranco - Live at carnegie hall official vootleg.
Kaki king - Everybody loves you
Kaki king - Legs to make us longer
Lilium - Transmissions of all the goodbyes
Lilium - Short stories
-
And what to say? Ani has done it again. That is, another wonderful and beautiful reason not to just download an album. The fiber paper digipack with a textured print is really nice. Let's see what the contents of the cd are. But I don't expect anything extravagant. She seems set in her same way for the last three albums, and this one sounds a lot like them. Am more anticipative of the live one. I think it may be great.
Then there's the all new kaki king. I really have only listened to a few songs, and also she's an all instrumental gal on these, her first two, albums. I am often looking for something new, something just slightly different, and her guitar-vituosity may well be something of a vitamin injection into my musical life.
And then the lilium records. Short stories I've listened intensely to for a while. It is, hands down, one in the 20 best albums I've ever heard. Much thanks to it's eclectic style, using different singers and lyricists for many of the songs, mixing languages, and a very very beautiful studio work and instrumentation. Their first albym, Transmissions of.. seems to be an all instrumental piece. Shame, but whos to say it isnt great anyway.
-
And Begin to hope, by Regina Spektor. Well, it's hardly as blow you away great as Soviet Kitsch, but shes got a lovely voice, and a quirky diction that works. And works well.
So far, I especially like the bluesy Lady and the longing and sad Summer.
-
Well. Thats me signing off
gnight
i had an exam today. Oh, wow, it always feels so good afterwards. Such a liberation. I am really really tired now, and I wont stay up late tonight. Please have oversight of all the spelling errors that might be caised by myu mentalstate.
--
O, and heres some more good news. I have got 7 fresh albums in my room. Yesterday I finally went and bought the new Regina Spektor. Begin to hope. And so, when I got home I had a little notice from Amazon.com on muy floor. A beautiful little order containing ;
Ani Difranco - Reprieve 2006
Ani Difranco - Live at carnegie hall official vootleg.
Kaki king - Everybody loves you
Kaki king - Legs to make us longer
Lilium - Transmissions of all the goodbyes
Lilium - Short stories
-
And what to say? Ani has done it again. That is, another wonderful and beautiful reason not to just download an album. The fiber paper digipack with a textured print is really nice. Let's see what the contents of the cd are. But I don't expect anything extravagant. She seems set in her same way for the last three albums, and this one sounds a lot like them. Am more anticipative of the live one. I think it may be great.
Then there's the all new kaki king. I really have only listened to a few songs, and also she's an all instrumental gal on these, her first two, albums. I am often looking for something new, something just slightly different, and her guitar-vituosity may well be something of a vitamin injection into my musical life.
And then the lilium records. Short stories I've listened intensely to for a while. It is, hands down, one in the 20 best albums I've ever heard. Much thanks to it's eclectic style, using different singers and lyricists for many of the songs, mixing languages, and a very very beautiful studio work and instrumentation. Their first albym, Transmissions of.. seems to be an all instrumental piece. Shame, but whos to say it isnt great anyway.
-
And Begin to hope, by Regina Spektor. Well, it's hardly as blow you away great as Soviet Kitsch, but shes got a lovely voice, and a quirky diction that works. And works well.
So far, I especially like the bluesy Lady and the longing and sad Summer.
-
Well. Thats me signing off
gnight
Heard about it through the semicrystalline poly-iso-butylene
New pictures up on flickr.
--
Still working hard so no real updates going on for the site or other sh**t.
--
I am going to Gothenburg on the 19th and staying til the 22nd, so holler if you want me!
-
Wowsa, I am so totally stressed out. I think I may crash and burn on these courses I'm taking. But then again, so far everything I've ever done has proven to be easier than expected and why should this be any different. And on the other hand, if I should fail these courses it'll be a new and probably fruitful experience.
-
Sadly, the stress is always a good catalyst for ideas. My photographic creativity is bubbling under the surface but there is no time to let it burst out.
Other plans include a website, music, and bowling.
-
A lot more than a 1000 words
Pictures from latest shenanigans:
- Evening
- Samarret
Other that photoing, I'm working my already skimpy little ass off with courses in Physics of Semiconductor Devices, Polymer Mechanics and The Art of Measurement.
So you can imagine I don't really have a lot of time left to be writing on this little page.
-
FYI, I am coming/going home to Örnsköldsvik this weekend. Gie me a shout if you wish to frollic.
Until next time
Wow me
- Evening
- Samarret
Other that photoing, I'm working my already skimpy little ass off with courses in Physics of Semiconductor Devices, Polymer Mechanics and The Art of Measurement.
So you can imagine I don't really have a lot of time left to be writing on this little page.
-
FYI, I am coming/going home to Örnsköldsvik this weekend. Gie me a shout if you wish to frollic.
Until next time
Wow me
Ils disent qu'elle est trop belle pour moi
Parfois quand on se voit
Semblant que c'est pas exprès
Avec ses yeux mouillants
Elle dit qu'elle partira
Elle dit qu'elle me suivra
Alors pour un instant
Pour un instant seulement
Alors moi je la crois Monsieur
Pour un instant
Pour un instant seulement
Qué and A
LAST PERSON:
1. Slept in your bed besides you? Harry
2. Whos bed you slept in? Harrys
3. Saw you cry? Harry (this is getting monotonous, ney?)
4. You saw a movie with? Harry (I aint kiddin man)
5. You went to the mall with? hmm, mall.. well that would be Karin in Dresden
6. You went to dinner with? My entire deparment tonight...
7. You talked on the phone with? According to my mobile: Dani
8. Broke your heart? wow, thats a good question.. CP probably, if we're talking properly broken
9. Made you laugh? Well, I must've laughed tonigt.. Ulf?
WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Tongue
2. Be serious or be funny? Nothing is serious, so funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? whole fat milk fo real
4. Die in a fire or drown? No way in hellsinki would I choose to burn, so drown i guess
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Wats rong wid parents? I like mine. I squish my enemies like chestnuts on the sidewalk.
ARE YOU..
1. Simple or complicated? simple, but no one would ever guess..
2. Gay? Nay!
3. Hardcore? We are all soft and pulpy. Ask any surgeon. Peaches are hardcore.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!
1. Do you like anyone? WtF mate? Take a big whopping guess when you read through the preceding lines.
2. Do they know it? She better know it..
DO YOU PREFER...
1. Sun or moon? sun
2. Winter or Fall? good question, seasons are there for their relative excellence... the beauty is in the variations.. fall is beautiful though
3. Left or right? well, left i guess, I'm a little gauche..
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? 2 best friends. thats the way I work. acquaintances are murals on the walls of life.
5. Sun or rain? sun, again, you twatt
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? VAnilla Ice dude
ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it? 01:29
2. Name? P to the O to the W-E-S. Well actually it's Per Oskar
3. Nickname(s): P-O, that's about it. No one ever managed to give me a nick that stuck. Well, maybe the Pimp. The Tapdancingpimp.
4. Where were you born? Ornskoldsvik.
5. What is your birthdate? Guy Fawkes night
6. What do you want? just Her and Time
7. Where do you want to live? in the ocean, on a mountain, by the beach
8. How many kids do you want? dunno. one?
9. You want to get married? don't really care.. its a formality
UNIQUE!
1. Nervous Habits: bite nails, drumming hands,
2. Can you roll your tongue? yup
3. Can you raise one eyebrow? fink so
4. Can you cross your eyes? ja
5. Do you make your bed daily? nope
6. Which shoe goes on first? rrrrrright
7. Ever thrown one at someone? a shoe? no
8. On average, how much money do you carry with you? I would say 100 SEK ~10€
9. What jewelry do you wear? one piece of eyebrow piercing
OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? I like my spaghetti like I like my women..
3. Favorite ice cream: whichever is closest to my mouth
4. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? two?
5. Do you cook? Does the Pope shit in the woods?
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)
1. Had sex: yes
2. Bought somthing you didn't need: oh yeah
3. Kissed someone: yes!
4. Sang in front of people: yes, both solo and in a comforting mass
5. Been hugged: :D
6. Felt stupid: every day
7. Missed someone: yes!!
8. Got drunk: right now
9. Got high: no
10. Danced Crazy: not sure, no I guess
11. Gotten your hair cut: no
12. Cried: just a little
13. Lied: no big ones.. maybe tried to impress some coworkers?
1. Slept in your bed besides you? Harry
2. Whos bed you slept in? Harrys
3. Saw you cry? Harry (this is getting monotonous, ney?)
4. You saw a movie with? Harry (I aint kiddin man)
5. You went to the mall with? hmm, mall.. well that would be Karin in Dresden
6. You went to dinner with? My entire deparment tonight...
7. You talked on the phone with? According to my mobile: Dani
8. Broke your heart? wow, thats a good question.. CP probably, if we're talking properly broken
9. Made you laugh? Well, I must've laughed tonigt.. Ulf?
WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Tongue
2. Be serious or be funny? Nothing is serious, so funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? whole fat milk fo real
4. Die in a fire or drown? No way in hellsinki would I choose to burn, so drown i guess
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Wats rong wid parents? I like mine. I squish my enemies like chestnuts on the sidewalk.
ARE YOU..
1. Simple or complicated? simple, but no one would ever guess..
2. Gay? Nay!
3. Hardcore? We are all soft and pulpy. Ask any surgeon. Peaches are hardcore.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!
1. Do you like anyone? WtF mate? Take a big whopping guess when you read through the preceding lines.
2. Do they know it? She better know it..
DO YOU PREFER...
1. Sun or moon? sun
2. Winter or Fall? good question, seasons are there for their relative excellence... the beauty is in the variations.. fall is beautiful though
3. Left or right? well, left i guess, I'm a little gauche..
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? 2 best friends. thats the way I work. acquaintances are murals on the walls of life.
5. Sun or rain? sun, again, you twatt
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? VAnilla Ice dude
ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it? 01:29
2. Name? P to the O to the W-E-S. Well actually it's Per Oskar
3. Nickname(s): P-O, that's about it. No one ever managed to give me a nick that stuck. Well, maybe the Pimp. The Tapdancingpimp.
4. Where were you born? Ornskoldsvik.
5. What is your birthdate? Guy Fawkes night
6. What do you want? just Her and Time
7. Where do you want to live? in the ocean, on a mountain, by the beach
8. How many kids do you want? dunno. one?
9. You want to get married? don't really care.. its a formality
UNIQUE!
