I am feeling faint. My heartbeats seem to big for my body. Light and large, like batting wings of a big butterfly. If I stand still I can feel how each beat is swaying my body back and forth. Like a flag pole without a flag. As I gaze out to the parking lot, the sky above is steel gray. Somewhere there must be a sun shining. I can see a tiny star, reflected cautiously in the red varnish of a delivery van.