I know if I should live one hundred years
I'ld never see another face like yours
On stranger seas or brighter shores
Cos I know
That my love is real
Check out davidgray.com.
Drunk on sleep
I keep listening over and over to the same songs.
Check out davidgray.com.
Check out davidgray.com.
Will you be my dance partner?
This weekend I went to a ball, yeah a proper one with ballroom dancing and all that jazz. Of course, I'm a lot to shy and don't feel comfortable at all on such a dance floor, so I spent my time chatting and drinking. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. First of all, the Ball was the Norrland Nation Autumn Feast, held traditionally every year, and I was invited in my capacity of Nation Photographer. Basically, there was a long dinner (4-5 hrs) including various speeches, entertainments and singing. No doucht about it, the food was great, the wine was good, and the entertainment was for the most part excellent. Since I consider myself somewhat of a shy person, these kinds of events always fill me with a little dread. Walking around a room, with a bunch of semi-strangers, people that I may recognise, and that recognise me, but whom I feel no kinship with, no confidence in, no love for. Thankfully, I could spend some of my time running around with my camera and feeling that I had a great excuse not to talk to strangers. And then of course, I eventually loosen up and stumble into conversation with people. Met some nice Fins, and we spoke about the importance of Quality, and Experience, things that I feel might be underrated more and more these days. Then I chatted with a true Norrlänning (in spite of the nation title, not all members are from the Motherland up north) instead of dancing (see above, dancing scares me), which was nice. Harcore students stay on to the second dinner, which starts at 2:00 am, with a somewhat less pretentious menu; Pytt i Panna, which is a swedish dish consisting of diced onions, potatoes, sausage, and some other veg like perhaps carrots; anyway all diced and fried together. Sometimes served with a fried egg on top. However, I am not hardcore anymore, so I walked home, escorting a lady on my way (trying to be the gentleman I want to be).
Hmm. I guess I'll post a link when the pictures have been uploaded.
Cha!
Hmm. I guess I'll post a link when the pictures have been uploaded.
Cha!
The animals were gone
The new Damien Rice album may be slightly uneven. But at the same time, it is partially demonic in its ability to pierce my heart when I listen. For some wonderful reason Damien has chosen to spend quite some time in front of the piano, and many of the songs are more piano-based than guitar based. The album is more introspective, more sad in some places than "O", and more a solo-album than "O", where the band played a great part in the sound of the recording. On "9", mr Rice plays several of the songs completely solo, and this simplicity and rawness makes it all the more worthwhile in the current musical climate. An example is Elephant, where the album version seems even more stripped down than some of the live recordings I've come across. The listener is left with only a guitar and Damiens voice to lean on. Another lovely little detail is that the first song on the album starts with Lisa singing. Even though her presence is not very pronounced on the album as a whole. And last but not least, the lyrics are fresh, Damien finds some new metaphores that have not been written in neon just yet, and writes a world of wood and woodys - of accidental songs and accidental babies.
Somehow I connect Damien to Tiger Lou. Maybe because they're both male, young, solo artists. OR maybe because they're both talanted to the point of genious, phenomenal songwriters who keep things simple and still new. I mean, their music isn't much alike.
Well. just hear it, ok?
Flash Gordon out.
Somehow I connect Damien to Tiger Lou. Maybe because they're both male, young, solo artists. OR maybe because they're both talanted to the point of genious, phenomenal songwriters who keep things simple and still new. I mean, their music isn't much alike.
Well. just hear it, ok?
Flash Gordon out.
A long day's journey into night
"Who want to see life as it really is, if it can be avoided?"
Beatifully sparse decor. Good acting. Some humor, lots of darkness.
Beatifully sparse decor. Good acting. Some humor, lots of darkness.
Mary Chrismas
Logistical information.
I will go uppa north on the 21st of december by train. I will be staying, as far as I know, for the entire time in my parents house on the Horny Island. It seems at this point most likely that I will be staying up there until the 1st Jan, when I will descend upon Uppsala yet again.
Party?
People!
I will go uppa north on the 21st of december by train. I will be staying, as far as I know, for the entire time in my parents house on the Horny Island. It seems at this point most likely that I will be staying up there until the 1st Jan, when I will descend upon Uppsala yet again.
Party?
People!
Musical parapsychology
1. How are you feeling today?
G.U.B.N.U.F. - Bugge Wesseltoft
2. Will you get far in life?
Marco Polo - Loreena McKennitt
3. How do your friends see you?
Goodnight song - Tears For Fears
4. Will you get married?
You gonna need my help - Muddy Waters
5. What is your life's theme song?
Eminem Freestyle (over WW3 Beat)
6. What is the story of your life?
Working Girl - Jeff Harms
7. What was high school like?
Little Earthquakes (live) - Tori Amos
8. How can you get ahead in life?
Interlude - Muse
9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
the Optimist - Turin Brakes
10. What is the best thing about your friends?
Could Well be in - The Streets
11. What is in store for the next weekend?
Dogs - Pink Floyd
12. What song best describes you?
Cradle and All - Ani Difranco
13. How is your life going?
Hold on - Lou reed
14. What song will play at your funeral?
Hell is round the corner - Tricky (hahaha, didn't cheat, I swear!)
