A crab's eye on the end of a stalk

I was just struck with an unbearable fatigue. The way you can only feel on a friday afternoon. Will my legs carry me home? Will my feet lead my way to safety? I want to give someone somethin beautiful, in a box that says "I am transporting a treasure" and on the beutiful something will be a note that says "I am a treasure". Or maybe it needs to be printed to a tshirt.
I had an vision of impulsively getting a tattoo this weekend. Just walking in to the parlor and doing it. It needs to be done soon, I am even more sure now than ever what it will be and where. Chances that I will actually go trough with it? 10%? 15%? And the weird part is that what really keeps me from doing it is the cost. I'd feel superficial and vain as fcuk for doing it, when that very sum of money could save x number of lives, free tibet, stop global warming and cure cancer. It's getting harder and harder to spend...
On a related topic I heard a radio interview the other day. It seems the swedish public are slow and reluctant on embracing the "fair trade" products that are available. The woman in the interview, who was an ex-head of one of the largest ehm, you know food store chain thingys, had the theory that the swedish people, traditionally under a solid socialist rule (don't try to pretend it's not embedded in our culture), are so used to having a governmentally controlled economic system that they ASSUME that whatever is dished out within our border has passed some form of control. Well, get wise, it hasn't.
And then there was the discussion about ecological products and how they didn't contain less poisons than the "normal" goods. It bugged the hell out of me that no one in the debate made the obvious deduction that the poisonous herbacides and pesticides that are showered over the "normal" crops then MUST be either in the ground where crops grow (seeping quietly like cancer down to the ground water, off to the seas) or in the people that harvest and grow them (i.e. the poor, exploited third world workers that are mutilated, killed and crippled so that you, yes you and me, can buy cheaper shinier friuts and veg. I got so aggravated by the piss-bag that kept saying that there was No reason to buy ecological food. Whatta dumbfuck asshole shit for brains. Ahhahhaha.. I like getting a little pissed off. It doesn't happend that often cuz I usually keep this side repressed in order not to go insane from the despair of looking at the world today.
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My goodness, jesus louiseus.. Sorry bout the rant. Back all blasé and sarcastic some other day.
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I'm gonna start up a poker game, weekly or biweekly. Wanna join? I'm not even joking. Call me.

Tropical storm in a milk glass

Could someone please send me information about the Green House effect. Because I keep hearing that there is No Substantial Evidence for it's existance. And, yes, the problem is that I do believe in it, but I would like som sort of scientific evidence to jam into the mouths of those who dare contest. Because, Global Warming (which IS a fact) is not exactly proof of the Green House Effect.
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I hear that Mr Blair has, or wants to at least, pass a law that will criminalise the "justification" of terrorism. That is, it will be illegal express understanding for the terrorists. Does this seem right? Isn't often one mans terrorist another man's freedom fighter and will this not turn towards FURTHER polarisation, more missconception and missunderstanding and ... more terrorism? WTF Mr Blar? I understand it. Sometimes. So arrest me you totalitarian fuck.
Will it soon be illegal to pass judgement on the policies of ones own government perhaps? Woohhooo where are we gooOOooing?
Someone said, recently, that the only counteraction towards terrorism is working for global equality. Now that is intelligent. Of course, this was not a politician making this statement...
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For now. buck up

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me

I can't believe it's over. The culmination of so many expectations exploded last night in the cacaphonic finale of Top Model 4. I feel emptier than yesterday, lighter, but with less to long for. More satisfied. I've learned so much from Tyra, not to mention her minions, Janice Dickinson - one of the worlds first super models -, Nigel Barker - prominent fashion photographer-, Nolé Marin - noted fashion editor and stylist-, and of course Mr and Mrs Jay.

I wish I could go on but i have laundry day today. Gotta go fluff and fold.

Bye

Tiramisú

"Oh, how I hated the photo where you look scared", he thought, and then a wave of nostalgia washed over and he was distracted by the swelling of a large heart in a small rib cage

You enjoy yourself, I'm gonna go ice my balls and spit up blood

I can recommend the Wedding Crashers. Excellent comedy with great actors Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Hilarious.
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Tiddely um
Apparantly some people don't even answer to flirting text messages. That's what I hear anyway.
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I can't really recommend the Family Guy movie - The Stu Griffin story. "It was just too much fluff" to quote Darlene. OR maybe not enough fluff..
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No Im gonna go homeward bound

Fuck it. Bad day.

News says it's raining in New York

Chewbacca is my co-pilot. Ralph wiggum is my technical advisor.

Good weekend. Turmoil and relaxation in an unexpected mix. Now I'm trying to get a grip on work, but I seem to destroy considerably more than I repair and that makes me hesitant. Going home now. Need to write some suggestions for experiments by tomorrow.

"If you live in a river you must make friends with the crocodile"

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Coffee and banana breaks
That girl is taller than a short stack of cakes

As promised

New photos are up.

