Killer Songs

"Draw back the curtains and smile.. everythings..

...wow".
I'm out
on the other side. Outside there is a glistening coat of blue and gold on the world. Little white particles are whirling around, twinkling in the sunlight.
Work is fine.
I'm still a bit worried about the photo shoot on tuesday, but it'll be.. ok. It'll just have to be. If not, I think I will quit. Move on to my own stuff that doesn't need approval of anyone else.
Well, no time for shit chat, betta go down the lab and shoot some lasers.
Hasta pronto chiquitas

Sunday, moody sunday

"sitting in my glasshouse
while your ghost is sleeping down the hall
watching the little birds fly
kamikaze missions into the walls
think i'm gonna stay in today
sit on my couch and watch them fall"

Today I'm taking a day off. Well, I know it's sunday, but it's a different kind of day off. A strong feeling of being lost inside me has been turning the whole weekend sour, and now I'm just gonna let it come and do whatever. Stay in my room, watch cartoons and see if the darkness can really take me.
No, I dont know, it's far from that dramatic. I just dont feel like meeting or talking to anyone today. Don't need to have to put up a smile or a joke. At least thats how Im feeling right now. Like the glass house ani's talking about. Like there's half an inch, cool transparent barrier between me and whatever else there is.

And why ,dear blogger.com, are my sidebars at the bottom of the page today?

Little did he know..

The four worst words in the English language: We need to talk.
-
I am having one of those painful saturdays, when I'm just shuffling around. Not able to commit to anything in particular, I feel a slight stress for the time that is passing by without me taking any care of it. Should I cook something, eat something, do something? I don't know. I try to read but there is no serenety. I got a little distressed this morning when I started thinking about how I am involved in several things that I really feel end up more as a burden than as a joy or something fun.
My mind works like this in a not so funny way. I can easily get stuck in negative loops. None of the thoughts I am having now are different from this morning, I rather haven't been able to move on. And on top of it, I feel like something got unhinged with my Girl this morning because of my mood. I hope not.

Well, I'll try to perk up. Tonight we'll be having pie and salad for dinner. Probably feta-cheese and peppers for one pie, and another with a sort of tex-mex style. Maybe we'll bake bread. Watch a movie. Go to sleep.
-
Last night we went to see Stranger than fiction. It was a sweet little movie, made so much better by the actors (Ferrell, Gyllenhaal, Hoffman and Thompson). Warmly recommended.

Rogue spear

Learning

Work is becoming more stimulating lately. I sort of made that little extra effort that was needed to push things forward and now some balls are rolling, so to speak. Examples: today I spent a while learning the basics and I now have access to a Scanning Electron Microscope, which will allow me to look at really tiny things and make big conclusions (hopefully). Its really cool, anyway, when your looking at things that are smaller than a tenth of the thickness of a human hair.
And then tomorrow I will be re-aquainted, quite happily, with some organic chemistry. It's time to learn about sol-gel extraction by simple solvent reactions. Basically I will be looking at my material to see how much of it has reacted and connected to form a polymer network, and how much hasnt.

Now it's up up and away from work (as I am not working so hard it seems) and onto some workout (ooh! Core!) and then an evening of Man Things (drinking beer and being generally pessimistic, pissed off and retarded) with K.
Much luv n things

"J'ai un passé
Mais je m'en sers pas"

I have lost my voice

the one I use to write anyway. So instead, here's what Uppsala looked like tonight, to me:

Short

I had a small ambition that I's start writing more in 2007. It still remains to be seen.

Another thought I had was that it would be fun to start a cooperative blog. As in, together with someone else, and preferably with some form of subject at hand. I have no real idea on what we should write or with who. I am open for suggestions. My primary inspirations in this issue I guess would be that one of my friends writes for bloggywood.se, and other, more embarrasing co-blogs.

Now, I am finally done with a few hours of transmission measurements on zinc oxide contact layers (what you will find on many flat screens for example) and am ready to go home.

If I stopped lying I'd just disappoint you

Regarding the previous whining post and it's comment, I just thought I should underline and develop.
I've gotten a lot of positive responses, compliments and support since the introduction of my web page. In fact, those responses far outnumber any negative responses. And I am very glad for it. I wasn't really whining, actually, it was more like a reaction at the fact that the first response, that is the quickest, was a negative one. Also, it did shake me up a little at first, but since I didn't even know the guy it evaporated rapidly. The point I wanted to make with my original post was that I believe that in the internet communication channel is much easier for people to be rude to strangers, even if they would never do such a thing in real life.

And since I'm here: Thanks everybody for your very flattering comments and messages regarding my photos. Luv ya

Now I gotta works

Can you guess who?