15. How does the world see you?
The one you love - Rufus wainwright
16. Will you have a happy life?
Nixon - Tiger Lou
17. What do your friends really think of you?
time and time again - counting crows
18. What song describes the person you're attracted to?
gratitude - ani difranco
19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
Second intermission -Ani difranco
20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
Singles party - Greyboy
21. Do people secretly lust after me?
Horses in my dreams - PJ harvey
22. How can I make myself happy?
could well be in - the streets
23. Will I ever have children?
I got you under my skin - Diana Krall
24. What's some good advice for me?
Mr Moon - Jamiroquai
25. How will I be remembered?
No way - Pearl Jam
26. What is my signature dance song?
Wonderwall - Radiohead making fun of oasis
G.U.B.N.U.F. - Bugge Wesseltoft
2. Will you get far in life?
Marco Polo - Loreena McKennitt
3. How do your friends see you?
Goodnight song - Tears For Fears
4. Will you get married?
You gonna need my help - Muddy Waters
5. What is your life's theme song?
Eminem Freestyle (over WW3 Beat)
6. What is the story of your life?
Working Girl - Jeff Harms
7. What was high school like?
Little Earthquakes (live) - Tori Amos
8. How can you get ahead in life?
Interlude - Muse
9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
the Optimist - Turin Brakes
10. What is the best thing about your friends?
Could Well be in - The Streets
11. What is in store for the next weekend?
Dogs - Pink Floyd
12. What song best describes you?
Cradle and All - Ani Difranco
13. How is your life going?
Hold on - Lou reed
14. What song will play at your funeral?
Hell is round the corner - Tricky (hahaha, didn't cheat, I swear!)
15. How does the world see you?
The one you love - Rufus wainwright
16. Will you have a happy life?
Nixon - Tiger Lou
17. What do your friends really think of you?
time and time again - counting crows
18. What song describes the person you're attracted to?
gratitude - ani difranco
19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
Second intermission -Ani difranco
20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
Singles party - Greyboy
21. Do people secretly lust after me?
Horses in my dreams - PJ harvey
22. How can I make myself happy?
could well be in - the streets
23. Will I ever have children?
I got you under my skin - Diana Krall
24. What's some good advice for me?
Mr Moon - Jamiroquai
25. How will I be remembered?
No way - Pearl Jam
26. What is my signature dance song?
Wonderwall - Radiohead making fun of oasis
So cheap and juicy
Friends,
i had an exam today. Oh, wow, it always feels so good afterwards. Such a liberation. I am really really tired now, and I wont stay up late tonight. Please have oversight of all the spelling errors that might be caised by myu mentalstate.
--
O, and heres some more good news. I have got 7 fresh albums in my room. Yesterday I finally went and bought the new Regina Spektor. Begin to hope. And so, when I got home I had a little notice from Amazon.com on muy floor. A beautiful little order containing ;
Ani Difranco - Reprieve 2006
Ani Difranco - Live at carnegie hall official vootleg.
Kaki king - Everybody loves you
Kaki king - Legs to make us longer
Lilium - Transmissions of all the goodbyes
Lilium - Short stories
-
And what to say? Ani has done it again. That is, another wonderful and beautiful reason not to just download an album. The fiber paper digipack with a textured print is really nice. Let's see what the contents of the cd are. But I don't expect anything extravagant. She seems set in her same way for the last three albums, and this one sounds a lot like them. Am more anticipative of the live one. I think it may be great.
Then there's the all new kaki king. I really have only listened to a few songs, and also she's an all instrumental gal on these, her first two, albums. I am often looking for something new, something just slightly different, and her guitar-vituosity may well be something of a vitamin injection into my musical life.
And then the lilium records. Short stories I've listened intensely to for a while. It is, hands down, one in the 20 best albums I've ever heard. Much thanks to it's eclectic style, using different singers and lyricists for many of the songs, mixing languages, and a very very beautiful studio work and instrumentation. Their first albym, Transmissions of.. seems to be an all instrumental piece. Shame, but whos to say it isnt great anyway.
-
And Begin to hope, by Regina Spektor. Well, it's hardly as blow you away great as Soviet Kitsch, but shes got a lovely voice, and a quirky diction that works. And works well.
So far, I especially like the bluesy Lady and the longing and sad Summer.
-
Well. Thats me signing off
gnight
i had an exam today. Oh, wow, it always feels so good afterwards. Such a liberation. I am really really tired now, and I wont stay up late tonight. Please have oversight of all the spelling errors that might be caised by myu mentalstate.
--
O, and heres some more good news. I have got 7 fresh albums in my room. Yesterday I finally went and bought the new Regina Spektor. Begin to hope. And so, when I got home I had a little notice from Amazon.com on muy floor. A beautiful little order containing ;
Ani Difranco - Reprieve 2006
Ani Difranco - Live at carnegie hall official vootleg.
Kaki king - Everybody loves you
Kaki king - Legs to make us longer
Lilium - Transmissions of all the goodbyes
Lilium - Short stories
-
And what to say? Ani has done it again. That is, another wonderful and beautiful reason not to just download an album. The fiber paper digipack with a textured print is really nice. Let's see what the contents of the cd are. But I don't expect anything extravagant. She seems set in her same way for the last three albums, and this one sounds a lot like them. Am more anticipative of the live one. I think it may be great.
