Tomorrow I am going to do my best to make these guys look as good on CCD as they do in real life

A rat's nest

I had some sort of emotional breakdown this weekend, feeling like I was running on fumes. All the cognitive defences seemed to have crumbled and left me quite unprotected from all the (old) demons of self-doubt and melancholy. It was a terrifying and sobering experience which reminded me of how things used to be. Before, years ago now, this wouldn't have such an unusual experience, but now what I took away from it was just the realisation of all the water that's passed since I was in this place. Apparently I am more stable now than I was then. But just as apparently, no matter how many miles of asphalt you cross, it's hard to escape yourself.

So what does one do? Well, nothing really. Least not in my case. It is just a matter of letting it wash over you and then get back on your feet as the wave rolls back into that vast indifferent ocean. I'm sure various medicaments could counteract the feeling, but I fear those much more than I fear the depression. What you should not do though, is grab hold of anything you encounter inside that darkness and carry it with you as day breaks. Nightmares should be allowed to fade.

caught in own mess

holy cow

Thanks to a friend, I have some cow photos published at swedish radio website..

Music to create to

I'm trying to determine what music to listen to while working. Or rather which music to listen to which doesn't make me loose my breath and want to curl up in a ball underneath my desk, or want to stand up and shake it for that matter. I need something that is good but not too good, enjoyable but not captivating. I thinks the old geezers might do it for me, like Johnny Cash or Bob Dylan.
If I listen to the really great stuff I just sit there, staring at the computer screen and imagining that I work. Later I wake from my reverie and realize that Im not reading the article, just letting the words shower me, gathering like shredded paper on at my feat. Not much use there I tell ya. I can also recommend to dive into the african continent for some contemporary tunes.

Taken By Trees

queen street

The HDR stuff is getting away from me a bit. It's tricky. Maybe since I never bother to read any instructions and just twist and turn on the dials trying to get what I want. Uppsala by night anyway.

My blackhearted love

The concert is sold out so i have to settle for the album. (spot it). Otherwise today I am mostly listening to dark and weird stuff and trying to read articles about lasers.

Yesterday I learned of the succesful entry into this world of my nephew. Thats so cool.

Little plastic news

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Apparently, someone actually used to read me. So now I will struggle to come out of retirement. I don't fully remember what I used to write about and I think I sort of stopped since I felt I had nothing to say really. I still have that feeling a little bit, but maybe it's just me being lazy or out of practice. We'll see what happens with this..

What I can tell you though is that me and No.1 have started a photo-diary-blog-thingy, and that so far you can find it here:
Grötmyndigheten.

In the mean time I leave you with two attempts at HDR photos and one concert shot. Take care now. Ciao.

Oh, and I still am trying to get the layout the way I want it so it might change around some..