1. Nervous Habits: bite nails, drumming hands,
2. Can you roll your tongue? yup
3. Can you raise one eyebrow? fink so
4. Can you cross your eyes? ja
5. Do you make your bed daily? nope
6. Which shoe goes on first? rrrrrright
7. Ever thrown one at someone? a shoe? no
8. On average, how much money do you carry with you? I would say 100 SEK ~10€
9. What jewelry do you wear? one piece of eyebrow piercing
OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? I like my spaghetti like I like my women..
3. Favorite ice cream: whichever is closest to my mouth
4. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? two?
5. Do you cook? Does the Pope shit in the woods?
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)
1. Had sex: yes
2. Bought somthing you didn't need: oh yeah
3. Kissed someone: yes!
4. Sang in front of people: yes, both solo and in a comforting mass
5. Been hugged: :D
6. Felt stupid: every day
7. Missed someone: yes!!
8. Got drunk: right now
9. Got high: no
10. Danced Crazy: not sure, no I guess
11. Gotten your hair cut: no
12. Cried: just a little
13. Lied: no big ones.. maybe tried to impress some coworkers?
I need a phone call. I need a rain coat.
Call me. Call me in the morning. Before I wake up. Before I am myself. Call me and whisper through the telephone into my dream. Whisper that you will meet me where I close my eyes. That you hands will hold me, catch me, kiss me, thrill me, as I fall ... asleep. Bash down reality for a warm slice of fantasy. You run through my veins, warm as any alcohol, sharp as cocain, soft as weed. Please carry me with you. When you go.
Absinthe make the heart grow fonder
This weeks café: Melinas
I've taken some classes in polymer mechanics this week, and for this I've been commuting back and forth to Stockholm. By happenstance and luck, I have a close friend living in Södermalm and I stayed there for one night, saving one commute and nurturing one of my dearest and closest relations.
Round the corner from her house is a small place called Melinas. A big basement café, with a few chairs and tables on the sidewalk for unseasonably warm september nights as yesterday. And what can I say. 20:- for a coffee and a bun - can you beat that? And in Stockholm no less! A friendly guy took my order and seemed happy as Larry althoigh the place was almost empty. Anyhoo, I didnt have my camere, so there is no photo, but I strongly recommend a visit if you are in the neighbourhood of Skanstull in Sthlm. Especially if your a bit short on cash and still feel like an espresso (15:-) or a coffee (10:-). I stayed outside this time, but the insides looked cosy enough. The only minus I could think of was the absense of cute waitresses.
-
It's when life gets you down you start seeing all the bad things. When pain steps in and shows you how it can be more than a signal, an indicator, that it can be a hypnotizing orb. A glowing sphere that pushes every thought, and every other feeling out of your head. In a sense it is also focussing. In that you can only hold on to one single thought at the time, in the space that is left next to the glowing light, and the humming tune, of physical pain. Your step changes. Your posture changes. Every person adressing you needs to get past the barrier of communication that is set by all the nerve signals that crowd around your concious, screaming for attention. Feel me. Rectify me.
Recently I experienced some of these things. I literally felt all my worries shrink, as a blinding, crippling pain washed over me and settled in my body. Compared to the immediate needs of the Body, the Mind and the Spirit are tiny little pot-bellied pigs, begging for their masters attention.
-
Some Real things have happened lately. Let's get though it. But first I gotta get a glass. And some rum.
-
Real thing 1.
I went to my first conference. Well, no that's not strictly true. I Actively Participated in my first conference as a Contributor. I presented my results on Damp Heat Degradation of CIGS solar cells in the 21st EUPVSEC in dresden on the 5th of september. It was a cool and eye-opening experience. I felt I got some good response and maybe some contacts from that little trip. At least I got a deck of business cards to play with.
Real thing 2.
This is - I mean I'm not sure to lable it Real, since it is a feeling, something highly subjective and internal. Like temperature. But here goes - I'm so in love. I've never felt like this for such a long time. I've had passionate butterflights across a pastel sky before, but they've only lasted enough time for me to take the strongest bat of wings as I hit some pavement of any european country. But now, I am positively flying. (And there, just this second, wings fluttered against my skin, because on this flight I not alone). I feel stronger than I have ever felt in a relationship, and still completely at the mercy of someone else. Baby, words will not ever be enough. As you said, all the pop song clichés hit me like a sermon. Or like Ani said
Real thing No 3
Have I told you already? Well repetition is the best path to learning. This school year I will be acting photographer for the Studen Nation of Norrland in Uppsala. That means documening the nation, it's activities and people. Going freee of charge to a bunch of nice dinners, taking picture, talking to a bunch of strangers and making friends. I am happy and anticipative.
Real thing no 4 - trivial as hell
I discovered a new alcohol. simple as it may seem, I just chanced - on some unspecified memory of an expressed preference by someone - on buying a bottle of brown rum. Aged like a whisky or cognac or anything. and I tell you, it goes down smooth. I know I'm in a dangerous area for alcohol abuse, but as I kind of like it here I will linger a little longer. Until I, or someone else, reacts on the state of things. So far, I am keeping in better shape than some people around me, and thats good enough for me.
Real Memory
"C is for cookie - that's good enough for me"
the one goes out to the Collective - Barcelona
I've taken some classes in polymer mechanics this week, and for this I've been commuting back and forth to Stockholm. By happenstance and luck, I have a close friend living in Södermalm and I stayed there for one night, saving one commute and nurturing one of my dearest and closest relations.
Round the corner from her house is a small place called Melinas. A big basement café, with a few chairs and tables on the sidewalk for unseasonably warm september nights as yesterday. And what can I say. 20:- for a coffee and a bun - can you beat that? And in Stockholm no less! A friendly guy took my order and seemed happy as Larry althoigh the place was almost empty. Anyhoo, I didnt have my camere, so there is no photo, but I strongly recommend a visit if you are in the neighbourhood of Skanstull in Sthlm. Especially if your a bit short on cash and still feel like an espresso (15:-) or a coffee (10:-). I stayed outside this time, but the insides looked cosy enough. The only minus I could think of was the absense of cute waitresses.
-
It's when life gets you down you start seeing all the bad things. When pain steps in and shows you how it can be more than a signal, an indicator, that it can be a hypnotizing orb. A glowing sphere that pushes every thought, and every other feeling out of your head. In a sense it is also focussing. In that you can only hold on to one single thought at the time, in the space that is left next to the glowing light, and the humming tune, of physical pain. Your step changes. Your posture changes. Every person adressing you needs to get past the barrier of communication that is set by all the nerve signals that crowd around your concious, screaming for attention. Feel me. Rectify me.
Recently I experienced some of these things. I literally felt all my worries shrink, as a blinding, crippling pain washed over me and settled in my body. Compared to the immediate needs of the Body, the Mind and the Spirit are tiny little pot-bellied pigs, begging for their masters attention.
-
Some Real things have happened lately. Let's get though it. But first I gotta get a glass. And some rum.
-
Real thing 1.
I went to my first conference. Well, no that's not strictly true. I Actively Participated in my first conference as a Contributor. I presented my results on Damp Heat Degradation of CIGS solar cells in the 21st EUPVSEC in dresden on the 5th of september. It was a cool and eye-opening experience. I felt I got some good response and maybe some contacts from that little trip. At least I got a deck of business cards to play with.
Real thing 2.
This is - I mean I'm not sure to lable it Real, since it is a feeling, something highly subjective and internal. Like temperature. But here goes - I'm so in love. I've never felt like this for such a long time. I've had passionate butterflights across a pastel sky before, but they've only lasted enough time for me to take the strongest bat of wings as I hit some pavement of any european country. But now, I am positively flying. (And there, just this second, wings fluttered against my skin, because on this flight I not alone). I feel stronger than I have ever felt in a relationship, and still completely at the mercy of someone else. Baby, words will not ever be enough. As you said, all the pop song clichés hit me like a sermon. Or like Ani said
"sleep walking through the all-nite drug store
baptized in fluorescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that things look different now
different in so many ways
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everbody else
if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could hurt me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i'm a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
and don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy
and it's my first time for this kind of thing
i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
but you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else"
Real thing No 3
Have I told you already? Well repetition is the best path to learning. This school year I will be acting photographer for the Studen Nation of Norrland in Uppsala. That means documening the nation, it's activities and people. Going freee of charge to a bunch of nice dinners, taking picture, talking to a bunch of strangers and making friends. I am happy and anticipative.
Real thing no 4 - trivial as hell
I discovered a new alcohol. simple as it may seem, I just chanced - on some unspecified memory of an expressed preference by someone - on buying a bottle of brown rum. Aged like a whisky or cognac or anything. and I tell you, it goes down smooth. I know I'm in a dangerous area for alcohol abuse, but as I kind of like it here I will linger a little longer. Until I, or someone else, reacts on the state of things. So far, I am keeping in better shape than some people around me, and thats good enough for me.
Real Memory
"C is for cookie - that's good enough for me"
the one goes out to the Collective - Barcelona
Introspective exhibitionism
FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. baker
2. postman
3. fish-gutter
4. researcher
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. the big lebowski
2. a fish called wanda
3. dumb and dumber
4. fear and loathing in las vegas
FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1. barcelona
2. nancy
3. uppsala
4. luleå
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. family guy
2. south park
3. top model
4. scrubs
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. tangiers
2. glasgow
3. galway
4. rome
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. wikipedia.org
2. dn.se
3. www.itsmorelikejustadance.blogspot.com
4. and i'm tryin to start visiting myspace.com
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. pizza
2. beans on toast à la me
3. pasta with pesto and cottage cheese
4. cheese
FOUR SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED
1. Luleå University of Technology
2. Universitat Politecnica de Catalunya
3. Ecole Europeenne d'Ingenieurs en Genie des Materiaux
4. Uppsala University
FOUR THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:
1. iBook
2. tripod
3. cds
4. my lovely bed
FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. haglöfs pants
2. plaid shirt a la brokeback mountain
3. (four things eh?) sandals
4. glasses
FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. in my bed.
