Tonight we watched an Oliverstone movie, talk radio. And I went through a bottle of Chianti. Very good wine. But of course, now I am a bit drunk.
Also today, I cooked a nice chili, my old chick-pea chili, but I added red beans. Need to keep those proteins coming, or so every non-vegetarian keeps reminding me. Of course, they would know, having studied all that nutrition. The chili turned out great, spicy with spanish yellow peppers to rock and roll.
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I have been thinking more about the anonymity/honesty situation, and here's where I'm at right now: What if I just start to break as many barriers as Í can and as soon as anyone feels exposed, betrayed or otherwhise, just let me know and I'll erase all the records. burn all the bridges and retract all the lies I have spread.
Does that sound allright?
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A night
As I walked through the door yesterday, my flatmates were still drunk. I say still, cause I met them in the morning as I got up to go to work, and they were drinking wine out of the bottle, smiling and moving unsteadily. Not soon after my return I was presented with a drink. It was a mix of coffee, ice, icecream, absinth and soy milk. I didn't finish it. Instead I cooked a pasta of tomatoes, spring onions, garlic and almonds.
Throughout the evening I sat around and listened to people talk. I am not very talkative myself, but I enjoy listening. So many people have so many stories. Later on, before going to bed,
I took some pictures. You didn't hear it from me, but there may have been nudity. There may have been boys kissing. Oh, don't worry, it's not as weird as it sounds.
Throughout the evening I sat around and listened to people talk. I am not very talkative myself, but I enjoy listening. So many people have so many stories. Later on, before going to bed,
I took some pictures. You didn't hear it from me, but there may have been nudity. There may have been boys kissing. Oh, don't worry, it's not as weird as it sounds.
Birth month
"No shadow
No stars
No moon
No cars
November
It only believes
In a pile of dead leaves
And a moon
That's the color of bone
No prayers for November
To linger longer
Stick your spoon in the wall
We'll slaughter them all
November has tied me
To an old dead tree
Get word to April
To rescue me
November's cold chain
Made of wet boots and rain
And shiny black ravens
On chimney smoke lanes
November seems odd
You're my firing squad
November
With my hair slicked back
With carrion shellac
With the blood from a pheasant
And the bone from a hare
Tied to the branches
Of a roebuck stag
Left to wave in the timber
Like a buck shot flag
Go away you rainsnout
Go away, blow your brains out"
Another Tom Waits Song
New light
A few nights ago, as I was waiting for a friend at a bus stop, I felt as though I could be anyone. All the people walking around me, didn't know me, wouldn't know me, and I was a complete stranger to all of them. The light and warmth from late afternoon sun enhanced the feeling of being expatriated, somewhere else, lost. A warm city smells different. I like being anonymous, ignored or met with curiosity. New. Fresh. It's a big city feeling and I rarely get it in Uppsala.
Now since I did, I felt even more - paradoxically - at home.
-
Speaking of anonymity, the thought occurred to me to start blogging anonymously. Loosen the shackles and inhibitions caused the possible reviews of employers, family, etc. Complete freedom of expression.
Completely naked.
But wearing a mask.
Now since I did, I felt even more - paradoxically - at home.
-
Speaking of anonymity, the thought occurred to me to start blogging anonymously. Loosen the shackles and inhibitions caused the possible reviews of employers, family, etc. Complete freedom of expression.
Completely naked.
But wearing a mask.
I need medication
Oh, yes. I am still alive.
But it's summer now, I've been moving around and also my router at home broke down so I am reduced to sneaky workstation surfing.
I have been thinking about writing for a while. I feel some sort of obligation to provide my handful of reading friends with info. But at the same time, I just had some sort of realisation of the annoying sides of blogging. Feeling the pressure to write. Meeting so many experiences with the attitude "I have to remember how to word this" or "cant I blog about this? Is it too boring an experience? Too personal?", etc. Some blogs I look over seem too ambitious, and some are to much of a showcase of personal exploits. I dunno.
But at the end of the day, I like to write and have a need to practice and vent. What the end result may be, we'll see.
-
Summer is rushing past. It's warm and beautiful and I feel (as usual) that I am not managing to enjoy it as much as possible. I am not optimised.
My two weeks of vacation ended three days ago. During that fortnight I travelled 3600km, saw lots of bands, elks, friends, an completely failed to relax. I would've liked the opportunity to get bored, understimulated, etc.
I went to the musicfestival in Arvika, where I saw The Knife, Tiger Lou, Kaizers Orchestra, Midaircondo, Sophie Rimheden, Teddybears Sthlm, Firefox AK, Suburban Kids..., Thåström, Franz Ferdinand, a bunch of Synth that I didnt really get and probably a few guys I forgot to mention.