Then there's the all new kaki king. I really have only listened to a few songs, and also she's an all instrumental gal on these, her first two, albums. I am often looking for something new, something just slightly different, and her guitar-vituosity may well be something of a vitamin injection into my musical life.
And then the lilium records. Short stories I've listened intensely to for a while. It is, hands down, one in the 20 best albums I've ever heard. Much thanks to it's eclectic style, using different singers and lyricists for many of the songs, mixing languages, and a very very beautiful studio work and instrumentation. Their first albym, Transmissions of.. seems to be an all instrumental piece. Shame, but whos to say it isnt great anyway.
-
And Begin to hope, by Regina Spektor. Well, it's hardly as blow you away great as Soviet Kitsch, but shes got a lovely voice, and a quirky diction that works. And works well.
So far, I especially like the bluesy Lady and the longing and sad Summer.
-
Well. Thats me signing off
gnight
Heard about it through the semicrystalline poly-iso-butylene
New pictures up on flickr.
--
Still working hard so no real updates going on for the site or other sh**t.
--
I am going to Gothenburg on the 19th and staying til the 22nd, so holler if you want me!
-
Wowsa, I am so totally stressed out. I think I may crash and burn on these courses I'm taking. But then again, so far everything I've ever done has proven to be easier than expected and why should this be any different. And on the other hand, if I should fail these courses it'll be a new and probably fruitful experience.
-
Sadly, the stress is always a good catalyst for ideas. My photographic creativity is bubbling under the surface but there is no time to let it burst out.
Other plans include a website, music, and bowling.
-
A lot more than a 1000 words
Pictures from latest shenanigans:
- Evening
- Samarret
Other that photoing, I'm working my already skimpy little ass off with courses in Physics of Semiconductor Devices, Polymer Mechanics and The Art of Measurement.
So you can imagine I don't really have a lot of time left to be writing on this little page.
-
FYI, I am coming/going home to Örnsköldsvik this weekend. Gie me a shout if you wish to frollic.
Until next time
Wow me
- Evening
- Samarret
Other that photoing, I'm working my already skimpy little ass off with courses in Physics of Semiconductor Devices, Polymer Mechanics and The Art of Measurement.
So you can imagine I don't really have a lot of time left to be writing on this little page.
-
FYI, I am coming/going home to Örnsköldsvik this weekend. Gie me a shout if you wish to frollic.
Until next time
Wow me
Ils disent qu'elle est trop belle pour moi
Parfois quand on se voit
Semblant que c'est pas exprès
Avec ses yeux mouillants
Elle dit qu'elle partira
Elle dit qu'elle me suivra
Alors pour un instant
Pour un instant seulement
Alors moi je la crois Monsieur
Pour un instant
Pour un instant seulement
Qué and A
LAST PERSON:
1. Slept in your bed besides you? Harry
2. Whos bed you slept in? Harrys
3. Saw you cry? Harry (this is getting monotonous, ney?)
4. You saw a movie with? Harry (I aint kiddin man)
5. You went to the mall with? hmm, mall.. well that would be Karin in Dresden
6. You went to dinner with? My entire deparment tonight...
7. You talked on the phone with? According to my mobile: Dani
8. Broke your heart? wow, thats a good question.. CP probably, if we're talking properly broken
9. Made you laugh? Well, I must've laughed tonigt.. Ulf?
WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Tongue
2. Be serious or be funny? Nothing is serious, so funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? whole fat milk fo real
4. Die in a fire or drown? No way in hellsinki would I choose to burn, so drown i guess
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Wats rong wid parents? I like mine. I squish my enemies like chestnuts on the sidewalk.
ARE YOU..
1. Simple or complicated? simple, but no one would ever guess..
2. Gay? Nay!
3. Hardcore? We are all soft and pulpy. Ask any surgeon. Peaches are hardcore.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!
1. Do you like anyone? WtF mate? Take a big whopping guess when you read through the preceding lines.
2. Do they know it? She better know it..
DO YOU PREFER...
1. Sun or moon? sun
2. Winter or Fall? good question, seasons are there for their relative excellence... the beauty is in the variations.. fall is beautiful though
3. Left or right? well, left i guess, I'm a little gauche..
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? 2 best friends. thats the way I work. acquaintances are murals on the walls of life.
5. Sun or rain? sun, again, you twatt
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? VAnilla Ice dude
ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it? 01:29
2. Name? P to the O to the W-E-S. Well actually it's Per Oskar
3. Nickname(s): P-O, that's about it. No one ever managed to give me a nick that stuck. Well, maybe the Pimp. The Tapdancingpimp.
4. Where were you born? Ornskoldsvik.
5. What is your birthdate? Guy Fawkes night
6. What do you want? just Her and Time
7. Where do you want to live? in the ocean, on a mountain, by the beach
8. How many kids do you want? dunno. one?
9. You want to get married? don't really care.. its a formality
UNIQUE!
1. Nervous Habits: bite nails, drumming hands,
2. Can you roll your tongue? yup
3. Can you raise one eyebrow? fink so
4. Can you cross your eyes? ja
5. Do you make your bed daily? nope
6. Which shoe goes on first? rrrrrright
7. Ever thrown one at someone? a shoe? no
8. On average, how much money do you carry with you? I would say 100 SEK ~10€
9. What jewelry do you wear? one piece of eyebrow piercing
OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? I like my spaghetti like I like my women..