2. in Röjnoret in bed
3. in Nordingrå in bed
4. in Barcelona off my tits
1. baker
2. postman
3. fish-gutter
4. researcher
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. the big lebowski
2. a fish called wanda
3. dumb and dumber
4. fear and loathing in las vegas
FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1. barcelona
2. nancy
3. uppsala
4. luleå
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. family guy
2. south park
3. top model
4. scrubs
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. tangiers
2. glasgow
3. galway
4. rome
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. wikipedia.org
2. dn.se
3. www.itsmorelikejustadance.blogspot.com
4. and i'm tryin to start visiting myspace.com
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. pizza
2. beans on toast à la me
3. pasta with pesto and cottage cheese
4. cheese
FOUR SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED
1. Luleå University of Technology
2. Universitat Politecnica de Catalunya
3. Ecole Europeenne d'Ingenieurs en Genie des Materiaux
4. Uppsala University
FOUR THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:
1. iBook
2. tripod
3. cds
4. my lovely bed
FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. haglöfs pants
2. plaid shirt a la brokeback mountain
3. (four things eh?) sandals
4. glasses
FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. in my bed.
2. in Röjnoret in bed
3. in Nordingrå in bed
4. in Barcelona off my tits
Internet Explorer Blows (doesn't it?)
If you're not seeing this OK, try using a decent browser or wait a couple of days while I clean up the code.
-=The Coffee House Episodes=-
it's 2:oo am on a sunday morning.
-
i am messing about with the layout again.
we'll see where it ends
up
-
one of the episodes in my life that I keep coming back to
is when I was in France, and I was starting to feel better about most everything in life
two things were there to say hello to me
in this emergency
were a close friend
and cafés.
I'd do what I thought was artsy, and go along to different places
and sit around and read or write, usually both,
and a warm feeling began to envelope me.
My friend did very much the same, and occasionally we'd meet up in the same place
or talk about which places were nicest.
The waitresses naturally became an important factor to consider when chosing the place, and there is one particular place that stands out, café Les Artistes, where one of the waitresses actually became rather friendly with both of us.
Anyway, my point is, I really took a liking to places where nice girls gave me good coffee. And now I will make an effort to find the best place(s) in Uppsala to provide this.
-
i am messing about with the layout again.
we'll see where it ends
up
-
one of the episodes in my life that I keep coming back to
is when I was in France, and I was starting to feel better about most everything in life
two things were there to say hello to me
in this emergency
were a close friend
and cafés.
I'd do what I thought was artsy, and go along to different places
and sit around and read or write, usually both,
and a warm feeling began to envelope me.
My friend did very much the same, and occasionally we'd meet up in the same place
or talk about which places were nicest.
The waitresses naturally became an important factor to consider when chosing the place, and there is one particular place that stands out, café Les Artistes, where one of the waitresses actually became rather friendly with both of us.
Anyway, my point is, I really took a liking to places where nice girls gave me good coffee. And now I will make an effort to find the best place(s) in Uppsala to provide this.
Agree with the idiots about everything, and smile.
Tonight we watched an Oliverstone movie, talk radio. And I went through a bottle of Chianti. Very good wine. But of course, now I am a bit drunk.
Also today, I cooked a nice chili, my old chick-pea chili, but I added red beans. Need to keep those proteins coming, or so every non-vegetarian keeps reminding me. Of course, they would know, having studied all that nutrition. The chili turned out great, spicy with spanish yellow peppers to rock and roll.
-
I have been thinking more about the anonymity/honesty situation, and here's where I'm at right now: What if I just start to break as many barriers as Í can and as soon as anyone feels exposed, betrayed or otherwhise, just let me know and I'll erase all the records. burn all the bridges and retract all the lies I have spread.
Does that sound allright?
-
Also today, I cooked a nice chili, my old chick-pea chili, but I added red beans. Need to keep those proteins coming, or so every non-vegetarian keeps reminding me. Of course, they would know, having studied all that nutrition. The chili turned out great, spicy with spanish yellow peppers to rock and roll.
-
I have been thinking more about the anonymity/honesty situation, and here's where I'm at right now: What if I just start to break as many barriers as Í can and as soon as anyone feels exposed, betrayed or otherwhise, just let me know and I'll erase all the records. burn all the bridges and retract all the lies I have spread.
Does that sound allright?
-
A night
As I walked through the door yesterday, my flatmates were still drunk. I say still, cause I met them in the morning as I got up to go to work, and they were drinking wine out of the bottle, smiling and moving unsteadily. Not soon after my return I was presented with a drink. It was a mix of coffee, ice, icecream, absinth and soy milk. I didn't finish it. Instead I cooked a pasta of tomatoes, spring onions, garlic and almonds.
Throughout the evening I sat around and listened to people talk. I am not very talkative myself, but I enjoy listening. So many people have so many stories. Later on, before going to bed,
I took some pictures. You didn't hear it from me, but there may have been nudity. There may have been boys kissing. Oh, don't worry, it's not as weird as it sounds.
Throughout the evening I sat around and listened to people talk. I am not very talkative myself, but I enjoy listening. So many people have so many stories. Later on, before going to bed,
I took some pictures. You didn't hear it from me, but there may have been nudity. There may have been boys kissing. Oh, don't worry, it's not as weird as it sounds.
Birth month
"No shadow
No stars
No moon
No cars
November
It only believes
In a pile of dead leaves
And a moon
That's the color of bone
No prayers for November
To linger longer
Stick your spoon in the wall
We'll slaughter them all
November has tied me
To an old dead tree
Get word to April
To rescue me
November's cold chain
Made of wet boots and rain
And shiny black ravens
On chimney smoke lanes
November seems odd
You're my firing squad
November
With my hair slicked back
With carrion shellac
With the blood from a pheasant
And the bone from a hare
Tied to the branches
Of a roebuck stag
Left to wave in the timber
Like a buck shot flag
Go away you rainsnout
Go away, blow your brains out"
Another Tom Waits Song
New light
A few nights ago, as I was waiting for a friend at a bus stop, I felt as though I could be anyone. All the people walking around me, didn't know me, wouldn't know me, and I was a complete stranger to all of them. The light and warmth from late afternoon sun enhanced the feeling of being expatriated, somewhere else, lost. A warm city smells different. I like being anonymous, ignored or met with curiosity. New. Fresh. It's a big city feeling and I rarely get it in Uppsala.
Now since I did, I felt even more - paradoxically - at home.
-
Speaking of anonymity, the thought occurred to me to start blogging anonymously. Loosen the shackles and inhibitions caused the possible reviews of employers, family, etc. Complete freedom of expression.
Completely naked.
But wearing a mask.
Now since I did, I felt even more - paradoxically - at home.
-
Speaking of anonymity, the thought occurred to me to start blogging anonymously. Loosen the shackles and inhibitions caused the possible reviews of employers, family, etc. Complete freedom of expression.
Completely naked.
But wearing a mask.
I need medication
Oh, yes. I am still alive.
But it's summer now, I've been moving around and also my router at home broke down so I am reduced to sneaky workstation surfing.
I have been thinking about writing for a while. I feel some sort of obligation to provide my handful of reading friends with info. But at the same time, I just had some sort of realisation of the annoying sides of blogging. Feeling the pressure to write. Meeting so many experiences with the attitude "I have to remember how to word this" or "cant I blog about this? Is it too boring an experience? Too personal?", etc. Some blogs I look over seem too ambitious, and some are to much of a showcase of personal exploits. I dunno.
But at the end of the day, I like to write and have a need to practice and vent. What the end result may be, we'll see.
-
Summer is rushing past. It's warm and beautiful and I feel (as usual) that I am not managing to enjoy it as much as possible. I am not optimised.
My two weeks of vacation ended three days ago. During that fortnight I travelled 3600km, saw lots of bands, elks, friends, an completely failed to relax. I would've liked the opportunity to get bored, understimulated, etc.
I went to the musicfestival in Arvika, where I saw The Knife, Tiger Lou, Kaizers Orchestra, Midaircondo, Sophie Rimheden, Teddybears Sthlm, Firefox AK, Suburban Kids..., Thåström, Franz Ferdinand, a bunch of Synth that I didnt really get and probably a few guys I forgot to mention.
Tiger Lou and the Knife ruled. Midaircondo was epic. Kaizers were great. The rest - eeh.
Back in _Norrland I went for a biketrip with some friends. We did an all day tour of the High Coast Albion of Nordingrå. Great company, great food, and a phenomenal feeling of endorfin-fuelled happiness. Shame it didn't last longer.
Now that I am back I am overcome with a dull stress and a restless loneliness. I have that old familiar feeling of being pushed ahead through time, as though tied to the front of a runaway train. It is a complete loss of control over my own destiny, and usually results in desperate measures such as sleeping in even though I don't enjoy it, drinking, loss of apetite; basically no energy.
Yesterday I went around town and to a movie with AZ. We saw "Le temps qui reste" which was beautiful and sad and didn't have a message. That is a good thing about a movie, in case you wondered. No messages. No morals. No Hollywood.
I'll be back in a while with more about nothing. Now I will go home. And then to the Girl to watch a movie.
I hope you are ok.
But it's summer now, I've been moving around and also my router at home broke down so I am reduced to sneaky workstation surfing.
I have been thinking about writing for a while. I feel some sort of obligation to provide my handful of reading friends with info. But at the same time, I just had some sort of realisation of the annoying sides of blogging. Feeling the pressure to write. Meeting so many experiences with the attitude "I have to remember how to word this" or "cant I blog about this? Is it too boring an experience? Too personal?", etc. Some blogs I look over seem too ambitious, and some are to much of a showcase of personal exploits. I dunno.
But at the end of the day, I like to write and have a need to practice and vent. What the end result may be, we'll see.
-
Summer is rushing past. It's warm and beautiful and I feel (as usual) that I am not managing to enjoy it as much as possible. I am not optimised.
My two weeks of vacation ended three days ago. During that fortnight I travelled 3600km, saw lots of bands, elks, friends, an completely failed to relax. I would've liked the opportunity to get bored, understimulated, etc.
I went to the musicfestival in Arvika, where I saw The Knife, Tiger Lou, Kaizers Orchestra, Midaircondo, Sophie Rimheden, Teddybears Sthlm, Firefox AK, Suburban Kids..., Thåström, Franz Ferdinand, a bunch of Synth that I didnt really get and probably a few guys I forgot to mention.
Tiger Lou and the Knife ruled. Midaircondo was epic. Kaizers were great. The rest - eeh.
Back in _Norrland I went for a biketrip with some friends. We did an all day tour of the High Coast Albion of Nordingrå. Great company, great food, and a phenomenal feeling of endorfin-fuelled happiness. Shame it didn't last longer.
