I've taken some classes in polymer mechanics this week, and for this I've been commuting back and forth to Stockholm. By happenstance and luck, I have a close friend living in Södermalm and I stayed there for one night, saving one commute and nurturing one of my dearest and closest relations.
Round the corner from her house is a small place called Melinas. A big basement café, with a few chairs and tables on the sidewalk for unseasonably warm september nights as yesterday. And what can I say. 20:- for a coffee and a bun - can you beat that? And in Stockholm no less! A friendly guy took my order and seemed happy as Larry althoigh the place was almost empty. Anyhoo, I didnt have my camere, so there is no photo, but I strongly recommend a visit if you are in the neighbourhood of Skanstull in Sthlm. Especially if your a bit short on cash and still feel like an espresso (15:-) or a coffee (10:-). I stayed outside this time, but the insides looked cosy enough. The only minus I could think of was the absense of cute waitresses.
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It's when life gets you down you start seeing all the bad things. When pain steps in and shows you how it can be more than a signal, an indicator, that it can be a hypnotizing orb. A glowing sphere that pushes every thought, and every other feeling out of your head. In a sense it is also focussing. In that you can only hold on to one single thought at the time, in the space that is left next to the glowing light, and the humming tune, of physical pain. Your step changes. Your posture changes. Every person adressing you needs to get past the barrier of communication that is set by all the nerve signals that crowd around your concious, screaming for attention. Feel me. Rectify me.
Recently I experienced some of these things. I literally felt all my worries shrink, as a blinding, crippling pain washed over me and settled in my body. Compared to the immediate needs of the Body, the Mind and the Spirit are tiny little pot-bellied pigs, begging for their masters attention.
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Some Real things have happened lately. Let's get though it. But first I gotta get a glass. And some rum.
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Real thing 1.
I went to my first conference. Well, no that's not strictly true. I Actively Participated in my first conference as a Contributor. I presented my results on Damp Heat Degradation of CIGS solar cells in the 21st EUPVSEC in dresden on the 5th of september. It was a cool and eye-opening experience. I felt I got some good response and maybe some contacts from that little trip. At least I got a deck of business cards to play with.
Real thing 2.
This is - I mean I'm not sure to lable it Real, since it is a feeling, something highly subjective and internal. Like temperature. But here goes - I'm so in love. I've never felt like this for such a long time. I've had passionate butterflights across a pastel sky before, but they've only lasted enough time for me to take the strongest bat of wings as I hit some pavement of any european country. But now, I am positively flying. (And there, just this second, wings fluttered against my skin, because on this flight I not alone). I feel stronger than I have ever felt in a relationship, and still completely at the mercy of someone else. Baby, words will not ever be enough. As you said, all the pop song clichés hit me like a sermon. Or like Ani said
"sleep walking through the all-nite drug store
baptized in fluorescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that things look different now
different in so many ways
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everbody else
if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could hurt me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i'm a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
and don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy
and it's my first time for this kind of thing
i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
but you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else"
Real thing No 3
Have I told you already? Well repetition is the best path to learning. This school year I will be acting photographer for the Studen Nation of Norrland in Uppsala. That means documening the nation, it's activities and people. Going freee of charge to a bunch of nice dinners, taking picture, talking to a bunch of strangers and making friends. I am happy and anticipative.
Real thing no 4 - trivial as hell
I discovered a new alcohol. simple as it may seem, I just chanced - on some unspecified memory of an expressed preference by someone - on buying a bottle of brown rum. Aged like a whisky or cognac or anything. and I tell you, it goes down smooth. I know I'm in a dangerous area for alcohol abuse, but as I kind of like it here I will linger a little longer. Until I, or someone else, reacts on the state of things. So far, I am keeping in better shape than some people around me, and thats good enough for me.
Real Memory
"C is for cookie - that's good enough for me"
the one goes out to the Collective - Barcelona
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