There's that dog again

It's becomning a habit, abuse or a second home; my mind flees to radiohead.com

care bears falling dead out of the sky.
the labour party claims it was their idea.
part of the peace process.
to educate small children in weighty matters such as
organised religion.
confused?
tori amoz.
liz hurley.
follow the yellow brick road.
renegade marxist terrorists.
don’t feel stupid.
birds falling dead out of the sky.
mother nature has her own special ways of fighting back.
---
unforgiving .
pencil sharp.
well at least.
you look the part.

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Anonymous säger:
pero el bueno es que te sientes vivo.... tienes muchas suerte en esto
PerOskar-perfect blend of technology and magic säger:
es verdad, y yo tengo un corazon como un perrito; siempre corriendo para todas partes, sentiendo, querendo, muy facil a animar
Anonymous säger:
eh eh ...un perrito

A melon collie

In a word,
Rise like the sun
Fall like a pancake
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This weekend I dunno what to do. Gotany suggestions? That require minimum effort, naturally.. I will go townbound tomorrow (.. hey wait, maybe I'll go right now..) to buy some wine I ordered and pick up two rolls of developed DIA pictures. Exciting, but anticipation tells me not to get my hopes up (as one always does with photos, dang!). Tricky bit is that I don have a projector for dia pictures (dang! again).
Maybe I'll go down capital bound in the morrow. Pride festival and a friendofafriend is having a party that I'm not invited to but welcome to nonetheless.
BArring any unforeseen mishaps and hangovers I should be able to upload my lates photos sometime this weekend. Bare with me. Bare ass with me. I'm talkin to you, Robert.
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I think I'm gonna invent a desert or drink called melon collie. That sound like a plan for my state of mind. I want to get drunk and forget. Forget what? Exactly.
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Some actual information: If you didn't know, I am currently working at the Uppsala university as a research engineer developing some new kind of solar modules (for electricity). I recently got my employment extended to the end of the year and I have some kind of semi-promise of a PhD placement in the case our group receives funding (in my tired state I first spelled it findong..) for 3-4 yrs of continued research. If not, my job here will be finished and 2006 will be yet another great unknown to wrestle with. In my mind I'm thinking New York or Scotland, although I'd really just prefer to stay here. Well, whatever. I've been rolling long enough now, and without the proverbial moss it can get pretty darned cold sometimes. I could use something to cover me, wrap me up.
I guess I'm talkin about love again, it's like that band, it's always "Everything but the girl". Tired of hoping is what's called losing faith.
It's times like these I really love my friends and I am so effing thankful that they're here, everywhere to give me love. And sugar.
----====That's right I'm talking about you. THANK YOU=====-----

Onion

Loser hiding behind winning smile

More shameless ...

...stealing

so there i was.

wanted by the state and naked and covered in shit
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little skulls. witless helpless eurokids you will learn eventually. all one big happy village complete with slaves. look after the pennies and fuk evrybody else. be constructive in your analysis. we want none of your cnspircy shit here.
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the steering wheel through the ribs. the shadows swallowing my soul. fall through a blck hole and start again. justa shell remains bleeding on the pavement. you can stuf it with straw and dreess it in bright clothes to scare the crows but they will not be impressed. i dont understand a word you say and you seem so far away, your lips are cold. your eyes are beach stones. everything washes over you like a shipwreck.
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theres a story about
a place where it rains all the time and when people decide to kill themselves they stand with their faces turned to the sky mouths open until they drown

We can't stop here! This is bat-country..

I think I'm getting the Fear

Untouchable face

Enjoying the way a song can take you back to meet someone you used to be, years ago when life was different. I get the feeling that person had something to teach me..

Think I'm goin for a walk now
I feel a little unsteady
And I don't want nobody to follow me
Except maybe you

Morning glory

That morning when you look out of the window
and just wish and wish and wish
it was raining
it isn't

But I guess this has to be dealt with anyway
without the proper dramatic backdrop

They

They all died in the fire I started

They were wrong, so we drowned

It can make or break your day

Falling in love is easy
Climbing out of it.. not so much

It's the little touches that make a future solid enough to be destroyed

I know I haven't mentioned it in so many words, but I also have a new friend. Anna. Charming young woman. And as we say in sweden, "she has her head on a shaft". It's nice to have people around that want to hang out, even if your're not really going to do anything.. Actually that's more than nice, it's the proverbial shit, the bomb.

Gotta go and sneak in some work between the coffee and banana breaks.

Stay square

PS. yesterday I met a TV weatherman

I am no pitbull

If you leave me alone, I wont go looking for killings, run around barking or chase kids upp trees. My character is more feline and I think that without applied pressure I'd just sit around, lick my balls and look down upon the scurrying humans with a smilnig incomprehension. Miao.

A thanksgiving prayer

Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.


Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and
danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin' lawmen,
feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for
Christ" stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody's allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories-- all right let's see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.
-by William Seward Burroughs

Never.Never.Land

Now I have my Roller Blades. Right here. Well not right here at woirk, but right here in Uppsala, and if I hadn't been tired and forgotten this morn I wouldve taken them here to uni. Wroom. Onward with my head-cracking lifestyle.
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I also have my now even more broken camera-tripod. Lets shed a few tears for broken plastic..
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Why? Cusz my bruther came by yesterday on his way from Övik and dropped off some stuff of mine. Unfortunately not my bass amplifier, cause then I couldve rocked anyones world.
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I also have two (2) freeze beez. Getem while theyr hot.
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Your fantasies are unlikely. But beautiful.

Now scram. C U later

Touch screen

The songs for today are definetely Best of You and Friend of a Friend, both from the new Foo Fighters Album. I also like the video to Best of you, despite it's classical music video nature it sends some tremors through me. Check it out here.

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On the topic of current events, I just have to say that there was a warm feeling spreading through me a few days ago when the IRA, apparently unprovoked, laid down their weapons and, at least officially, abandoned the armed struggle. A response came, relatively quickly, as the british started to dismantle several guard towers in Northern Ireland. In a word, there is Hope.
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When the great imperial United States of America fall, what will rise to replace them? The European Union? China? India? He who lives shall see, I guess.
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LAcking proper inspiration, these following paragraphs were stolen from Radiohead.com

maKE peace with the world taking your seat on the plane
on this last flight out of new york this evening there is a bomb
children and families first please
excuse me have i got the window seat i asked for
i have to be able to see the ground
which is C?
neatly designed hand luggage
cattle herded to slaughter they hold their bags up and inch forward

bright gay colours appear sad and grey in the pressurised cabin
the feed is reheated
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everyone says itll be okay. just don't get freaked out. but i can't get the rhythm. sit on the steps with too much caffeine and a locked jaw i can't get the fu ing rhythm. yesterday was okay, tommorrow will be okay. im okay how are you iam fine thanks how are you im okay how are you? I hoPE YOUR OKAY too.
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---

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a million and one pinpricks in the one youloVe HOPIng she ll
give up on yu so youd r e a l l y hav someone tobLame

boy
you hav got to get your house in
order

Do you love that or hate that? I love it. And if you don't get it, it probably wasn't meant for you.
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...and now even the King of Sweden has realised it's high time to start saving our planet before her adolescent behaviour sends her to a ditch somewhere, wrapped in plastic, bound and gagged by her inhabitants..

I am liking it...

Hes never been in love
But he knows just what love is
He says nevermind
And no one speaks

He thinks he drinks too much
Cause when he tells his two best friends
I think I drink too much
No one speaks

...the new Foo Fighters album that is

Drain pipe dream

Like grass and children, love can grow on rainy days as well

even now in heaven

I am somewhat in a Damien Rice state of mind over this. It's really a cocktail of sweet melancholy and a swirling wonder with just a few grains of hope dusted on top.
In another sense, and in another part of my mind, I am more so in a Difranco state of mind, where "the little plastic castle is a surprise every time". For me this plastic castle is the warm and good people that, lookin back, actually have been strewn in my path like trip wires. And it's true that if now I am not fifteen feeling some deep fear about the world and life, it is because these ten years have I have been seeing these wonderful people climb from the sea shore onto my previously desert island and setting up camp, growing crops and basking in the sun. Looking around today, it would be wrong not to call it populated.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm too cool to notice

Reflections

After she left I noticed that, in merely three hours she had emptied my apartment completely.

u.n.k.l.e.

"Life's a gun that's pointing in my face"

"Someone's found a way to break into my mind"

It's my language, and I'll do what I want with it

jag går på randen till stupet som heter Förälskelse och tittar ner. Kan inte minnas när jag var så här nära sist och det kändes så fullt av glädje att falla. om du bara kunde se henne... vi känner varandra inte så väl ännu, och "inget har hänt" som det heter i folkmun, men vi flörtar, vi flörtar, vi skämtar vi ler.. och hon är så vacker så vacker. jag kan skratta åt hur osannolikt vacker hon är och åt hur pojkar tappar fattningen i hennes närvaro. vi träffas för 4:e gången nånsin imorgon. hemma hos mig. med mat och vin (om hon dricker, vilket jag inte vet) och i den bästa av alla tänkbara världar ska jag kyssa henne. och den underbaraste detaljen av alla: hon heter...
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One day
or another
I'm gonna getchagetchagetchagetcha

Peel it...

I sure hope you visit The Onion now and then for some interesting news. I like the kitty on this weeks issue (top right).
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Am slightly impressed by the zealousness of Maja and Andreas as they comment on news and current events. But I don't feel any ambition to do so myself. Go Kidman! Go stemcells! I like it in my little bubble where my life is the important news. For now anyway.
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