Now that I am back I am overcome with a dull stress and a restless loneliness. I have that old familiar feeling of being pushed ahead through time, as though tied to the front of a runaway train. It is a complete loss of control over my own destiny, and usually results in desperate measures such as sleeping in even though I don't enjoy it, drinking, loss of apetite; basically no energy.
Yesterday I went around town and to a movie with AZ. We saw "Le temps qui reste" which was beautiful and sad and didn't have a message. That is a good thing about a movie, in case you wondered. No messages. No morals. No Hollywood.
I'll be back in a while with more about nothing. Now I will go home. And then to the Girl to watch a movie.
I hope you are ok.
Maybe?
Firefox AK (se) >>
Franz Ferdinand (uk) >>
Hello Saferide (se) >>
Jenny Wilson (se) >>
Juno Reactor (uk) >>
Kaizers Orchestra (no) >>
Laleh (se) >>
Midaircondo (se) >>
Sophie Rimheden (se) >>
Teddybears STHLM (se) >>
The Knife (se) >>
Tiger Lou (se) >>
Franz Ferdinand (uk) >>
Hello Saferide (se) >>
Jenny Wilson (se) >>
Juno Reactor (uk) >>
Kaizers Orchestra (no) >>
Laleh (se) >>
Midaircondo (se) >>
Sophie Rimheden (se) >>
Teddybears STHLM (se) >>
The Knife (se) >>
Tiger Lou (se) >>
Who writes these days?
Weather's to great to do anything work-related. But I have to. At least the weekend was as lazy as summer should be.
I brought my juggling balls to work, thinking they would offer a mental break now and then.
Regina sings:
I brought my juggling balls to work, thinking they would offer a mental break now and then.
Regina sings:
"he was perfect except for the fact that he was an engineer "Now to this first long day of this last long week before I _______ break ______free
This is Radio Freedom
Standing in the shadows at the end of my bed
In a clear and intense dream last night my cold was diagnosed as a terminal illness. Without any newfound wisdom or clarity, I began living out the last days of my life feeling empty and finally proven right in my prophecies that I could not possibly deserve all this. I remember wearing a bath robe, drinking wine out of a duralex glass.
Go go go kart
There I go, in the lead
And here I come, placing first
And there I stand, tall and proud
And here I come, placing first
And there I stand, tall and proud
Listen closely
..to todays songs, (just click on the "1. Little boxes" and the music player will start..)
Sketches for my sweetheart the football fan
Hi baby
I went to the park this evening. Sitting in a chilly office all day looking out at a perfectly blue sky has made me envy the unemployed, and I felt that I should try to profit from some of the sun instead of just whining about it. So I took my bike and my book and my backpack to the city park, and I found a spot that would offer anther hour or two of waning sunlight. These are the kind of summer days when even these dying rays are warm enough to feed your skin with energy and warmth.
As usual I was alone. This was one of the things I thought about. I am not a very lonely person, and I certainly have no problem socialising or meeting people. To my own surprise, a fantastic group of the worlds most beautiful people gathered in my back yard last saturday for my moving in-party
And I really don't want to make out as if I'm complaning, but I really wonder what it is that I'm not doing, or doing wrong. This is one of those things that make me claim that I have my fair share of social handicaps. There are these things about group socialising that I just don't get. These instinctive flock behaviours that everybody seem to go through with the ease of a water slide, I feel like the only penguin left on the ice. When did everybody else slide in?
Because that's the thing. I have no special preference for this solitude. Sure, I like a fair amount of time on my own, and I have quite a few hobbies to keep me busy, but a lot of times I wouldn't mind going to the park for kubb or whatever.
And let me also add that, sure, maybe I can be little stand-offish. And lazy. So, it's not as if nobody invites me anywhere. That's not it. It's the nuance of never have been apart of a group, never having flown with a flock.
Just a long, brooding thought. Thinking it took a lot shorter than writing it down.
-
And then I thought a longer thought. And this thought was, as I was looking around at all these groups and couples, summer dressed and happy, and having assessed myself as being the only loner
This was a long and floating thought.
I thought it as I was sitting, stealing glances at the happy couple next to me
I thought of it as I wondered where I would take you if we got up north this summer.
I thought of it as I fiddled with my remaining dreadlocks
Hope you read it
Hope you like it
I went to the park this evening. Sitting in a chilly office all day looking out at a perfectly blue sky has made me envy the unemployed, and I felt that I should try to profit from some of the sun instead of just whining about it. So I took my bike and my book and my backpack to the city park, and I found a spot that would offer anther hour or two of waning sunlight. These are the kind of summer days when even these dying rays are warm enough to feed your skin with energy and warmth.
As usual I was alone. This was one of the things I thought about. I am not a very lonely person, and I certainly have no problem socialising or meeting people. To my own surprise, a fantastic group of the worlds most beautiful people gathered in my back yard last saturday for my moving in-party
((I use parenthesis the way you teach me) and there and then I thought of the TAW song where he sings "It's summer here, with the worlds most beautiful people", a very true summer feeling I recognise(and thinking of Tomas of course made me think of you))and this alone could stand as some sort of proof that I have no real trouble making friends. But somehow, and this is what I thought of tonight, as I have many times, somehow I still manage to spend most of my time alone. Days and nights go by, and I can hear of others in short glimpses of another kind of life, where there's always a group of people going out for beer, having a barbecue, playing freesbee. I have seen people from around me mix while I stand here on the sideline, waiting and watching.
And I really don't want to make out as if I'm complaning, but I really wonder what it is that I'm not doing, or doing wrong. This is one of those things that make me claim that I have my fair share of social handicaps. There are these things about group socialising that I just don't get. These instinctive flock behaviours that everybody seem to go through with the ease of a water slide, I feel like the only penguin left on the ice. When did everybody else slide in?
Because that's the thing. I have no special preference for this solitude. Sure, I like a fair amount of time on my own, and I have quite a few hobbies to keep me busy, but a lot of times I wouldn't mind going to the park for kubb or whatever.
And let me also add that, sure, maybe I can be little stand-offish. And lazy. So, it's not as if nobody invites me anywhere. That's not it. It's the nuance of never have been apart of a group, never having flown with a flock.
Just a long, brooding thought. Thinking it took a lot shorter than writing it down.
-
And then I thought a longer thought. And this thought was, as I was looking around at all these groups and couples, summer dressed and happy, and having assessed myself as being the only loner
(and again, I don't want to complain, all I wanted to do was to soak up some sun and read my great book), this next thought I thought was of you. I thought of what I might want more, and I looked at the couple on the next blanket and I really really wanted you, just you, to be there. You wouldn't have to say anything or do anything, I would just have loved to lie with you inches away on a blanket, reading.
This was a long and floating thought.
I thought it as I was sitting, stealing glances at the happy couple next to me
(it seems these days, just about any girl I see, all she does is remind me of you).I thought it as I lay on my back, thinking how the little stringy clouds high above looked the same as still photographs of thin powdered snow being blown into snaky patterns on the asphalt behind timber trucks.
I thought of it as I wondered where I would take you if we got up north this summer.
I thought of it as I fiddled with my remaining dreadlocks
(I haven't told you yet, but I finally cut them. Now, there's only a tuft of them left, hare-krishna style, on my head).I thought of you, and then I thought I'd write this open letter to you.
Hope you read it
Hope you like it
There were three police cars and a fire engine as well
Yo skids
Last night I went out walking at 3 am. I thought I might get some interesting photos of Uppsala. And maybe I did or maybe I didn't, but I did have some strange experiences. Two meetings of an older generations quite polarised views of ME, or rather of the Youth.
The first was while I was taking some photos of grafitti paintings in an underpass. A couple around 45-50, slightly drunk, happened by. The man, who did most of the communicating asked what I was doing and if he also could be in the "film". I said they were only stills, but to humor him I took his picture. As they parted, jovially staggering supported by each other, he made affirmations as to the necessety to Live for Art.
At the end of my walkabout I had to cross the train tracks at the station house to get home. As I walked along the platform, a bell started chiming and a flashing light told me to "stop". So I did. And as I had my camera with me and nothing better to do while I waited, I set the tripod up and looked around for the train to come. A man from across the tracks adressed me. I don't remember his exact frasings, but he kept asking what I was doing and what I would take a picture of. Confused I tried to keep a ready out for the train while saying that it was the oncoming train I was photographing. He seemed agitated and angry and finally his line of questioning revealed why. "It's because it's painted isn't it?" he said. "Why else would someone be out at this time". I was shocked and delighted to have been mistaken for a delinquent, and felt a surge of adrenalin. I argued with him for a while, saying he was a very prejudiced man, and that had he looked around at the glowing pink morining sky he would understand that there are many reasons to take a camera out at 3:30 in the morning. He, meanwhile, didn't relent, didn't listen. Finally, realising he could do nothing about the situation, neither the real one nor his imagined one, the bitter conductor growled "Well, now I know what you look like". I congratulated him as he was walking away and the train entered the station. I didn't get any good shots, but I am thinking of documenting train grafitti and tags as a photo project.
Gnight
Last night I went out walking at 3 am. I thought I might get some interesting photos of Uppsala. And maybe I did or maybe I didn't, but I did have some strange experiences. Two meetings of an older generations quite polarised views of ME, or rather of the Youth.
The first was while I was taking some photos of grafitti paintings in an underpass. A couple around 45-50, slightly drunk, happened by. The man, who did most of the communicating asked what I was doing and if he also could be in the "film". I said they were only stills, but to humor him I took his picture. As they parted, jovially staggering supported by each other, he made affirmations as to the necessety to Live for Art.
At the end of my walkabout I had to cross the train tracks at the station house to get home. As I walked along the platform, a bell started chiming and a flashing light told me to "stop". So I did. And as I had my camera with me and nothing better to do while I waited, I set the tripod up and looked around for the train to come. A man from across the tracks adressed me. I don't remember his exact frasings, but he kept asking what I was doing and what I would take a picture of. Confused I tried to keep a ready out for the train while saying that it was the oncoming train I was photographing. He seemed agitated and angry and finally his line of questioning revealed why. "It's because it's painted isn't it?" he said. "Why else would someone be out at this time". I was shocked and delighted to have been mistaken for a delinquent, and felt a surge of adrenalin. I argued with him for a while, saying he was a very prejudiced man, and that had he looked around at the glowing pink morining sky he would understand that there are many reasons to take a camera out at 3:30 in the morning. He, meanwhile, didn't relent, didn't listen. Finally, realising he could do nothing about the situation, neither the real one nor his imagined one, the bitter conductor growled "Well, now I know what you look like". I congratulated him as he was walking away and the train entered the station. I didn't get any good shots, but I am thinking of documenting train grafitti and tags as a photo project.
