the decision to go had been taken long ago. it was one of those times when i was thinking my clearest on my feet. in mid-discussion, a dynamic dialogue like a road-trip along new roads in your home county, my answer to what i would do if she left came within a moments reflection.
- i'd have to leave. i'd go to new york.
the statement left me looking out at my future with the sense of having left childhood and innocence. i was sitting in a life-boat made of my only real dream, watching my world sink.
that was 3 years ago. she left only a year later. new york carried me around for a few years, and for a while i thought things were gonna be ok for me. but now i am standing in carrisa, with a gun in my bag, knowing that if someone picks me up and recognises me, i will most likely have to kill them.
