have I told you
how beautiful you are tonight
just like a movie star
Amazingly so
Before I had a chance to (haha, i had plenty chances.. but before I chose to) comment on my new living situation it changed.
Last friday I moved my ass and all of my worldly possesions to a new room in a new apartment - right downtown. I am now crammed into a slightly smaller space facing the central station.
What I was gonna say about that was the four really nice people I've moved in with. But mere moments ago two of them announced that they're moving out. It's a couple, and they're moving into the girls parents house while they are away and then.. not back here. Still shellshocked I don't know if there is any drama behind their decision, but needless to say it does not put me at ease one bit.
One upside to it however is that I know can move into her/their room.. which is bigger than the one I'm in and has...the balcony! That wont be a big shame I guess. But, I wouldn't have minded living in this room at all, and I'm sure that they were both nice people to hang with, at least that's my first impressions.
-
I had so much nice things to say, about the apartment which is big and bright and perfectly situated, and about the guys living here who are friendly, cool and fun. But now I feel hesitant and also a fair bit tired.
-
Anyhoo; if you're looking for a place to live in Uppsala, just drop me a line and I'll hook you up in this nice place.
Field Commander Cohen
"It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender"
According to the latest polls
i have the life of a Folkpartist.. i feel violated and betrayed..
(DN test)
Fp -77%
Mp -58%
M -52%
V -48%
C -38%
Kd -35%
S -26%
(DN test)
Fp -77%
Mp -58%
M -52%
V -48%
C -38%
Kd -35%
S -26%
Songlines
"Je sens sur tes levres une odeur de fievre de gosse mal nourri.
Et sous ta caresse je sens une ivresse qui m'aneantit."
-Rufus Wainwright
---
"Her heart's a menagerie
of coffee stained diaries"
-Tony Roberts
Part I - In which a part of me gets lost
Let's see for how long I'll have energy..
-
Came back last night at 1am to Uppsala after what has been a long and complex week.
1st things 1st, and where I went initially was Glasgow, to meet my friends B and I. This here to the left is them, on top of some hill in Edinburgh.
-
The first day was a saturday and we went to do some sporting to give the weekend a good start. I put away 2k in the swimming pool while the B knocked some (shuttle-)cocks around. Suitably fit for fight we then hit the town for some bean burgers at bar91.
Then we went back home, chilled with cups o tea, the backbone of brittania. Mr L was arriving during the day, and we made arrangements to meet up later. We took the car to Balfron outside of Glasgow where B was to partake in an event about a Gambian village and the projects of
exchange and development that was underway between it and a Scottish village school. B is involved in a solar project, which is going to install a small solar electric system in the village, providing artificial light, a medical refridgerator and perhaps some additional power for a computer station.
The evening was interesting and inspiring for the most part.
-
then we went back to glasgow for the traumatising experience of tumbling down the crabbit hole into B's sister bachelorette party. Six highly intoxicated young women in purple glitter wigs, dancing, shouting, drinking and generally making very little sense. They were nice though, groping aside.
we par-teed at McPhlabbs pub until and beyond closing time, the girls left earlier, but we stayde on for drinks with the barman. In retrospect i feel like the drinks may have been watered down, because I can't understand otherwise how i could still be standing.
Not letting this stop us, we went to "Cantremebere" nicht-club for dancing to the classics like MMMMmmmbop and others. During some confusion when we left, B ordered two Jack and Cokes. Realising he was the only one left inside, he determedly downed both of them and came out to join the rest of us.
-
Sunday, we slept in. Then went to Edinburgh for a daytrip, just walking around in a hazy foggy city. I was feeling weird, carsick or hungover. Coldsweating. We did the city mostly in a car and then climbed onto a hill (see photo on top). After the hill we dove into pizzas and colas as if they were life-boats. I felt saved and helped and cured. Then we went for coffee.
-
Sunday night we went to see some live jazz, but ended up at salsa-night. All beat and tired, we ended early and went to sleep.
-
Monday I got into town with B, bought a bottle of scotch and left for the airport.
-
Flight to Dublin. Arrived into rain and felt like shit. Nervous, dizzy. I found the bus to Galway and borded it. As the four hour ride neared it's end I felt better. The sun was coming out and I was listening to good music in my iAudio and I could feel quietly optimistic. Still, I couldn't get that I would soon see her.
-
I sank completely as I got off the bus in Galway. I couldn't find my bag in the luggage compartment. Well, couldn't find sounds wrong. It wasn't there. No bags where left after the other people got theirs. So I could coldly conclude that mine was gone. Some knuckle-head, sheit-for-brains, pure evil little pissant took it out of the luggage compartment somwhere during the ride. It fried my brain. Realisation of what I had in it came to me in flashing shocks, like blows to the head. My presents for Her. My glasses and contact lenses. All my clothes, my favourite clothes. My favourite shoes. My house keys. My cellphone-charger. Instead of arriving to a safe home, I found my self being pushed of the plank, panicking.