Gnight
Part II - In which a world record is broken
So, since I promised I better get on with my story of how I spent my time on Ireland.The Girl met me at the bus stop. It was surreal. It was like coming home and still feeling like a stranger in a strange land. Again with her, I was filled with the sensation of being out of place, undeserving, like I was mistaken for someone else and let into a fancy party.
Walking home to her place, we just talked and kissed. I don't remember this time in any great detail, still upset and focused on my material losses and the precarious situation it had caused me. Dropping off my stuff was the plan, but we fell into each other and rested at her place for a while. I have to add that it was quite a dump. Sorry baby, but I think you felt so too.
Then we strolled over to Baby's sister to watch Lost and pick up an extra pillow and a cdplayer. As I look back, writing this, that looks good, the bare essentials. Two lovers, a pillow and a cdplayer. And from the memories, more than any street or café in Galway, those things seem to have taken a big place.
Sister was nice, she didn't grill me, she didn't give me the evil eye, the crook eye or even the stink eye. I was somehow expecting her to be very protective. Why? I don't know. Because of how precious I feel the Girl is perhaps. We spent an hour or so with her and her flatmates, watching Lost as I said, and they were nice as well.
The first few days went as follows. Kissing a lot, hugging a lot, walking a lot, sleeping some, buying stuff i needed, going to cafés. Wednesday night, we arranged so that I and Sister was to cook, as The Girl was at work (café, part time) and we whipped up quite a nice dinner. An eclectic mix of simple and yet exquisite foods such as blue cheese gratinated tomatoes, bruschetta, grilled vegetables, wine... I felt we did a good job, and got a chance to get to know each other a bit. Which also went well.
Thursday, we had made plans to rome a bit, so we hired a car and took it for a few miles around some really strange places before finding the routes we were looking for and finally the Letterfrack Old Monastery hostel. It was like a little adventure, driving around the islands west of Galway, ending up at a cul-de-sac called Lettermullen which at least had a small store which supplied us with cookies, bananas, apples and informed us of our actual lokation which was a hop, skip and a jump from where we thought we were. Backtracking, we took some precautions to ask for the way when in doubt.
Coming up toward the Connemara, it finally felt like we were moving somewhere. Mountains rose out of the mist, and the road signs were back to English, having been all in Irish during our stumble in the western county Galway. Slaloming through, we stopped a few times just to get a look and take some air in. At some point, the stunning Kylemore Abbey came out of the trees across a small lake, like a Disneyland Castle but better.This was my second trip to the
Old Monastery, and I loved it again. Such a nice hostel, with a feeling that is for me unique. I promised yet again to return and spend more time. During thursday afternoon we managed to go for a naturewalk in the connemara national park, eat a tiny serving of veggie spring rolls, drive what I think was called the Connemara ring, and last but not least, sneak into the grounds of the aforementioned Abbey where we met some spooky girls who spoke with a german accent, smoked and rode skateboards. Ghosts, most likely, because who ever heard of an all-girl boarding school run by nuns in this day and age. "There used to be a school there but something terrible happened.. " and so forth.We spent only one night there. I felt we could have spent forever. This is now 4 nights together and I was still feeling like it was all amazing. So much for worrying about annoying each other after a while.
Instead we raced back in the morning, afraid to be late with the rental car. Of course we were hours ahead of time. Friday night I was beginning to feel the beginning of the end. I knew, The Girl would be working saturday, and so, time was suddenly not on our side but against us.
Saturday, I went with Sister and her friends to Lahinch to attend a Guinness world record attempt at getting the most surfers on a single wave. Although the weather was really the worst, that is calm, cold and completely still. Finally the tide brought in some surfable waves and, i have learned in retrospect, they actually did beat the record. Something like 46 surfers on one single wave. It left me relatively untouched, but I did appreciate the band that was playing before the attempt AND the pie I had for lunch.
As the afternoon progressed I kept looking at my watch. I didn't want to get back late to Galway. I really didn't want to miss a moment with The Girl. Fortunately we got back before she got off work.
Then I spent the last night in Galway.
Then I went home.
The End.
Amazingly so
Before I had a chance to (haha, i had plenty chances.. but before I chose to) comment on my new living situation it changed.
Last friday I moved my ass and all of my worldly possesions to a new room in a new apartment - right downtown. I am now crammed into a slightly smaller space facing the central station.
What I was gonna say about that was the four really nice people I've moved in with. But mere moments ago two of them announced that they're moving out. It's a couple, and they're moving into the girls parents house while they are away and then.. not back here. Still shellshocked I don't know if there is any drama behind their decision, but needless to say it does not put me at ease one bit.
One upside to it however is that I know can move into her/their room.. which is bigger than the one I'm in and has...the balcony! That wont be a big shame I guess. But, I wouldn't have minded living in this room at all, and I'm sure that they were both nice people to hang with, at least that's my first impressions.
-
I had so much nice things to say, about the apartment which is big and bright and perfectly situated, and about the guys living here who are friendly, cool and fun. But now I feel hesitant and also a fair bit tired.
-
Anyhoo; if you're looking for a place to live in Uppsala, just drop me a line and I'll hook you up in this nice place.
Field Commander Cohen
"It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender"
According to the latest polls
i have the life of a Folkpartist.. i feel violated and betrayed..
(DN test)
Fp -77%
Mp -58%
M -52%
V -48%
C -38%
Kd -35%
S -26%
(DN test)
Fp -77%
Mp -58%
M -52%
V -48%
C -38%
Kd -35%
S -26%
Songlines
"Je sens sur tes levres une odeur de fievre de gosse mal nourri.
Et sous ta caresse je sens une ivresse qui m'aneantit."
-Rufus Wainwright
---
"Her heart's a menagerie
of coffee stained diaries"
-Tony Roberts
Part I - In which a part of me gets lost
Let's see for how long I'll have energy..
-
Came back last night at 1am to Uppsala after what has been a long and complex week.
1st things 1st, and where I went initially was Glasgow, to meet my friends B and I. This here to the left is them, on top of some hill in Edinburgh.
-
The first day was a saturday and we went to do some sporting to give the weekend a good start. I put away 2k in the swimming pool while the B knocked some (shuttle-)cocks around. Suitably fit for fight we then hit the town for some bean burgers at bar91.
Then we went back home, chilled with cups o tea, the backbone of brittania. Mr L was arriving during the day, and we made arrangements to meet up later. We took the car to Balfron outside of Glasgow where B was to partake in an event about a Gambian village and the projects of
exchange and development that was underway between it and a Scottish village school. B is involved in a solar project, which is going to install a small solar electric system in the village, providing artificial light, a medical refridgerator and perhaps some additional power for a computer station.
The evening was interesting and inspiring for the most part.
-
then we went back to glasgow for the traumatising experience of tumbling down the crabbit hole into B's sister bachelorette party. Six highly intoxicated young women in purple glitter wigs, dancing, shouting, drinking and generally making very little sense. They were nice though, groping aside.
we par-teed at McPhlabbs pub until and beyond closing time, the girls left earlier, but we stayde on for drinks with the barman. In retrospect i feel like the drinks may have been watered down, because I can't understand otherwise how i could still be standing.
Not letting this stop us, we went to "Cantremebere" nicht-club for dancing to the classics like MMMMmmmbop and others. During some confusion when we left, B ordered two Jack and Cokes. Realising he was the only one left inside, he determedly downed both of them and came out to join the rest of us.
-
Sunday, we slept in. Then went to Edinburgh for a daytrip, just walking around in a hazy foggy city. I was feeling weird, carsick or hungover. Coldsweating. We did the city mostly in a car and then climbed onto a hill (see photo on top). After the hill we dove into pizzas and colas as if they were life-boats. I felt saved and helped and cured. Then we went for coffee.
-
Sunday night we went to see some live jazz, but ended up at salsa-night. All beat and tired, we ended early and went to sleep.
-
Monday I got into town with B, bought a bottle of scotch and left for the airport.
-
Flight to Dublin. Arrived into rain and felt like shit. Nervous, dizzy. I found the bus to Galway and borded it. As the four hour ride neared it's end I felt better. The sun was coming out and I was listening to good music in my iAudio and I could feel quietly optimistic. Still, I couldn't get that I would soon see her.
-
I sank completely as I got off the bus in Galway. I couldn't find my bag in the luggage compartment. Well, couldn't find sounds wrong. It wasn't there. No bags where left after the other people got theirs. So I could coldly conclude that mine was gone. Some knuckle-head, sheit-for-brains, pure evil little pissant took it out of the luggage compartment somwhere during the ride. It fried my brain. Realisation of what I had in it came to me in flashing shocks, like blows to the head. My presents for Her. My glasses and contact lenses. All my clothes, my favourite clothes. My favourite shoes. My house keys. My cellphone-charger. Instead of arriving to a safe home, I found my self being pushed of the plank, panicking.
Luckily, only seconds later She arrived and could take me in her arms, a lot weaker and more vulnerable than I wanted to be. When she held me, I realised that things were already getting better. Those first minutes of panic where past, and I was moving away from them. During the following days I had to face many moments of materialistic anguish, feeling like a part of me had been cut off. Most of the practical problems were solved within 24hrs. I got new lenses, new underwear and a pair of shoes and some tshirts.
In part II i'll tell you how things went with me, the Girl and Time.
-
Came back last night at 1am to Uppsala after what has been a long and complex week.
1st things 1st, and where I went initially was Glasgow, to meet my friends B and I. This here to the left is them, on top of some hill in Edinburgh.-
The first day was a saturday and we went to do some sporting to give the weekend a good start. I put away 2k in the swimming pool while the B knocked some (shuttle-)cocks around. Suitably fit for fight we then hit the town for some bean burgers at bar91.