3. Favorite ice cream: whichever is closest to my mouth
4. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? two?
5. Do you cook? Does the Pope shit in the woods?
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)
1. Had sex: yes
2. Bought somthing you didn't need: oh yeah
3. Kissed someone: yes!
4. Sang in front of people: yes, both solo and in a comforting mass
5. Been hugged: :D
6. Felt stupid: every day
7. Missed someone: yes!!
8. Got drunk: right now
9. Got high: no
10. Danced Crazy: not sure, no I guess
11. Gotten your hair cut: no
12. Cried: just a little
13. Lied: no big ones.. maybe tried to impress some coworkers?
1. Slept in your bed besides you? Harry
2. Whos bed you slept in? Harrys
3. Saw you cry? Harry (this is getting monotonous, ney?)
4. You saw a movie with? Harry (I aint kiddin man)
5. You went to the mall with? hmm, mall.. well that would be Karin in Dresden
6. You went to dinner with? My entire deparment tonight...
7. You talked on the phone with? According to my mobile: Dani
8. Broke your heart? wow, thats a good question.. CP probably, if we're talking properly broken
9. Made you laugh? Well, I must've laughed tonigt.. Ulf?
WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Tongue
2. Be serious or be funny? Nothing is serious, so funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? whole fat milk fo real
4. Die in a fire or drown? No way in hellsinki would I choose to burn, so drown i guess
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Wats rong wid parents? I like mine. I squish my enemies like chestnuts on the sidewalk.
ARE YOU..
1. Simple or complicated? simple, but no one would ever guess..
2. Gay? Nay!
3. Hardcore? We are all soft and pulpy. Ask any surgeon. Peaches are hardcore.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!
1. Do you like anyone? WtF mate? Take a big whopping guess when you read through the preceding lines.
2. Do they know it? She better know it..
DO YOU PREFER...
1. Sun or moon? sun
2. Winter or Fall? good question, seasons are there for their relative excellence... the beauty is in the variations.. fall is beautiful though
3. Left or right? well, left i guess, I'm a little gauche..
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? 2 best friends. thats the way I work. acquaintances are murals on the walls of life.
5. Sun or rain? sun, again, you twatt
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? VAnilla Ice dude
ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it? 01:29
2. Name? P to the O to the W-E-S. Well actually it's Per Oskar
3. Nickname(s): P-O, that's about it. No one ever managed to give me a nick that stuck. Well, maybe the Pimp. The Tapdancingpimp.
4. Where were you born? Ornskoldsvik.
5. What is your birthdate? Guy Fawkes night
6. What do you want? just Her and Time
7. Where do you want to live? in the ocean, on a mountain, by the beach
8. How many kids do you want? dunno. one?
9. You want to get married? don't really care.. its a formality
UNIQUE!
1. Nervous Habits: bite nails, drumming hands,
2. Can you roll your tongue? yup
3. Can you raise one eyebrow? fink so
4. Can you cross your eyes? ja
5. Do you make your bed daily? nope
6. Which shoe goes on first? rrrrrright
7. Ever thrown one at someone? a shoe? no
8. On average, how much money do you carry with you? I would say 100 SEK ~10€
9. What jewelry do you wear? one piece of eyebrow piercing
OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? I like my spaghetti like I like my women..
3. Favorite ice cream: whichever is closest to my mouth
4. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? two?
5. Do you cook? Does the Pope shit in the woods?
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)
1. Had sex: yes
2. Bought somthing you didn't need: oh yeah
3. Kissed someone: yes!
4. Sang in front of people: yes, both solo and in a comforting mass
5. Been hugged: :D
6. Felt stupid: every day
7. Missed someone: yes!!
8. Got drunk: right now
9. Got high: no
10. Danced Crazy: not sure, no I guess
11. Gotten your hair cut: no
12. Cried: just a little
13. Lied: no big ones.. maybe tried to impress some coworkers?
I need a phone call. I need a rain coat.
Call me. Call me in the morning. Before I wake up. Before I am myself. Call me and whisper through the telephone into my dream. Whisper that you will meet me where I close my eyes. That you hands will hold me, catch me, kiss me, thrill me, as I fall ... asleep. Bash down reality for a warm slice of fantasy. You run through my veins, warm as any alcohol, sharp as cocain, soft as weed. Please carry me with you. When you go.
Absinthe make the heart grow fonder
This weeks café: Melinas
I've taken some classes in polymer mechanics this week, and for this I've been commuting back and forth to Stockholm. By happenstance and luck, I have a close friend living in Södermalm and I stayed there for one night, saving one commute and nurturing one of my dearest and closest relations.
Round the corner from her house is a small place called Melinas. A big basement café, with a few chairs and tables on the sidewalk for unseasonably warm september nights as yesterday. And what can I say. 20:- for a coffee and a bun - can you beat that? And in Stockholm no less! A friendly guy took my order and seemed happy as Larry althoigh the place was almost empty. Anyhoo, I didnt have my camere, so there is no photo, but I strongly recommend a visit if you are in the neighbourhood of Skanstull in Sthlm. Especially if your a bit short on cash and still feel like an espresso (15:-) or a coffee (10:-). I stayed outside this time, but the insides looked cosy enough. The only minus I could think of was the absense of cute waitresses.