Luckily, only seconds later She arrived and could take me in her arms, a lot weaker and more vulnerable than I wanted to be. When she held me, I realised that things were already getting better. Those first minutes of panic where past, and I was moving away from them. During the following days I had to face many moments of materialistic anguish, feeling like a part of me had been cut off. Most of the practical problems were solved within 24hrs. I got new lenses, new underwear and a pair of shoes and some tshirts.
In part II i'll tell you how things went with me, the Girl and Time.
-
Came back last night at 1am to Uppsala after what has been a long and complex week.
1st things 1st, and where I went initially was Glasgow, to meet my friends B and I. This here to the left is them, on top of some hill in Edinburgh.-
The first day was a saturday and we went to do some sporting to give the weekend a good start. I put away 2k in the swimming pool while the B knocked some (shuttle-)cocks around. Suitably fit for fight we then hit the town for some bean burgers at bar91.
Then we went back home, chilled with cups o tea, the backbone of brittania. Mr L was arriving during the day, and we made arrangements to meet up later. We took the car to Balfron outside of Glasgow where B was to partake in an event about a Gambian village and the projects of
exchange and development that was underway between it and a Scottish village school. B is involved in a solar project, which is going to install a small solar electric system in the village, providing artificial light, a medical refridgerator and perhaps some additional power for a computer station.The evening was interesting and inspiring for the most part.
-
then we went back to glasgow for the traumatising experience of tumbling down the crabbit hole into B's sister bachelorette party. Six highly intoxicated young women in purple glitter wigs, dancing, shouting, drinking and generally making very little sense. They were nice though, groping aside.
we par-teed at McPhlabbs pub until and beyond closing time, the girls left earlier, but we stayde on for drinks with the barman. In retrospect i feel like the drinks may have been watered down, because I can't understand otherwise how i could still be standing.
Not letting this stop us, we went to "Cantremebere" nicht-club for dancing to the classics like MMMMmmmbop and others. During some confusion when we left, B ordered two Jack and Cokes. Realising he was the only one left inside, he determedly downed both of them and came out to join the rest of us.
-
Sunday, we slept in. Then went to Edinburgh for a daytrip, just walking around in a hazy foggy city. I was feeling weird, carsick or hungover. Coldsweating. We did the city mostly in a car and then climbed onto a hill (see photo on top). After the hill we dove into pizzas and colas as if they were life-boats. I felt saved and helped and cured. Then we went for coffee.
-
Sunday night we went to see some live jazz, but ended up at salsa-night. All beat and tired, we ended early and went to sleep.
-
Monday I got into town with B, bought a bottle of scotch and left for the airport.
-
Flight to Dublin. Arrived into rain and felt like shit. Nervous, dizzy. I found the bus to Galway and borded it. As the four hour ride neared it's end I felt better. The sun was coming out and I was listening to good music in my iAudio and I could feel quietly optimistic. Still, I couldn't get that I would soon see her.-
I sank completely as I got off the bus in Galway. I couldn't find my bag in the luggage compartment. Well, couldn't find sounds wrong. It wasn't there. No bags where left after the other people got theirs. So I could coldly conclude that mine was gone. Some knuckle-head, sheit-for-brains, pure evil little pissant took it out of the luggage compartment somwhere during the ride. It fried my brain. Realisation of what I had in it came to me in flashing shocks, like blows to the head. My presents for Her. My glasses and contact lenses. All my clothes, my favourite clothes. My favourite shoes. My house keys. My cellphone-charger. Instead of arriving to a safe home, I found my self being pushed of the plank, panicking.
Luckily, only seconds later She arrived and could take me in her arms, a lot weaker and more vulnerable than I wanted to be. When she held me, I realised that things were already getting better. Those first minutes of panic where past, and I was moving away from them. During the following days I had to face many moments of materialistic anguish, feeling like a part of me had been cut off. Most of the practical problems were solved within 24hrs. I got new lenses, new underwear and a pair of shoes and some tshirts.
In part II i'll tell you how things went with me, the Girl and Time.
Make it shorter
Hya
Just a quick word to say, hello
I'm in Ireland now, in Galway, in a sunny and warm and unexpected climate.
First night on the island, i took the bus from dublin airport and some f~cker stole my bag off the bus. I hate that person. Because he (statistically) didn't really get Anything of value, to him (except a bottle of single malt), but he robbed me of some of my absolutely favourite clothes, my glasses AND contact lenses, the gifts I brought from sweden (candy and a book) and a pretty good backpack.