Then we went back home, chilled with cups o tea, the backbone of brittania. Mr L was arriving during the day, and we made arrangements to meet up later. We took the car to Balfron outside of Glasgow where B was to partake in an event about a Gambian village and the projects of
exchange and development that was underway between it and a Scottish village school. B is involved in a solar project, which is going to install a small solar electric system in the village, providing artificial light, a medical refridgerator and perhaps some additional power for a computer station.The evening was interesting and inspiring for the most part.
-
then we went back to glasgow for the traumatising experience of tumbling down the crabbit hole into B's sister bachelorette party. Six highly intoxicated young women in purple glitter wigs, dancing, shouting, drinking and generally making very little sense. They were nice though, groping aside.
we par-teed at McPhlabbs pub until and beyond closing time, the girls left earlier, but we stayde on for drinks with the barman. In retrospect i feel like the drinks may have been watered down, because I can't understand otherwise how i could still be standing.
Not letting this stop us, we went to "Cantremebere" nicht-club for dancing to the classics like MMMMmmmbop and others. During some confusion when we left, B ordered two Jack and Cokes. Realising he was the only one left inside, he determedly downed both of them and came out to join the rest of us.
-
Sunday, we slept in. Then went to Edinburgh for a daytrip, just walking around in a hazy foggy city. I was feeling weird, carsick or hungover. Coldsweating. We did the city mostly in a car and then climbed onto a hill (see photo on top). After the hill we dove into pizzas and colas as if they were life-boats. I felt saved and helped and cured. Then we went for coffee.
-
Sunday night we went to see some live jazz, but ended up at salsa-night. All beat and tired, we ended early and went to sleep.
-
Monday I got into town with B, bought a bottle of scotch and left for the airport.
-
Flight to Dublin. Arrived into rain and felt like shit. Nervous, dizzy. I found the bus to Galway and borded it. As the four hour ride neared it's end I felt better. The sun was coming out and I was listening to good music in my iAudio and I could feel quietly optimistic. Still, I couldn't get that I would soon see her.-
I sank completely as I got off the bus in Galway. I couldn't find my bag in the luggage compartment. Well, couldn't find sounds wrong. It wasn't there. No bags where left after the other people got theirs. So I could coldly conclude that mine was gone. Some knuckle-head, sheit-for-brains, pure evil little pissant took it out of the luggage compartment somwhere during the ride. It fried my brain. Realisation of what I had in it came to me in flashing shocks, like blows to the head. My presents for Her. My glasses and contact lenses. All my clothes, my favourite clothes. My favourite shoes. My house keys. My cellphone-charger. Instead of arriving to a safe home, I found my self being pushed of the plank, panicking.
Luckily, only seconds later She arrived and could take me in her arms, a lot weaker and more vulnerable than I wanted to be. When she held me, I realised that things were already getting better. Those first minutes of panic where past, and I was moving away from them. During the following days I had to face many moments of materialistic anguish, feeling like a part of me had been cut off. Most of the practical problems were solved within 24hrs. I got new lenses, new underwear and a pair of shoes and some tshirts.
In part II i'll tell you how things went with me, the Girl and Time.
Make it shorter
Hya
Just a quick word to say, hello
I'm in Ireland now, in Galway, in a sunny and warm and unexpected climate.
First night on the island, i took the bus from dublin airport and some f~cker stole my bag off the bus. I hate that person. Because he (statistically) didn't really get Anything of value, to him (except a bottle of single malt), but he robbed me of some of my absolutely favourite clothes, my glasses AND contact lenses, the gifts I brought from sweden (candy and a book) and a pretty good backpack.
A##hole
D#ckhead
So, thats that. I'm fine now, really. This will ebb and flow and perculate for a while until evaporated. I am remedying the practical chaos left in its wake by shopping new stuff in fair trade stores. I have fair shoes.
Being with the girl is heaven. I'm thinking dirty thoughts and then acting on them.
Now, I gotta go. Shop for dinner. Meet up with the sister of the girl and start cooking.
Have a good one til next time..
Just a quick word to say, hello
I'm in Ireland now, in Galway, in a sunny and warm and unexpected climate.
First night on the island, i took the bus from dublin airport and some f~cker stole my bag off the bus. I hate that person. Because he (statistically) didn't really get Anything of value, to him (except a bottle of single malt), but he robbed me of some of my absolutely favourite clothes, my glasses AND contact lenses, the gifts I brought from sweden (candy and a book) and a pretty good backpack.
A##hole
D#ckhead
So, thats that. I'm fine now, really. This will ebb and flow and perculate for a while until evaporated. I am remedying the practical chaos left in its wake by shopping new stuff in fair trade stores. I have fair shoes.
Being with the girl is heaven. I'm thinking dirty thoughts and then acting on them.
Now, I gotta go. Shop for dinner. Meet up with the sister of the girl and start cooking.
Have a good one til next time..
in other words, hold my hand
so, i'll probably go offline for about a week
tonight i'm headin out to scotland, glasgow, to meet see B and meet up with I. There i'll spend the weekend, probably pubin' a bit and maybe buyin a bottle'o'scotch or two. there'll be good times i'm sure.
then, come monday, i am goinga away home. away to ireland, to the woman i want to call home. for the first time in our history we'll get to spend 24 consecutive hours together. up that, we'll actually get to spend around 168 consecutive hours together (that is, if she doesn't get a job, or throw me out). what a scary thing.
here
two people who lived their life
squeezed in between
work
and sleep
and all the little obligations
of everyday
stealing from the account
of respectable hours
from the essence of sleep
here and there
a few moments of
quietly
falling
in
love
with the smell and touch of another person
with another person
and now
nothing to do
but all we ever wanted
how scary is that
i ask
what could be more risky
than getting what you wish for
then hitting what you head for
-
so, yeah, i am shaky
i mean, i know that i cannot know what will happend
but.. really.. mostly.. i just cannot wait to find out
-
and as i said,
prbably offline for a while
don't worry
i'll be back
and nothing will ever be the same
the one thing you can count on
ciao
tonight i'm headin out to scotland, glasgow, to meet see B and meet up with I. There i'll spend the weekend, probably pubin' a bit and maybe buyin a bottle'o'scotch or two. there'll be good times i'm sure.
then, come monday, i am goinga away home. away to ireland, to the woman i want to call home. for the first time in our history we'll get to spend 24 consecutive hours together. up that, we'll actually get to spend around 168 consecutive hours together (that is, if she doesn't get a job, or throw me out). what a scary thing.
here
two people who lived their life
squeezed in between
work
and sleep
and all the little obligations
of everyday
stealing from the account
of respectable hours
from the essence of sleep
here and there
a few moments of
quietly
falling
in
love
with the smell and touch of another person
with another person
and now
nothing to do
but all we ever wanted
how scary is that
i ask
what could be more risky
than getting what you wish for
then hitting what you head for
-
so, yeah, i am shaky
i mean, i know that i cannot know what will happend
but.. really.. mostly.. i just cannot wait to find out
-
and as i said,
prbably offline for a while
don't worry
i'll be back
and nothing will ever be the same
the one thing you can count on
ciao
Carrisa Plains
the decision to go had been taken long ago. it was one of those times when i was thinking my clearest on my feet. in mid-discussion, a dynamic dialogue like a road-trip along new roads in your home county, my answer to what i would do if she left came within a moments reflection.
- i'd have to leave. i'd go to new york.
the statement left me looking out at my future with the sense of having left childhood and innocence. i was sitting in a life-boat made of my only real dream, watching my world sink.
that was 3 years ago. she left only a year later. new york carried me around for a few years, and for a while i thought things were gonna be ok for me. but now i am standing in carrisa, with a gun in my bag, knowing that if someone picks me up and recognises me, i will most likely have to kill them.
- i'd have to leave. i'd go to new york.
the statement left me looking out at my future with the sense of having left childhood and innocence. i was sitting in a life-boat made of my only real dream, watching my world sink.
that was 3 years ago. she left only a year later. new york carried me around for a few years, and for a while i thought things were gonna be ok for me. but now i am standing in carrisa, with a gun in my bag, knowing that if someone picks me up and recognises me, i will most likely have to kill them.
A dry brain
A long dazed journey into night
-
Today is the day after one of Uppsalas biggest parties, the last of April or Valborgsmässoafton (old pagan rituals, burning fires to scare off the witches, I believe). It being so, it is also the day after I got embarrassingly drunk. Like the stupid kid in a candy store I can be around alcohol, I went to far again. Fell asleep far to early, which resulted in me and my mates spending the evening at my place, generally just sobering up and talking.
But that was yesterday. And this is today. I am having gut-wrenching anxiety about the complete idiocy of the thing. I SHOULD know better. I SHOULD've learned by now. But, nooooo. I guess it couldve been worse. The only bad things I did was dance around and talk in a stupid (Borat) voice, shout a bit, and loose my friends train-tickets (which he cleverly stored in a plastic bag containing beer bottles that may or may not have been emptied). I also picked up some useless junk in my drunken cleptomaniacal way: a comb, a bag from with the logo of a swedish magazine, Solo, written on it, and a blood alcohol level of 45 %..
so I am mortally ashamed, my soul feels like its been slapped across the cheek.
-
The day was good however. I was wellbehaved for most of it. We spent it first sitting in the Ekonomikum park, having a Max lunch (best veggie-burger) and some whine. Then we did a little loop-di-loop thing, going into town centre for a coffee and a toilet break, rounding up some of Å(friend who was here)'s friends, returning a few hours back in the park. There we sat down for about 4 hours, just chatting away with her friends, their friends, some italians walking by, someones brother, some spanish people walking by, etc. By the end of this sitting, I had reached some sort of new peak of drunkenness, unheard of before. We decided to pop back home for a pizza dinner and a change before preceeding to a party or barbecue somewhere. Most of this time is rememberd by me in flashes. Stumbling along the sidewalk. Wrapping the picnic blanket around me. By the time we'd had pizza, I went into my room for something and promtly fell asleep. My friends, with big hearts, didn't seem to mind that this state would mean (by my choice) that we wouldn't be going to any barbecue. I tried to usher them away to have fun with the other guys from the park, but the kind gentle creatures stayed on at my place. We ended up just chatting for some 4 more hours, me drinking copious amounts of water to replenish what must've been an almost empty stock.
It was a fantastic day. I met some really nice people. But I still feel soo bad for being such a sponge when it comes to alcohol..
-
Evening is upon me, and I'll just watch simpsons till I fall asleep.
Goodnight.
