So what does one do? Well, nothing really. Least not in my case. It is just a matter of letting it wash over you and then get back on your feet as the wave rolls back into that vast indifferent ocean. I'm sure various medicaments could counteract the feeling, but I fear those much more than I fear the depression. What you should not do though, is grab hold of anything you encounter inside that darkness and carry it with you as day breaks. Nightmares should be allowed to fade.
A rat's nest
I had some sort of emotional breakdown this weekend, feeling like I was running on fumes. All the cognitive defences seemed to have crumbled and left me quite unprotected from all the (old) demons of self-doubt and melancholy. It was a terrifying and sobering experience which reminded me of how things used to be. Before, years ago now, this wouldn't have such an unusual experience, but now what I took away from it was just the realisation of all the water that's passed since I was in this place. Apparently I am more stable now than I was then. But just as apparently, no matter how many miles of asphalt you cross, it's hard to escape yourself.
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