-
It's when life gets you down you start seeing all the bad things. When pain steps in and shows you how it can be more than a signal, an indicator, that it can be a hypnotizing orb. A glowing sphere that pushes every thought, and every other feeling out of your head. In a sense it is also focussing. In that you can only hold on to one single thought at the time, in the space that is left next to the glowing light, and the humming tune, of physical pain. Your step changes. Your posture changes. Every person adressing you needs to get past the barrier of communication that is set by all the nerve signals that crowd around your concious, screaming for attention. Feel me. Rectify me.
Recently I experienced some of these things. I literally felt all my worries shrink, as a blinding, crippling pain washed over me and settled in my body. Compared to the immediate needs of the Body, the Mind and the Spirit are tiny little pot-bellied pigs, begging for their masters attention.
-
Some Real things have happened lately. Let's get though it. But first I gotta get a glass. And some rum.
-
Real thing 1.
I went to my first conference. Well, no that's not strictly true. I Actively Participated in my first conference as a Contributor. I presented my results on Damp Heat Degradation of CIGS solar cells in the 21st EUPVSEC in dresden on the 5th of september. It was a cool and eye-opening experience. I felt I got some good response and maybe some contacts from that little trip. At least I got a deck of business cards to play with.
Real thing 2.
This is - I mean I'm not sure to lable it Real, since it is a feeling, something highly subjective and internal. Like temperature. But here goes - I'm so in love. I've never felt like this for such a long time. I've had passionate butterflights across a pastel sky before, but they've only lasted enough time for me to take the strongest bat of wings as I hit some pavement of any european country. But now, I am positively flying. (And there, just this second, wings fluttered against my skin, because on this flight I not alone). I feel stronger than I have ever felt in a relationship, and still completely at the mercy of someone else. Baby, words will not ever be enough. As you said, all the pop song clichés hit me like a sermon. Or like Ani said
Real thing No 3
Have I told you already? Well repetition is the best path to learning. This school year I will be acting photographer for the Studen Nation of Norrland in Uppsala. That means documening the nation, it's activities and people. Going freee of charge to a bunch of nice dinners, taking picture, talking to a bunch of strangers and making friends. I am happy and anticipative.
Real thing no 4 - trivial as hell
I discovered a new alcohol. simple as it may seem, I just chanced - on some unspecified memory of an expressed preference by someone - on buying a bottle of brown rum. Aged like a whisky or cognac or anything. and I tell you, it goes down smooth. I know I'm in a dangerous area for alcohol abuse, but as I kind of like it here I will linger a little longer. Until I, or someone else, reacts on the state of things. So far, I am keeping in better shape than some people around me, and thats good enough for me.
Real Memory
"C is for cookie - that's good enough for me"
the one goes out to the Collective - Barcelona
I've taken some classes in polymer mechanics this week, and for this I've been commuting back and forth to Stockholm. By happenstance and luck, I have a close friend living in Södermalm and I stayed there for one night, saving one commute and nurturing one of my dearest and closest relations.
Round the corner from her house is a small place called Melinas. A big basement café, with a few chairs and tables on the sidewalk for unseasonably warm september nights as yesterday. And what can I say. 20:- for a coffee and a bun - can you beat that? And in Stockholm no less! A friendly guy took my order and seemed happy as Larry althoigh the place was almost empty. Anyhoo, I didnt have my camere, so there is no photo, but I strongly recommend a visit if you are in the neighbourhood of Skanstull in Sthlm. Especially if your a bit short on cash and still feel like an espresso (15:-) or a coffee (10:-). I stayed outside this time, but the insides looked cosy enough. The only minus I could think of was the absense of cute waitresses.
-
It's when life gets you down you start seeing all the bad things. When pain steps in and shows you how it can be more than a signal, an indicator, that it can be a hypnotizing orb. A glowing sphere that pushes every thought, and every other feeling out of your head. In a sense it is also focussing. In that you can only hold on to one single thought at the time, in the space that is left next to the glowing light, and the humming tune, of physical pain. Your step changes. Your posture changes. Every person adressing you needs to get past the barrier of communication that is set by all the nerve signals that crowd around your concious, screaming for attention. Feel me. Rectify me.
Recently I experienced some of these things. I literally felt all my worries shrink, as a blinding, crippling pain washed over me and settled in my body. Compared to the immediate needs of the Body, the Mind and the Spirit are tiny little pot-bellied pigs, begging for their masters attention.
-
Some Real things have happened lately. Let's get though it. But first I gotta get a glass. And some rum.
-
Real thing 1.
I went to my first conference. Well, no that's not strictly true. I Actively Participated in my first conference as a Contributor. I presented my results on Damp Heat Degradation of CIGS solar cells in the 21st EUPVSEC in dresden on the 5th of september. It was a cool and eye-opening experience. I felt I got some good response and maybe some contacts from that little trip. At least I got a deck of business cards to play with.
Real thing 2.
