If you're feeling in control, you're not dating enough people.
I went out last night, and I guess I was kind of hoping to see this girl from a party a few weeks ago. She had said she would be there this night, and so I carried that little hope in the lining of my coat. Happily I observed the following
1. She was there
2. She still seemed nice
3. She was seated across from me during dinner
4. She was .. flirting, wasn't she?
5. Wait.. is she flirting with me, the guy to her right, or the girl to her left?..
6. The girl next to me is a psychotic, moody, €%&"!
7. She really is showing interest
8. She comes and sits right next to me
9. We talk all night, people point and smile
10. Friend call us over, luring the both of us into a cleverly set trap made from mistle toe
11. We comply, after all it is tradition
12. We comply some more, in a very untraditional like way
13. We keep talking all night
14. Everyone goes to the afterpary
15. We talk in a corner
16. Everybody start to leave and we are the last to realise the party is over and we are being gently kicked out by the hostess
So, that's all good and fine. Great even. Yet again, it seems my fantasies solidify before my eyes. Dangerously though, as the isolatedness of a fantasy is a prerequisite for its exquisiteness. Now, suddenly real, the consequences are coming crashing down around this fantasy and life is complicated further. Outside it's 10 below and no one can survive for long.
But I realise, my complaints are bullshit in a way. My diamond shoes are too tight, my wallet's too big for my $50's... and so on.
I am glad I met this girl, that I had this night to feel good, really good. What I've done to deserve all this I cannot say, but then again, somewhere down the road, the gifts often seem to turn to puzzles, problems, pitfalls.
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