A##hole
D#ckhead
So, thats that. I'm fine now, really. This will ebb and flow and perculate for a while until evaporated. I am remedying the practical chaos left in its wake by shopping new stuff in fair trade stores. I have fair shoes.
Being with the girl is heaven. I'm thinking dirty thoughts and then acting on them.
Now, I gotta go. Shop for dinner. Meet up with the sister of the girl and start cooking.
Have a good one til next time..
Just a quick word to say, hello
I'm in Ireland now, in Galway, in a sunny and warm and unexpected climate.
First night on the island, i took the bus from dublin airport and some f~cker stole my bag off the bus. I hate that person. Because he (statistically) didn't really get Anything of value, to him (except a bottle of single malt), but he robbed me of some of my absolutely favourite clothes, my glasses AND contact lenses, the gifts I brought from sweden (candy and a book) and a pretty good backpack.
A##hole
D#ckhead
So, thats that. I'm fine now, really. This will ebb and flow and perculate for a while until evaporated. I am remedying the practical chaos left in its wake by shopping new stuff in fair trade stores. I have fair shoes.
Being with the girl is heaven. I'm thinking dirty thoughts and then acting on them.
Now, I gotta go. Shop for dinner. Meet up with the sister of the girl and start cooking.
Have a good one til next time..
in other words, hold my hand
so, i'll probably go offline for about a week
tonight i'm headin out to scotland, glasgow, to meet see B and meet up with I. There i'll spend the weekend, probably pubin' a bit and maybe buyin a bottle'o'scotch or two. there'll be good times i'm sure.
then, come monday, i am goinga away home. away to ireland, to the woman i want to call home. for the first time in our history we'll get to spend 24 consecutive hours together. up that, we'll actually get to spend around 168 consecutive hours together (that is, if she doesn't get a job, or throw me out). what a scary thing.
here
two people who lived their life
squeezed in between
work
and sleep
and all the little obligations
of everyday
stealing from the account
of respectable hours
from the essence of sleep
here and there
a few moments of
quietly
falling
in
love
with the smell and touch of another person
with another person
and now
nothing to do
but all we ever wanted
how scary is that
i ask
what could be more risky
than getting what you wish for
then hitting what you head for
-
so, yeah, i am shaky
i mean, i know that i cannot know what will happend
but.. really.. mostly.. i just cannot wait to find out
-
and as i said,
prbably offline for a while
don't worry
i'll be back
and nothing will ever be the same
the one thing you can count on
ciao
tonight i'm headin out to scotland, glasgow, to meet see B and meet up with I. There i'll spend the weekend, probably pubin' a bit and maybe buyin a bottle'o'scotch or two. there'll be good times i'm sure.
then, come monday, i am goinga away home. away to ireland, to the woman i want to call home. for the first time in our history we'll get to spend 24 consecutive hours together. up that, we'll actually get to spend around 168 consecutive hours together (that is, if she doesn't get a job, or throw me out). what a scary thing.
here
two people who lived their life
squeezed in between
work
and sleep
and all the little obligations
of everyday
stealing from the account
of respectable hours
from the essence of sleep
here and there
a few moments of
quietly
falling
in
love
with the smell and touch of another person
with another person
and now
nothing to do
but all we ever wanted
how scary is that
i ask
what could be more risky
than getting what you wish for
then hitting what you head for
-
so, yeah, i am shaky
i mean, i know that i cannot know what will happend
but.. really.. mostly.. i just cannot wait to find out
-
and as i said,
prbably offline for a while
don't worry
i'll be back
and nothing will ever be the same
the one thing you can count on
ciao
Carrisa Plains
the decision to go had been taken long ago. it was one of those times when i was thinking my clearest on my feet. in mid-discussion, a dynamic dialogue like a road-trip along new roads in your home county, my answer to what i would do if she left came within a moments reflection.
- i'd have to leave. i'd go to new york.
the statement left me looking out at my future with the sense of having left childhood and innocence. i was sitting in a life-boat made of my only real dream, watching my world sink.
that was 3 years ago. she left only a year later. new york carried me around for a few years, and for a while i thought things were gonna be ok for me. but now i am standing in carrisa, with a gun in my bag, knowing that if someone picks me up and recognises me, i will most likely have to kill them.
- i'd have to leave. i'd go to new york.
the statement left me looking out at my future with the sense of having left childhood and innocence. i was sitting in a life-boat made of my only real dream, watching my world sink.
that was 3 years ago. she left only a year later. new york carried me around for a few years, and for a while i thought things were gonna be ok for me. but now i am standing in carrisa, with a gun in my bag, knowing that if someone picks me up and recognises me, i will most likely have to kill them.