This is - I mean I'm not sure to lable it Real, since it is a feeling, something highly subjective and internal. Like temperature. But here goes - I'm so in love. I've never felt like this for such a long time. I've had passionate butterflights across a pastel sky before, but they've only lasted enough time for me to take the strongest bat of wings as I hit some pavement of any european country. But now, I am positively flying. (And there, just this second, wings fluttered against my skin, because on this flight I not alone). I feel stronger than I have ever felt in a relationship, and still completely at the mercy of someone else. Baby, words will not ever be enough. As you said, all the pop song clichés hit me like a sermon. Or like Ani said
"sleep walking through the all-nite drug store
baptized in fluorescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that things look different now
different in so many ways
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everbody else
if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could hurt me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i'm a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
and don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy
and it's my first time for this kind of thing
i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
but you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else"
Real thing No 3
Have I told you already? Well repetition is the best path to learning. This school year I will be acting photographer for the Studen Nation of Norrland in Uppsala. That means documening the nation, it's activities and people. Going freee of charge to a bunch of nice dinners, taking picture, talking to a bunch of strangers and making friends. I am happy and anticipative.
Real thing no 4 - trivial as hell
I discovered a new alcohol. simple as it may seem, I just chanced - on some unspecified memory of an expressed preference by someone - on buying a bottle of brown rum. Aged like a whisky or cognac or anything. and I tell you, it goes down smooth. I know I'm in a dangerous area for alcohol abuse, but as I kind of like it here I will linger a little longer. Until I, or someone else, reacts on the state of things. So far, I am keeping in better shape than some people around me, and thats good enough for me.
Real Memory
"C is for cookie - that's good enough for me"
the one goes out to the Collective - Barcelona
Introspective exhibitionism
FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. baker
2. postman
3. fish-gutter
4. researcher
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. the big lebowski
2. a fish called wanda
3. dumb and dumber
4. fear and loathing in las vegas
FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1. barcelona
2. nancy
3. uppsala
4. luleå
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. family guy
2. south park
3. top model
4. scrubs
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. tangiers
2. glasgow
3. galway
4. rome
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. wikipedia.org
2. dn.se
3. www.itsmorelikejustadance.blogspot.com
4. and i'm tryin to start visiting myspace.com
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. pizza
2. beans on toast à la me
3. pasta with pesto and cottage cheese
4. cheese
FOUR SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED
1. Luleå University of Technology
2. Universitat Politecnica de Catalunya
3. Ecole Europeenne d'Ingenieurs en Genie des Materiaux
4. Uppsala University
FOUR THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:
1. iBook
2. tripod
3. cds
4. my lovely bed
FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. haglöfs pants
2. plaid shirt a la brokeback mountain
3. (four things eh?) sandals
4. glasses
FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. in my bed.
2. in Röjnoret in bed
3. in Nordingrå in bed
4. in Barcelona off my tits
1. baker
2. postman
3. fish-gutter
4. researcher
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. the big lebowski
2. a fish called wanda
3. dumb and dumber
4. fear and loathing in las vegas
FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1. barcelona
2. nancy
3. uppsala
4. luleå
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. family guy
2. south park
3. top model
4. scrubs
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. tangiers
2. glasgow
3. galway
4. rome
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. wikipedia.org
2. dn.se
3. www.itsmorelikejustadance.blogspot.com
4. and i'm tryin to start visiting myspace.com
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. pizza
2. beans on toast à la me
3. pasta with pesto and cottage cheese
4. cheese
FOUR SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED
1. Luleå University of Technology
2. Universitat Politecnica de Catalunya
3. Ecole Europeenne d'Ingenieurs en Genie des Materiaux
4. Uppsala University
FOUR THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:
1. iBook
2. tripod
3. cds
4. my lovely bed
FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. haglöfs pants
2. plaid shirt a la brokeback mountain
3. (four things eh?) sandals
4. glasses
FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. in my bed.
2. in Röjnoret in bed
3. in Nordingrå in bed
4. in Barcelona off my tits
Internet Explorer Blows (doesn't it?)
If you're not seeing this OK, try using a decent browser or wait a couple of days while I clean up the code.
-=The Coffee House Episodes=-
it's 2:oo am on a sunday morning.
-
i am messing about with the layout again.
we'll see where it ends
up
-
one of the episodes in my life that I keep coming back to
is when I was in France, and I was starting to feel better about most everything in life
two things were there to say hello to me
in this emergency
were a close friend
and cafés.
I'd do what I thought was artsy, and go along to different places
and sit around and read or write, usually both,
and a warm feeling began to envelope me.
My friend did very much the same, and occasionally we'd meet up in the same place
or talk about which places were nicest.
The waitresses naturally became an important factor to consider when chosing the place, and there is one particular place that stands out, café Les Artistes, where one of the waitresses actually became rather friendly with both of us.
Anyway, my point is, I really took a liking to places where nice girls gave me good coffee. And now I will make an effort to find the best place(s) in Uppsala to provide this.
-
i am messing about with the layout again.
we'll see where it ends
up
-
one of the episodes in my life that I keep coming back to
is when I was in France, and I was starting to feel better about most everything in life
two things were there to say hello to me
in this emergency
were a close friend
and cafés.
I'd do what I thought was artsy, and go along to different places
and sit around and read or write, usually both,
and a warm feeling began to envelope me.
My friend did very much the same, and occasionally we'd meet up in the same place
or talk about which places were nicest.