So unimpressed but so in awe
Such a saint but such a whore
So self aware so full of shit
So indecisive so adamant

I'm contemplating thinking about thinking
It's overrated just get another drink and
Watch me come undone

They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
I pray that when I'm coming down you'll be asleep
If I ever hurt you your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son,
I come undone

The glory of feedback and the unkindness of strangers

So, on "launching"/announcing my new website I sent an email to a bunch of people, including to the mailinglist ("fotonorr") of my photo club. Seeing as the main content of my site was photographs, I thought that would be quite alright. Since I am a bit of a joker, I tweaked the actual content of the message to appear as one of many spam/bullshit emails. Just for kicks (you can read the content of the message :below:), you know.
Well, having done this turned out to star a chain reaction which resulted in my very first feedback to look like this:

Re: [fotonorr] What you need to know
From: Jesper Lundgren (email adress omitted)
Date: Saturday, 6 January, 2007 10:19:46 PM
To: Per -Oskar Westin [peroskarwestin@yahoo.co.uk]

IDIOT

I always considered that one of the objectives of art was to provoke and stir up feelings, but I hadn't realised that I would acquire that target so fast... No, but seriously, I was actually surprised to see that someone was so offended by the email (i doubt his comment was regarding my site content) as to actually send such a response. And my second reaction was that it's kind of a shame that the ones that actually take the time to respond are the ones who dislike something.
But I guess, the fault is my own for trying to get reactions out of people. So here's to you, anonymous jerk with no sense of humour or decency:
Thanks for noticing.

2006 was a lot of guitar, actually

It's high time to make a summary of 2006, musicwise. Usually, looking back at the new music and artists you've heard the last year makes you remember who was there, who passed you that cd or mp3, or what song was playing when you fooled around with that girl. To help me summarize, I have my :iTunes: playlist and my :Last.fm: statistics.

I might not be razor sharp in my assessment of chronology etc. I might even mistakenly include some music from 2005 (the memory is a funny thing, tends to mix things up and condense them together). And to be clear, I mean what I've been listening to. I don't really care when things were released.

iTunes most played (arbitrarily rearranged to suit my fancy)

:The Decemberists: - Picaresque
Is one of these records I'm really not that sure is from 2005 or 2006. But clearly I've been listening to it alot, and it stands out thanks to the characteristic voice of the singer, and the slightly slavic influences in the music.

:Kings of Convenience:

Not a new finding, but an ever present favourite.

:Tears for Fears:

It came as a total surprise when I saw them as a few of the most played songs. But then I remembered a few cds I got a hold of late last year, old TFF greats, which will explain it.

I had to scroll down a little and interpolate to get to the ones that feel new.

:Damien Rice: - 9

Damien released his second album this fall, and it soared into my top most played, effortlessly as a helium-filled baloon. Damiens album is quite raw, technically, with simple recordings and arrangements that allow his beautiful and emotional voice carry the sparse poetry of his lyrics into your head.

:Lilium: - Transmissions of all the good byes

This is really one of the pow! records of the year. Two guys from the group :16 horsepower: wrote some music and gathered with them a few eclectic musicians and singers to fuse a timeless masterpiece. Get it. Now.

:Psapp: - Tiger, my friend

Light, airy music, that I would liken to triphop, but lets not argue about that. It's eclectic. It's groovy as a hammock. And the sound is unique.

Of course :Regina Spektor: - Begin to hope

Regina takes her singing to a higher level. No, a higher plane of existance. It's gorgeous, all mixed up, and impossible not to love.

and finally :The White Birch: - Star is just a sun
which I ordered by recommendation (the recommendation was years ago..) of a friend. At first I didn't like i. Too whimpy voice. To slow and unimpressive. But then the music grew, like a slow sunrise, and settled at that point just before the first slice of solar disc peeks above the horizon. It is serene, calm, both ominous and hopeful, and hopelessly beautiful.

---

So, then I flipped to last.fm and the truth broadens. Because in the top five, along with the artists I've been listening to for years, is an englishman that I never took notice of until my girlfriend sneakily introduced him to me this year. At first I wasn't that impressed, but when I borrowed

:David Gray: - Lost songs

It just grew and grew. And now I love him, and am not surprised at the 260 plays registered at last.fm, since I know I mosly listened to him on my portable player ther real number will be a lot larger. Good lyrics. Guitar singer/songwriting with some good studio work as well. I listened to several of his albums this year but Lost songs is the most outstanding in my memory.

:Thom Yorke: - The Eraser

Long awaited debut album. Reverberating. Breathtaking. Just right.

:Midaircondo: - Shopping for images

I had the fortune to see Midaircondo while attending the Stockholm jazz celebration in march, and was stunned. Three ridiculously beautiful girls, with a laptop each, some samplers and some instruments rocked the entire house. To me, this was something so rare as something truly new, unheard of before. It was technically impressing, musically inspired, and above all (always above all) it was beautiful. Live improvisation and musical cooperation as I had never seen it, made the show totally spellbinding. I bought the cd that night (which of course can never convey the same experience as the live one, but still is good) and also had the fortune of catching them again at the Arvika Festival last summer.