A dry brain
A long dazed journey into night
-
Today is the day after one of Uppsalas biggest parties, the last of April or Valborgsmässoafton (old pagan rituals, burning fires to scare off the witches, I believe). It being so, it is also the day after I got embarrassingly drunk. Like the stupid kid in a candy store I can be around alcohol, I went to far again. Fell asleep far to early, which resulted in me and my mates spending the evening at my place, generally just sobering up and talking.
But that was yesterday. And this is today. I am having gut-wrenching anxiety about the complete idiocy of the thing. I SHOULD know better. I SHOULD've learned by now. But, nooooo. I guess it couldve been worse. The only bad things I did was dance around and talk in a stupid (Borat) voice, shout a bit, and loose my friends train-tickets (which he cleverly stored in a plastic bag containing beer bottles that may or may not have been emptied). I also picked up some useless junk in my drunken cleptomaniacal way: a comb, a bag from with the logo of a swedish magazine, Solo, written on it, and a blood alcohol level of 45 %..
so I am mortally ashamed, my soul feels like its been slapped across the cheek.
-
The day was good however. I was wellbehaved for most of it. We spent it first sitting in the Ekonomikum park, having a Max lunch (best veggie-burger) and some whine. Then we did a little loop-di-loop thing, going into town centre for a coffee and a toilet break, rounding up some of Å(friend who was here)'s friends, returning a few hours back in the park. There we sat down for about 4 hours, just chatting away with her friends, their friends, some italians walking by, someones brother, some spanish people walking by, etc. By the end of this sitting, I had reached some sort of new peak of drunkenness, unheard of before. We decided to pop back home for a pizza dinner and a change before preceeding to a party or barbecue somewhere. Most of this time is rememberd by me in flashes. Stumbling along the sidewalk. Wrapping the picnic blanket around me. By the time we'd had pizza, I went into my room for something and promtly fell asleep. My friends, with big hearts, didn't seem to mind that this state would mean (by my choice) that we wouldn't be going to any barbecue. I tried to usher them away to have fun with the other guys from the park, but the kind gentle creatures stayed on at my place. We ended up just chatting for some 4 more hours, me drinking copious amounts of water to replenish what must've been an almost empty stock.
It was a fantastic day. I met some really nice people. But I still feel soo bad for being such a sponge when it comes to alcohol..
-
Evening is upon me, and I'll just watch simpsons till I fall asleep.
Goodnight.
-
Today is the day after one of Uppsalas biggest parties, the last of April or Valborgsmässoafton (old pagan rituals, burning fires to scare off the witches, I believe). It being so, it is also the day after I got embarrassingly drunk. Like the stupid kid in a candy store I can be around alcohol, I went to far again. Fell asleep far to early, which resulted in me and my mates spending the evening at my place, generally just sobering up and talking.
But that was yesterday. And this is today. I am having gut-wrenching anxiety about the complete idiocy of the thing. I SHOULD know better. I SHOULD've learned by now. But, nooooo. I guess it couldve been worse. The only bad things I did was dance around and talk in a stupid (Borat) voice, shout a bit, and loose my friends train-tickets (which he cleverly stored in a plastic bag containing beer bottles that may or may not have been emptied). I also picked up some useless junk in my drunken cleptomaniacal way: a comb, a bag from with the logo of a swedish magazine, Solo, written on it, and a blood alcohol level of 45 %..
so I am mortally ashamed, my soul feels like its been slapped across the cheek.
-
The day was good however. I was wellbehaved for most of it. We spent it first sitting in the Ekonomikum park, having a Max lunch (best veggie-burger) and some whine. Then we did a little loop-di-loop thing, going into town centre for a coffee and a toilet break, rounding up some of Å(friend who was here)'s friends, returning a few hours back in the park. There we sat down for about 4 hours, just chatting away with her friends, their friends, some italians walking by, someones brother, some spanish people walking by, etc. By the end of this sitting, I had reached some sort of new peak of drunkenness, unheard of before. We decided to pop back home for a pizza dinner and a change before preceeding to a party or barbecue somewhere. Most of this time is rememberd by me in flashes. Stumbling along the sidewalk. Wrapping the picnic blanket around me. By the time we'd had pizza, I went into my room for something and promtly fell asleep. My friends, with big hearts, didn't seem to mind that this state would mean (by my choice) that we wouldn't be going to any barbecue. I tried to usher them away to have fun with the other guys from the park, but the kind gentle creatures stayed on at my place. We ended up just chatting for some 4 more hours, me drinking copious amounts of water to replenish what must've been an almost empty stock.
It was a fantastic day. I met some really nice people. But I still feel soo bad for being such a sponge when it comes to alcohol..
-
Evening is upon me, and I'll just watch simpsons till I fall asleep.
Goodnight.
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