The waitresses naturally became an important factor to consider when chosing the place, and there is one particular place that stands out, café Les Artistes, where one of the waitresses actually became rather friendly with both of us.
Anyway, my point is, I really took a liking to places where nice girls gave me good coffee. And now I will make an effort to find the best place(s) in Uppsala to provide this.
Agree with the idiots about everything, and smile.
Tonight we watched an Oliverstone movie, talk radio. And I went through a bottle of Chianti. Very good wine. But of course, now I am a bit drunk.
Also today, I cooked a nice chili, my old chick-pea chili, but I added red beans. Need to keep those proteins coming, or so every non-vegetarian keeps reminding me. Of course, they would know, having studied all that nutrition. The chili turned out great, spicy with spanish yellow peppers to rock and roll.
-
I have been thinking more about the anonymity/honesty situation, and here's where I'm at right now: What if I just start to break as many barriers as Í can and as soon as anyone feels exposed, betrayed or otherwhise, just let me know and I'll erase all the records. burn all the bridges and retract all the lies I have spread.
Does that sound allright?
-
Also today, I cooked a nice chili, my old chick-pea chili, but I added red beans. Need to keep those proteins coming, or so every non-vegetarian keeps reminding me. Of course, they would know, having studied all that nutrition. The chili turned out great, spicy with spanish yellow peppers to rock and roll.
-
I have been thinking more about the anonymity/honesty situation, and here's where I'm at right now: What if I just start to break as many barriers as Í can and as soon as anyone feels exposed, betrayed or otherwhise, just let me know and I'll erase all the records. burn all the bridges and retract all the lies I have spread.
Does that sound allright?
-
A night
As I walked through the door yesterday, my flatmates were still drunk. I say still, cause I met them in the morning as I got up to go to work, and they were drinking wine out of the bottle, smiling and moving unsteadily. Not soon after my return I was presented with a drink. It was a mix of coffee, ice, icecream, absinth and soy milk. I didn't finish it. Instead I cooked a pasta of tomatoes, spring onions, garlic and almonds.
Throughout the evening I sat around and listened to people talk. I am not very talkative myself, but I enjoy listening. So many people have so many stories. Later on, before going to bed,
I took some pictures. You didn't hear it from me, but there may have been nudity. There may have been boys kissing. Oh, don't worry, it's not as weird as it sounds.
Throughout the evening I sat around and listened to people talk. I am not very talkative myself, but I enjoy listening. So many people have so many stories. Later on, before going to bed,
I took some pictures. You didn't hear it from me, but there may have been nudity. There may have been boys kissing. Oh, don't worry, it's not as weird as it sounds.
Birth month
"No shadow
No stars
No moon
No cars
November
It only believes
In a pile of dead leaves
And a moon
That's the color of bone
No prayers for November
To linger longer
Stick your spoon in the wall
We'll slaughter them all
November has tied me
To an old dead tree
Get word to April
To rescue me
November's cold chain
Made of wet boots and rain
And shiny black ravens
On chimney smoke lanes
November seems odd
You're my firing squad
November
With my hair slicked back
With carrion shellac
With the blood from a pheasant
And the bone from a hare
Tied to the branches
Of a roebuck stag
Left to wave in the timber
Like a buck shot flag
Go away you rainsnout
Go away, blow your brains out"
Another Tom Waits Song
New light
A few nights ago, as I was waiting for a friend at a bus stop, I felt as though I could be anyone. All the people walking around me, didn't know me, wouldn't know me, and I was a complete stranger to all of them. The light and warmth from late afternoon sun enhanced the feeling of being expatriated, somewhere else, lost. A warm city smells different. I like being anonymous, ignored or met with curiosity. New. Fresh. It's a big city feeling and I rarely get it in Uppsala.
Now since I did, I felt even more - paradoxically - at home.
-
Speaking of anonymity, the thought occurred to me to start blogging anonymously. Loosen the shackles and inhibitions caused the possible reviews of employers, family, etc. Complete freedom of expression.
Completely naked.
But wearing a mask.
Now since I did, I felt even more - paradoxically - at home.
-
Speaking of anonymity, the thought occurred to me to start blogging anonymously. Loosen the shackles and inhibitions caused the possible reviews of employers, family, etc. Complete freedom of expression.
Completely naked.
But wearing a mask.
I need medication
Oh, yes. I am still alive.
But it's summer now, I've been moving around and also my router at home broke down so I am reduced to sneaky workstation surfing.
I have been thinking about writing for a while. I feel some sort of obligation to provide my handful of reading friends with info. But at the same time, I just had some sort of realisation of the annoying sides of blogging. Feeling the pressure to write. Meeting so many experiences with the attitude "I have to remember how to word this" or "cant I blog about this? Is it too boring an experience? Too personal?", etc. Some blogs I look over seem too ambitious, and some are to much of a showcase of personal exploits. I dunno.
But at the end of the day, I like to write and have a need to practice and vent. What the end result may be, we'll see.
-
Summer is rushing past. It's warm and beautiful and I feel (as usual) that I am not managing to enjoy it as much as possible. I am not optimised.
My two weeks of vacation ended three days ago. During that fortnight I travelled 3600km, saw lots of bands, elks, friends, an completely failed to relax. I would've liked the opportunity to get bored, understimulated, etc.