-
Today is the day after one of Uppsalas biggest parties, the last of April or Valborgsmässoafton (old pagan rituals, burning fires to scare off the witches, I believe). It being so, it is also the day after I got embarrassingly drunk. Like the stupid kid in a candy store I can be around alcohol, I went to far again. Fell asleep far to early, which resulted in me and my mates spending the evening at my place, generally just sobering up and talking.
But that was yesterday. And this is today. I am having gut-wrenching anxiety about the complete idiocy of the thing. I SHOULD know better. I SHOULD've learned by now. But, nooooo. I guess it couldve been worse. The only bad things I did was dance around and talk in a stupid (Borat) voice, shout a bit, and loose my friends train-tickets (which he cleverly stored in a plastic bag containing beer bottles that may or may not have been emptied). I also picked up some useless junk in my drunken cleptomaniacal way: a comb, a bag from with the logo of a swedish magazine, Solo, written on it, and a blood alcohol level of 45 %..
so I am mortally ashamed, my soul feels like its been slapped across the cheek.
-
The day was good however. I was wellbehaved for most of it. We spent it first sitting in the Ekonomikum park, having a Max lunch (best veggie-burger) and some whine. Then we did a little loop-di-loop thing, going into town centre for a coffee and a toilet break, rounding up some of Å(friend who was here)'s friends, returning a few hours back in the park. There we sat down for about 4 hours, just chatting away with her friends, their friends, some italians walking by, someones brother, some spanish people walking by, etc. By the end of this sitting, I had reached some sort of new peak of drunkenness, unheard of before. We decided to pop back home for a pizza dinner and a change before preceeding to a party or barbecue somewhere. Most of this time is rememberd by me in flashes. Stumbling along the sidewalk. Wrapping the picnic blanket around me. By the time we'd had pizza, I went into my room for something and promtly fell asleep. My friends, with big hearts, didn't seem to mind that this state would mean (by my choice) that we wouldn't be going to any barbecue. I tried to usher them away to have fun with the other guys from the park, but the kind gentle creatures stayed on at my place. We ended up just chatting for some 4 more hours, me drinking copious amounts of water to replenish what must've been an almost empty stock.
It was a fantastic day. I met some really nice people. But I still feel soo bad for being such a sponge when it comes to alcohol..
-
Evening is upon me, and I'll just watch simpsons till I fall asleep.
Goodnight.
Startling new news and amazing revelations
Lately, i feel i've been a bit whining and stuff. Partly on the blog, and surely also in emails, and IRL. Well, let's put that crap behind us shall we.
I'm working alot, yes, but only because I really want to. I mean, I want to learn a bunch of crap about these solar cells and stuff, so I'll be able to answer any questions any time, and so I'll hold this project in my hands with questions in my head as to where I want to take it. Generellay if you feel pulled by the nose, you can either pick up pace or grab a bolt cutter and emacipate yourself. Right now, I have no desire to be free from this, but I want to be free IN what I am doing. In control. Hey, I guess even IN POWER. And I'm getting there. And it is interesting. And I hope this doesn't also sound like complaining.
So. Summer is ever closer. Gaaaawd that feels nice! Dun'iit? As I may have mentioned I am totally caught in fierce reveries related to recreations this summer. Ireland trip in two weeks. Norway trip later. And a bike-camp with KD and ED around the High Coast. And as much as I daydream about the trips themselves and the Great Times with Great Friends, I have also slipped into quite a bit of what we in sweden call "prylbögeri" (i.e. materialism directed towards necessary or unnecessary gadgets of considerable price). I want new Climatech® Heavy Mp pants, new Polartec® Power Stretch® jersey, new Techno Trail® Cooking kit, new foldable knife... needless to say, all of it completely necessary and reasonably priced. Oh, and a new small backpack.
--
Missing my girlfriend is less exhilerating and more painful these days. At first it was ok, I could sit around and think about her and really just smile. But as time goes by, I wish more and more that I could see her. And I guess, now I shouldn't complain since it's only two weeks till i drop in on her in Eire.
--
Well. Heh. Im happy, really I am.. Yeahh.
I'm working alot, yes, but only because I really want to. I mean, I want to learn a bunch of crap about these solar cells and stuff, so I'll be able to answer any questions any time, and so I'll hold this project in my hands with questions in my head as to where I want to take it. Generellay if you feel pulled by the nose, you can either pick up pace or grab a bolt cutter and emacipate yourself. Right now, I have no desire to be free from this, but I want to be free IN what I am doing. In control. Hey, I guess even IN POWER. And I'm getting there. And it is interesting. And I hope this doesn't also sound like complaining.
So. Summer is ever closer. Gaaaawd that feels nice! Dun'iit? As I may have mentioned I am totally caught in fierce reveries related to recreations this summer. Ireland trip in two weeks. Norway trip later. And a bike-camp with KD and ED around the High Coast. And as much as I daydream about the trips themselves and the Great Times with Great Friends, I have also slipped into quite a bit of what we in sweden call "prylbögeri" (i.e. materialism directed towards necessary or unnecessary gadgets of considerable price). I want new Climatech® Heavy Mp pants, new Polartec® Power Stretch® jersey, new Techno Trail® Cooking kit, new foldable knife... needless to say, all of it completely necessary and reasonably priced. Oh, and a new small backpack.
--
Missing my girlfriend is less exhilerating and more painful these days. At first it was ok, I could sit around and think about her and really just smile. But as time goes by, I wish more and more that I could see her. And I guess, now I shouldn't complain since it's only two weeks till i drop in on her in Eire.
--
Well. Heh. Im happy, really I am.. Yeahh.
Do you like to watch?
So, in my pursuit, my poursuite, of happines and integrity I am looking around for the optimal web-base photo-sharing community/site/thingy... (Any tips accepted with grinning teeth and crooked eyebrows..).
Added four of my test sites to the links on the side. All the site have been awarded with different pics, mostly old but many unpublished. Pleas give me any feedback you can think of, both for the photos as well as for the sites and their maneuverability, look, feel, anything..
And to the avid readers and my friends, I know you've all been wondering about this woman/goddess that I have ben (ben? who's ben? oh.. been.. noted 2006-04-21) graced with, so I recommend you go to the DropShots account and check out the two photos from the 12/4, depicting said beauty.
Word. Mout.
Added four of my test sites to the links on the side. All the site have been awarded with different pics, mostly old but many unpublished. Pleas give me any feedback you can think of, both for the photos as well as for the sites and their maneuverability, look, feel, anything..
And to the avid readers and my friends, I know you've all been wondering about this woman/goddess that I have ben (ben? who's ben? oh.. been.. noted 2006-04-21) graced with, so I recommend you go to the DropShots account and check out the two photos from the 12/4, depicting said beauty.
Word. Mout.
Another Ani Song
He says he loves her
He says he's changing
And he can keep her warm
And so she sits there like america
Suffering through slow reform
But she'll never get back the time
And the years sneak by
One by one
She is still playing the martyr
I am still praying for revloution
And she still doesn't have what she deserves
But she wakes up smiling every day
She never really expected more
That's just not the way we are raised
And i say to her,
You know,
There's plenty of really great men out there
But she doesn't hear me
She's looking in the mirror
She's fixing her hair
I have to turn away from this terrible drug
I had a bit of a confrontation with my self last night. You see, I was in a situation where everything was right, I mean that all known factors and were beneficial, and yet at what I felt should've been the peak and culmination of a great evening I turned a corner into complete darkness. Clarification: Right after work I met up with some friends, possibly the best, most intimate and kind friends I have here in Uppsala, and we settled in the semi-warming afternoon sun for the years first barbecue. A great meal was ingested. Laughter, smiles and all the kind words were exchanged. The chilling breath of evening ushered us inside and we kept on. Coffee and TV and videogame and guitar and back rub and more of the joking and the laughter. Hours later, I was sitting on the couch feeling completely alone and weird. I lost foothold, and instead of sliding or tripping it meant a stumble into a nothingness. A fall into a bottomless pit. No landing, no wind rushing past. Just empty, dark and quiet
In the dark I sat for a while, bewildered. What had happened. Why was I there, and everyone else outside. And then I felt a familiar breath on my neck. A monster from years past exhaling through fangs of ivory. Not far had I moved. Not far enough from the places I'd been, to escape this monster. But lessons learned are lessons learned. I rose, turned around to face the beast, and backed calmly out the door. I rode my bike through a trembling night home, the beast left sitting on a couch in my friends aparment.
In the dark I sat for a while, bewildered. What had happened. Why was I there, and everyone else outside. And then I felt a familiar breath on my neck. A monster from years past exhaling through fangs of ivory. Not far had I moved. Not far enough from the places I'd been, to escape this monster. But lessons learned are lessons learned. I rose, turned around to face the beast, and backed calmly out the door. I rode my bike through a trembling night home, the beast left sitting on a couch in my friends aparment.
The boy who cried stress
A week ago since last posted.
-
I know a million things are supposed to happend. But I have the Fear, and I want to run a way. It's the way we humans are built, you know. Fight or flight, that is our choice of reactions to any situation. Any situation that is not a simple and habitual chewing of cud. I like the way someone said that the predator without natural enemies would compartmentalise his world. If it moves - it's food. If it doesn't - it's a rock. Well, I am no predator and I feel like I'm surrounded by enemies and natural disaster. Where to run; into the forest fire, or towards the wolves.
I sink down next to a cool and comforting wall. Rock. Rock. Rock.
"It's always like this', he tells himself. 'The Fear and then a rush of Courage and the clean sweet feeling of being born'. He'd read that somewhere in an old western. But the Fear can go on and on until you can't stand it. It's going to break you, and that's when the Fear breaks. You hope." -BurroughsDays seem to pass at an alarming rate. At least when I regard work. Always it becomes harder to actually achieve the goals set for this day, this week. Instead, a headache of guilt and stress settles in my cranium. I see days pass, deadlines approaching like so many brick walls, and all I manage to do is hide in my dreams. The more I need to focus, the less I do. My head is in summer, in norway, on Eire. My arms are paddling water, walking a stick, pulling someone close enough to smell. My hands, my eyes, my nose; all are off on some separate and elusive adventure, leaving only a lonely heart to bear the load of every day life. My stomach tries to help, but only shrivels up and accumulates acids. I need an injection of Now. A realisation of Presence. A shot of adrenaline to the heart, once an hour, to burn me through all these papers, tapdance my fingers through this report.