Tiger Lou and the Knife ruled. Midaircondo was epic. Kaizers were great. The rest - eeh.
Back in _Norrland I went for a biketrip with some friends. We did an all day tour of the High Coast Albion of Nordingrå. Great company, great food, and a phenomenal feeling of endorfin-fuelled happiness. Shame it didn't last longer.
Now that I am back I am overcome with a dull stress and a restless loneliness. I have that old familiar feeling of being pushed ahead through time, as though tied to the front of a runaway train. It is a complete loss of control over my own destiny, and usually results in desperate measures such as sleeping in even though I don't enjoy it, drinking, loss of apetite; basically no energy.
Yesterday I went around town and to a movie with AZ. We saw "Le temps qui reste" which was beautiful and sad and didn't have a message. That is a good thing about a movie, in case you wondered. No messages. No morals. No Hollywood.
I'll be back in a while with more about nothing. Now I will go home. And then to the Girl to watch a movie.
I hope you are ok.
But it's summer now, I've been moving around and also my router at home broke down so I am reduced to sneaky workstation surfing.
I have been thinking about writing for a while. I feel some sort of obligation to provide my handful of reading friends with info. But at the same time, I just had some sort of realisation of the annoying sides of blogging. Feeling the pressure to write. Meeting so many experiences with the attitude "I have to remember how to word this" or "cant I blog about this? Is it too boring an experience? Too personal?", etc. Some blogs I look over seem too ambitious, and some are to much of a showcase of personal exploits. I dunno.
But at the end of the day, I like to write and have a need to practice and vent. What the end result may be, we'll see.
-
Summer is rushing past. It's warm and beautiful and I feel (as usual) that I am not managing to enjoy it as much as possible. I am not optimised.
My two weeks of vacation ended three days ago. During that fortnight I travelled 3600km, saw lots of bands, elks, friends, an completely failed to relax. I would've liked the opportunity to get bored, understimulated, etc.
I went to the musicfestival in Arvika, where I saw The Knife, Tiger Lou, Kaizers Orchestra, Midaircondo, Sophie Rimheden, Teddybears Sthlm, Firefox AK, Suburban Kids..., Thåström, Franz Ferdinand, a bunch of Synth that I didnt really get and probably a few guys I forgot to mention.
Tiger Lou and the Knife ruled. Midaircondo was epic. Kaizers were great. The rest - eeh.
Back in _Norrland I went for a biketrip with some friends. We did an all day tour of the High Coast Albion of Nordingrå. Great company, great food, and a phenomenal feeling of endorfin-fuelled happiness. Shame it didn't last longer.
Now that I am back I am overcome with a dull stress and a restless loneliness. I have that old familiar feeling of being pushed ahead through time, as though tied to the front of a runaway train. It is a complete loss of control over my own destiny, and usually results in desperate measures such as sleeping in even though I don't enjoy it, drinking, loss of apetite; basically no energy.
Yesterday I went around town and to a movie with AZ. We saw "Le temps qui reste" which was beautiful and sad and didn't have a message. That is a good thing about a movie, in case you wondered. No messages. No morals. No Hollywood.
I'll be back in a while with more about nothing. Now I will go home. And then to the Girl to watch a movie.
I hope you are ok.
Maybe?
Firefox AK (se) >>
Franz Ferdinand (uk) >>
Hello Saferide (se) >>
Jenny Wilson (se) >>
Juno Reactor (uk) >>
Kaizers Orchestra (no) >>
Laleh (se) >>
Midaircondo (se) >>
Sophie Rimheden (se) >>
Teddybears STHLM (se) >>
The Knife (se) >>
Tiger Lou (se) >>
Franz Ferdinand (uk) >>
Hello Saferide (se) >>
Jenny Wilson (se) >>
Juno Reactor (uk) >>
Kaizers Orchestra (no) >>
Laleh (se) >>
Midaircondo (se) >>
Sophie Rimheden (se) >>
Teddybears STHLM (se) >>
The Knife (se) >>
Tiger Lou (se) >>
Who writes these days?
Weather's to great to do anything work-related. But I have to. At least the weekend was as lazy as summer should be.
I brought my juggling balls to work, thinking they would offer a mental break now and then.
Regina sings:
I brought my juggling balls to work, thinking they would offer a mental break now and then.
Regina sings:
"he was perfect except for the fact that he was an engineer "Now to this first long day of this last long week before I _______ break ______free
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