I went to the musicfestival in Arvika, where I saw The Knife, Tiger Lou, Kaizers Orchestra, Midaircondo, Sophie Rimheden, Teddybears Sthlm, Firefox AK, Suburban Kids..., Thåström, Franz Ferdinand, a bunch of Synth that I didnt really get and probably a few guys I forgot to mention.
Tiger Lou and the Knife ruled. Midaircondo was epic. Kaizers were great. The rest - eeh.
Back in _Norrland I went for a biketrip with some friends. We did an all day tour of the High Coast Albion of Nordingrå. Great company, great food, and a phenomenal feeling of endorfin-fuelled happiness. Shame it didn't last longer.
Now that I am back I am overcome with a dull stress and a restless loneliness. I have that old familiar feeling of being pushed ahead through time, as though tied to the front of a runaway train. It is a complete loss of control over my own destiny, and usually results in desperate measures such as sleeping in even though I don't enjoy it, drinking, loss of apetite; basically no energy.
Yesterday I went around town and to a movie with AZ. We saw "Le temps qui reste" which was beautiful and sad and didn't have a message. That is a good thing about a movie, in case you wondered. No messages. No morals. No Hollywood.
I'll be back in a while with more about nothing. Now I will go home. And then to the Girl to watch a movie.
I hope you are ok.
But it's summer now, I've been moving around and also my router at home broke down so I am reduced to sneaky workstation surfing.
I have been thinking about writing for a while. I feel some sort of obligation to provide my handful of reading friends with info. But at the same time, I just had some sort of realisation of the annoying sides of blogging. Feeling the pressure to write. Meeting so many experiences with the attitude "I have to remember how to word this" or "cant I blog about this? Is it too boring an experience? Too personal?", etc. Some blogs I look over seem too ambitious, and some are to much of a showcase of personal exploits. I dunno.
But at the end of the day, I like to write and have a need to practice and vent. What the end result may be, we'll see.
-
Summer is rushing past. It's warm and beautiful and I feel (as usual) that I am not managing to enjoy it as much as possible. I am not optimised.
My two weeks of vacation ended three days ago. During that fortnight I travelled 3600km, saw lots of bands, elks, friends, an completely failed to relax. I would've liked the opportunity to get bored, understimulated, etc.
I went to the musicfestival in Arvika, where I saw The Knife, Tiger Lou, Kaizers Orchestra, Midaircondo, Sophie Rimheden, Teddybears Sthlm, Firefox AK, Suburban Kids..., Thåström, Franz Ferdinand, a bunch of Synth that I didnt really get and probably a few guys I forgot to mention.
Tiger Lou and the Knife ruled. Midaircondo was epic. Kaizers were great. The rest - eeh.
Back in _Norrland I went for a biketrip with some friends. We did an all day tour of the High Coast Albion of Nordingrå. Great company, great food, and a phenomenal feeling of endorfin-fuelled happiness. Shame it didn't last longer.
Now that I am back I am overcome with a dull stress and a restless loneliness. I have that old familiar feeling of being pushed ahead through time, as though tied to the front of a runaway train. It is a complete loss of control over my own destiny, and usually results in desperate measures such as sleeping in even though I don't enjoy it, drinking, loss of apetite; basically no energy.
Yesterday I went around town and to a movie with AZ. We saw "Le temps qui reste" which was beautiful and sad and didn't have a message. That is a good thing about a movie, in case you wondered. No messages. No morals. No Hollywood.
I'll be back in a while with more about nothing. Now I will go home. And then to the Girl to watch a movie.
I hope you are ok.
Maybe?
Firefox AK (se) >>
Franz Ferdinand (uk) >>
Hello Saferide (se) >>
Jenny Wilson (se) >>
Juno Reactor (uk) >>
Kaizers Orchestra (no) >>
Laleh (se) >>
Midaircondo (se) >>
Sophie Rimheden (se) >>
Teddybears STHLM (se) >>
The Knife (se) >>
Tiger Lou (se) >>
Franz Ferdinand (uk) >>
Hello Saferide (se) >>
Jenny Wilson (se) >>
Juno Reactor (uk) >>
Kaizers Orchestra (no) >>
Laleh (se) >>
Midaircondo (se) >>
Sophie Rimheden (se) >>
Teddybears STHLM (se) >>
The Knife (se) >>
Tiger Lou (se) >>
Who writes these days?
Weather's to great to do anything work-related. But I have to. At least the weekend was as lazy as summer should be.
I brought my juggling balls to work, thinking they would offer a mental break now and then.
Regina sings:
I brought my juggling balls to work, thinking they would offer a mental break now and then.
Regina sings:
"he was perfect except for the fact that he was an engineer "Now to this first long day of this last long week before I _______ break ______free
This is Radio Freedom
Standing in the shadows at the end of my bed
In a clear and intense dream last night my cold was diagnosed as a terminal illness. Without any newfound wisdom or clarity, I began living out the last days of my life feeling empty and finally proven right in my prophecies that I could not possibly deserve all this. I remember wearing a bath robe, drinking wine out of a duralex glass.
Go go go kart
There I go, in the lead
And here I come, placing first
And there I stand, tall and proud
And here I come, placing first
And there I stand, tall and proud
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