-
"It suddenly occured to him that he was going to die. Not sooner or later, he knew that of course, but tonight."-
I know a million things are supposed to happend. But I have the Fear, and I want to run a way. It's the way we humans are built, you know. Fight or flight, that is our choice of reactions to any situation. Any situation that is not a simple and habitual chewing of cud. I like the way someone said that the predator without natural enemies would compartmentalise his world. If it moves - it's food. If it doesn't - it's a rock. Well, I am no predator and I feel like I'm surrounded by enemies and natural disaster. Where to run; into the forest fire, or towards the wolves.
I sink down next to a cool and comforting wall. Rock. Rock. Rock.
Beeefcake!
Well, I'll just let my guard down here for a second and say that
I wish she would just call
I wish she would just call
Lately I'm listening an obscene amount to
I wish she would just call
I wish she would just call
Lately I'm listening an obscene amount to
Diane Cluck:
"And red ants are moving with their sick and withered comrades
They carry the bodies of the withered in their mouths
Because it is no big deal
Hey, what else is there to do
But set your sight on something and pull your tangles through
Oh I would have gone crooked but for you
-
Hey I feel steady and I feel good
Light and emptied of last night's food
Theres a mountain ahead
When I'm ready to go up from the edge of the turnaround road"
How to jump the Grand Canyon with an office chair
Yesterday my lady left the country for the Isle of Green, Eire. I'm stupid enough not to get what's happening yet, and so I am still not on the floor, crying. Maybe I wont be. Maybe now, I've suffered through thtat, grown past it, matured. I mean, I realise she's far away, and I wont' see her for a while, but that still is eclipsed by the glowing light of happiness that it is to even know her. To have kissed her. To have held her.
It's scary nonetheless, these months ahead, being forced to face the ever present fact that no one, ever, really can say what's going to be in the future. Something you easily forget when the days are linked like a chain and not separated by a Grand Canyon of Time. I know things will change during this time. I know we both will. But I have no idea what that will mean for our relation. For the chemistry of combustion between us. Was the abyss of her leaving a catalyst to our Love. Or was it an inhibitor. Will things burn brighter next time we mix. Will they simply separate, like oil and vinegar.
"it may look like I'm brooding
not getting much done
but, oh, there is a cure here
the light is very pure here"
It's scary nonetheless, these months ahead, being forced to face the ever present fact that no one, ever, really can say what's going to be in the future. Something you easily forget when the days are linked like a chain and not separated by a Grand Canyon of Time. I know things will change during this time. I know we both will. But I have no idea what that will mean for our relation. For the chemistry of combustion between us. Was the abyss of her leaving a catalyst to our Love. Or was it an inhibitor. Will things burn brighter next time we mix. Will they simply separate, like oil and vinegar.
"it may look like I'm brooding
not getting much done
but, oh, there is a cure here
the light is very pure here"
musings in the morning glory
Waking up
the feeling of emptyness and distance is still with me
it's like my own stomach is rebelling against me
against any sense really
so I need to do something
I turn on the cdplayer
flip to a track I know well
turn the volume well up
and let it echo across the white bare walls of my apartment
so comes the relief of emotion
flood gates open
realisation that what I need is sensitation
sensitation to anything, to everything around me
everything that can become clouded over by dark thoughts
bad self esteem
all these roads I've been down too many times
to have any excuse to go back there
I need a boost
a voice that lifts my chin
and lets me see the light that comes through
reflecting brightness on a virgin cover of snow
So even though my plants are dying
euthanasia
and my things are scattered as if by a smart bomb gone stupid hit my living room
erupted
tossing cds, tshirts, socks, bills, books, cords, newspapers
in all directions
And maybe it's hard
but there's always a choice
what to accept as a mood
and what not to let enter into your mind and take over
I have a million things to enjoy today
can't keep this up
the only thing is i miss the only thing i don't have within arms length
it's strange how someone so quickly can find a place in your life
so naturally
that their absence leaves behind a void
a space only they can fill
-
ah! no more of this brooding and rambling. time for breakfast!
the feeling of emptyness and distance is still with me
it's like my own stomach is rebelling against me
against any sense really
so I need to do something
I turn on the cdplayer
flip to a track I know well
turn the volume well up
and let it echo across the white bare walls of my apartment
so comes the relief of emotion
flood gates open
realisation that what I need is sensitation
sensitation to anything, to everything around me
everything that can become clouded over by dark thoughts
bad self esteem
all these roads I've been down too many times
to have any excuse to go back there
I need a boost
a voice that lifts my chin
and lets me see the light that comes through
reflecting brightness on a virgin cover of snow
So even though my plants are dying
euthanasia
and my things are scattered as if by a smart bomb gone stupid hit my living room
erupted
tossing cds, tshirts, socks, bills, books, cords, newspapers
in all directions
And maybe it's hard
but there's always a choice
what to accept as a mood
and what not to let enter into your mind and take over
I have a million things to enjoy today
can't keep this up
the only thing is i miss the only thing i don't have within arms length
it's strange how someone so quickly can find a place in your life
so naturally
that their absence leaves behind a void
a space only they can fill
-
ah! no more of this brooding and rambling. time for breakfast!
I had so much to say and when i finally had a chance to say it i stood there silent like a dumb m*therf*cker
Right now, it's 1:30 in the morning. I am a bit lonely, tired and out of juice. Lately, I've not had time over to read blogs, write in my blog, read books, write, well not a whole lot of stuff I guess. And the quonundrum is that a bunch of write-worthy stuff has been happening, such as the UN-employee that fell asleep in the irish pub, the first snowboard 180° in 4 years, my new camera, the brick wall ahead with my best shot at a great relationship in .. well.. Its great, let's leave it at that.
Too tired. Next week I'll be going to Oslo.
Some lines through my head lately.
"Les absents ont toujours tort"
"Somewhere between devotion and indifference"
"Querer asi
Yo no soy capaz"
"I try to stay awake
but it's 58 hours since that I last slept with you"
Too tired. Next week I'll be going to Oslo.
Some lines through my head lately.
"Les absents ont toujours tort"
"Somewhere between devotion and indifference"
"Querer asi
Yo no soy capaz"
"I try to stay awake
but it's 58 hours since that I last slept with you"
Steal. Copy. Imitate.
I read this on http://ignoremi.blogspot.com/, but since I could'nt find a proper way to link to it, I just copy-pasted. Feel free to ignore this post.
--->
--->
"Read this on Xin Le's blog. Seems like those emails you forward to others. Have a read anyway.
Five (5) lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade."Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the RainOne night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely,Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked."Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it."Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient."Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.The little boy again counted his coins."I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
bittersweet
Coffee is such a fascinating thing
I mean, I like coffee
and I love expresso
or mocca coffee
but unlike a lot of slightly pedantic people
I would never say that I can only drink espresso
or that coffee should only be drunk black as night
instead
I find
that coffee is such a beautiful thing thanks to all the variations
hot swedish coffee from a thermos with a cheese limpa sandwich on a sunny, snowy slope
a mocca with a lot of warm milk and lots of sugar, in the morning with a sweet cake
an afternoon espresso, one sugar, drunk in one or two mouths
machine coffee, with all it's faults, offering a still moment of contemplation and movement
even instant coffee, to lazy for a pot when I am only one person, has its own charm
like today
when I am at home sick, just waiting for the day to reach a certain point when I have to leave
-
I mean, I like coffee
and I love expresso
or mocca coffee
but unlike a lot of slightly pedantic people
I would never say that I can only drink espresso
or that coffee should only be drunk black as night
instead
I find
that coffee is such a beautiful thing thanks to all the variations
hot swedish coffee from a thermos with a cheese limpa sandwich on a sunny, snowy slope
a mocca with a lot of warm milk and lots of sugar, in the morning with a sweet cake
an afternoon espresso, one sugar, drunk in one or two mouths
machine coffee, with all it's faults, offering a still moment of contemplation and movement
even instant coffee, to lazy for a pot when I am only one person, has its own charm
like today
when I am at home sick, just waiting for the day to reach a certain point when I have to leave
-
Infection
Cups of tea
vitamin C
days worth nothing pass by
no one calls
i've been watching some bad comedy to pass time
Anchorman - bad
The Incredibles - so-so
American Pie presents Band Camp - sucked immensly
tried to play some guitar, but i just get annoyed at the bad sounding Yamaha
i used to think such a thing to be a tragedy
but i would actually have more fun going to work
then i guess, not in this state, when nothing is really any fun
my head hurts slightly, i feel winded, warm, my joints ache
thinking is hard, i can't concentrate
all i want is to sleep, but somehow also to stupidly enjoy this time, watching movies etc.
doesn't work
will go work tomorrow, no matter
got to prepare for next week, giving a talk
today, at least something positive
a mailman forced a package through the mail slot
containing three cds
one of them in a broken cover
ungently handled during shipping
The White Birch . Star is just a sun
Mi and L'Au . Mi and L'Au
Regina Spektor . Soviet Kitsch
just realised the white birch song i so love, satellite, is not on the cd
bugger, but well, it seems good enough anyway
take care
see ya
vitamin C
days worth nothing pass by
no one calls
i've been watching some bad comedy to pass time
Anchorman - bad
The Incredibles - so-so
American Pie presents Band Camp - sucked immensly
tried to play some guitar, but i just get annoyed at the bad sounding Yamaha
i used to think such a thing to be a tragedy
but i would actually have more fun going to work
then i guess, not in this state, when nothing is really any fun
my head hurts slightly, i feel winded, warm, my joints ache
thinking is hard, i can't concentrate
all i want is to sleep, but somehow also to stupidly enjoy this time, watching movies etc.
doesn't work
will go work tomorrow, no matter
got to prepare for next week, giving a talk
today, at least something positive
a mailman forced a package through the mail slot
containing three cds
one of them in a broken cover
ungently handled during shipping
The White Birch . Star is just a sun
Mi and L'Au . Mi and L'Au
Regina Spektor . Soviet Kitsch
just realised the white birch song i so love, satellite, is not on the cd
bugger, but well, it seems good enough anyway
take care
see ya
Duritz
We spend all day getting sober
just hiding from daylight
watching tv
just look a lot better in the blue light
-
i am color blind
coffee black
and egg white
pull me out from inside
i am ready
i am fine
-
we couldn't all be cowboys
so some of us are clowns
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