Mixed in with all of this, it was the old favourites - Tom Waits, Ani Difranco, Tori Amos, Foo Fighter, Diane Cluck, Company Flow, Deltron 3030, Tiger Lou and Radiohead - that made my musical 2006.

BFF

Visit the Perry Bible Fellowship for some lovely comics...

Soon this place will be to small

Good day today. I felt a reverberating joy of approaching a life that I have only encountered by happenstance earlier. I left the door at 7:30 this morning and returned at 00'00. I revel in the ability, the state of readiness, that allows one to live out the days more or less independently of ones home. I hadn't any plans when I went to work this morning. But I did do a double take, making sure I had some of the essentials that spontaneity might require: money, condoms, mittens and a pen and pad. As it turned out on this particular day all i needed was the mittens, but still..
After work I passed by my girlfriends house, and she made me dinner. I hope I thanked her properly. While there I also got to feel like "a man" since I managed to show her some things to do with her new computer. Gosh.
Then a friend of mine had put forward the idea of whisky and helping him with his new mac. I did go there with the intention of being helpful, but me and his other friend ended up watching the original John Carpenter "Attack on Precinct 13" while my friend was left to face the endless fight with soft and hard ware on his own. I think things worked out.

Anyway, if you take something away from this rant is that I profoundly believe that autonomy on a individual level is a great source for (the sensation and appreciation of) freedom, and can be a great gateway to unexpected and lovely things. Keep your iPods close, and your VISA closer, that you may go where you choose, when you choose, and enjoy the way there.

Good night. Stay tuned. I will be trying to claw my way back to regular blogging.
Funny, no quotes this time... WoooOOOooo

Actually

New pictures are up @pixbox. Check it out here. It's from a gig last friday by some friends.

Yeah I got soul. Right by the exit. Next to the blues.

Leela James shows where the cupboard should stand. I am falling back in love with "black" music.

Somebody play on the guitar strings
Makes me think of my favorite songs
Reminds me of when I heard Aretha sing
Gladys, Tina, and Chaka Khan
Can't go back to yesterday
But can we just put the thongs away

And fall back in love with music
Nothin' but the music
Oh

Everybody knows that Marvin's gone
Still I gotta tell you what's going on
Said the music gone

Where'd the soul go?
It's all about the video
We don't sing no more
Where's the music gone?

Where'd the music go?
It's all just for the dough
It ain't soul no more
Where's the music gone?

Still hear Donny playin' them keys
Singin' one day we'll all be free
Can't even turn on my radio
Somebody hollerin' bout a bitch or a ho

Jeff

I just transcribed some lyrics off a great album, "Big Amazing Songs" by Jeff Harms. I am in love with one of his songs, and since I (to my alarm and surprise) couldn't find the lyrics online, I just had to sit down and write them down as I listened. Anyway, its a fascinating lyric. Here it is:

you said hey lets get a beer
it might be nice to go out together
what if we just stop here
it's cold and I, I need a sweater

i feel it's never clear
when to look for the change in the weather
when to smile when pull you near
does it happend today
will I, will I wait forever

you said remember on that back road
just past Windermere [?]
the heat was stuck on
we sweat through the leather

you had a map and I was trying to steer
we were laughing and having the greatest time ever
we lost control and we hit a deer
the car jumped and the axel was severed

you say you're clairvoyant
you wanna be clear
and you just
can't see us together

in that small moment so full of fear
just a few seconds lasted forever
my head was ringing there was blood in my ear
and police sirens and a man with a lever

your eyes cut through me
like those steel cutting shears
you said not to leave you
I promised I'd never

we have our differences
but they wont interfere
you're so beauitiful
and you said once I'm clever

I'm the one boy who doesn't leer
at the scar that slices across your shoulder
you used to dream of us and the life, the children we would reer
me and a house and a church and whatever

you say you've grown a lot since then
you feel wiser and freer
you said you don't wanna leave
you just stared at the river

you said hey let's get a beer
it might be nice to go out together
what if we just stop here
it's cold and I need a sweater

i feel it's never clear
when to look for the change in the weather
when to smile when to pull you near
does it happend today
will I wait forever

I keep trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour

For all of you who are fans of Alain Chabat, I recommend you warmly to go see the film "The Science of Sleep" by Michel Gondry. He does a formidable supporting role, being a complete ass, and a very funny one as well. He speaks surprisingly good english. And it was an interesting film for other reasons. Charming, funny, and beautifully different.

And for the Fighter, I quote Ani,

"So many sheep
I quit counting
Sleepless and embarrassed
'Bout the way that I feel
Trying to make mole hills out of mountains
Building base camp
At the bottom
Of a really Big Deal"

Ninja fun

"Have I stolen the hearts of a few lovely ladies? Guilty! Unfortunately I was not able to give them back to them before they bled to death."

What

"What if your ambition is to get high and watch cartoons?"

I think it's a pomeranian

Official

Here's the official press release:

http://www.solibro.se/pdf/pressrelease_20061123.pdf

Good news for my homies (and my future)

Q-Cells to set up photovoltaic technology jv with Sweden's Solibro AB
(Forbes)

Uppsalaföretag i storaffär

En halv miljard kronor. Det är vad tyska Q-Cells investerar för att starta industriell produktion av Uppsalaföretaget Solibro AB:s solceller. Storaffären blev klar på torsdagen.

(Uppsala Nya Tidning)

Tyskar köper svenska solceller
2006-11-24: TT
Världens näst största tillverkare av solceller, tyska Q-Cells, investerar en halv miljard kronor för att starta industriell produktion av Uppsalaföretaget Solibro AB:s solceller.
(Di.se, DN.se)

Buy junk, sell antiques

- Spotted the line on a book cover "The art of looking sideways -

Tonight I am getting on a plane for Helsinki, Finland. I am to participate in a seminar on PV encapsulation (basically my field of work) tomorrow, and then fly right back home. I feel so businesslike, so adult. I think the seminar will be really interesting, and I've never been in Helsinki, so I hope I get to wander around some tonight and tomorrow before my flight.

Drunk on sleep

I keep listening over and over to the same songs.

I know if I should live one hundred years
I'ld never see another face like yours
On stranger seas or brighter shores
Cos I know
That my love is real

Check out davidgray.com.

www.banksy.co.uk

(Although the site seemed to have some server issues just now)

Will you be my dance partner?

This weekend I went to a ball, yeah a proper one with ballroom dancing and all that jazz. Of course, I'm a lot to shy and don't feel comfortable at all on such a dance floor, so I spent my time chatting and drinking. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. First of all, the Ball was the Norrland Nation Autumn Feast, held traditionally every year, and I was invited in my capacity of Nation Photographer. Basically, there was a long dinner (4-5 hrs) including various speeches, entertainments and singing. No doucht about it, the food was great, the wine was good, and the entertainment was for the most part excellent. Since I consider myself somewhat of a shy person, these kinds of events always fill me with a little dread. Walking around a room, with a bunch of semi-strangers, people that I may recognise, and that recognise me, but whom I feel no kinship with, no confidence in, no love for. Thankfully, I could spend some of my time running around with my camera and feeling that I had a great excuse not to talk to strangers. And then of course, I eventually loosen up and stumble into conversation with people. Met some nice Fins, and we spoke about the importance of Quality, and Experience, things that I feel might be underrated more and more these days. Then I chatted with a true Norrlänning (in spite of the nation title, not all members are from the Motherland up north) instead of dancing (see above, dancing scares me), which was nice. Harcore students stay on to the second dinner, which starts at 2:00 am, with a somewhat less pretentious menu; Pytt i Panna, which is a swedish dish consisting of diced onions, potatoes, sausage, and some other veg like perhaps carrots; anyway all diced and fried together. Sometimes served with a fried egg on top. However, I am not hardcore anymore, so I walked home, escorting a lady on my way (trying to be the gentleman I want to be).
Hmm. I guess I'll post a link when the pictures have been uploaded.
Cha!

The animals were gone

The new Damien Rice album may be slightly uneven. But at the same time, it is partially demonic in its ability to pierce my heart when I listen. For some wonderful reason Damien has chosen to spend quite some time in front of the piano, and many of the songs are more piano-based than guitar based. The album is more introspective, more sad in some places than "O", and more a solo-album than "O", where the band played a great part in the sound of the recording. On "9", mr Rice plays several of the songs completely solo, and this simplicity and rawness makes it all the more worthwhile in the current musical climate. An example is Elephant, where the album version seems even more stripped down than some of the live recordings I've come across. The listener is left with only a guitar and Damiens voice to lean on. Another lovely little detail is that the first song on the album starts with Lisa singing. Even though her presence is not very pronounced on the album as a whole. And last but not least, the lyrics are fresh, Damien finds some new metaphores that have not been written in neon just yet, and writes a world of wood and woodys - of accidental songs and accidental babies.

Somehow I connect Damien to Tiger Lou. Maybe because they're both male, young, solo artists. OR maybe because they're both talanted to the point of genious, phenomenal songwriters who keep things simple and still new. I mean, their music isn't much alike.

Well. just hear it, ok?
Flash Gordon out.

A long day's journey into night

"Who want to see life as it really is, if it can be avoided?"

Beatifully sparse decor. Good acting. Some humor, lots of darkness.