More shameless ...

...stealing

so there i was.

wanted by the state and naked and covered in shit
---
little skulls. witless helpless eurokids you will learn eventually. all one big happy village complete with slaves. look after the pennies and fuk evrybody else. be constructive in your analysis. we want none of your cnspircy shit here.
---
the steering wheel through the ribs. the shadows swallowing my soul. fall through a blck hole and start again. justa shell remains bleeding on the pavement. you can stuf it with straw and dreess it in bright clothes to scare the crows but they will not be impressed. i dont understand a word you say and you seem so far away, your lips are cold. your eyes are beach stones. everything washes over you like a shipwreck.
---
theres a story about
a place where it rains all the time and when people decide to kill themselves they stand with their faces turned to the sky mouths open until they drown

We can't stop here! This is bat-country..

I think I'm getting the Fear

Untouchable face

Enjoying the way a song can take you back to meet someone you used to be, years ago when life was different. I get the feeling that person had something to teach me..

Think I'm goin for a walk now
I feel a little unsteady
And I don't want nobody to follow me
Except maybe you

Morning glory

That morning when you look out of the window
and just wish and wish and wish
it was raining
it isn't

But I guess this has to be dealt with anyway
without the proper dramatic backdrop

They

They all died in the fire I started

They were wrong, so we drowned

It can make or break your day

Falling in love is easy
Climbing out of it.. not so much

It's the little touches that make a future solid enough to be destroyed

I know I haven't mentioned it in so many words, but I also have a new friend. Anna. Charming young woman. And as we say in sweden, "she has her head on a shaft". It's nice to have people around that want to hang out, even if your're not really going to do anything.. Actually that's more than nice, it's the proverbial shit, the bomb.

Gotta go and sneak in some work between the coffee and banana breaks.

Stay square

PS. yesterday I met a TV weatherman

I am no pitbull

If you leave me alone, I wont go looking for killings, run around barking or chase kids upp trees. My character is more feline and I think that without applied pressure I'd just sit around, lick my balls and look down upon the scurrying humans with a smilnig incomprehension. Miao.

A thanksgiving prayer

Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.


Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and
danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin' lawmen,
feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for
Christ" stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody's allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories-- all right let's see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.
-by William Seward Burroughs

Never.Never.Land

Now I have my Roller Blades. Right here. Well not right here at woirk, but right here in Uppsala, and if I hadn't been tired and forgotten this morn I wouldve taken them here to uni. Wroom. Onward with my head-cracking lifestyle.
-
I also have my now even more broken camera-tripod. Lets shed a few tears for broken plastic..
-
Why? Cusz my bruther came by yesterday on his way from Övik and dropped off some stuff of mine. Unfortunately not my bass amplifier, cause then I couldve rocked anyones world.
-
I also have two (2) freeze beez. Getem while theyr hot.
-

Your fantasies are unlikely. But beautiful.

Now scram. C U later

Touch screen

The songs for today are definetely Best of You and Friend of a Friend, both from the new Foo Fighters Album. I also like the video to Best of you, despite it's classical music video nature it sends some tremors through me. Check it out here.

-
On the topic of current events, I just have to say that there was a warm feeling spreading through me a few days ago when the IRA, apparently unprovoked, laid down their weapons and, at least officially, abandoned the armed struggle. A response came, relatively quickly, as the british started to dismantle several guard towers in Northern Ireland. In a word, there is Hope.
-
When the great imperial United States of America fall, what will rise to replace them? The European Union? China? India? He who lives shall see, I guess.
-
LAcking proper inspiration, these following paragraphs were stolen from Radiohead.com

maKE peace with the world taking your seat on the plane
on this last flight out of new york this evening there is a bomb
children and families first please
excuse me have i got the window seat i asked for
i have to be able to see the ground
which is C?
neatly designed hand luggage
cattle herded to slaughter they hold their bags up and inch forward

bright gay colours appear sad and grey in the pressurised cabin
the feed is reheated
---
everyone says itll be okay. just don't get freaked out. but i can't get the rhythm. sit on the steps with too much caffeine and a locked jaw i can't get the fu ing rhythm. yesterday was okay, tommorrow will be okay. im okay how are you iam fine thanks how are you im okay how are you? I hoPE YOUR OKAY too.
---

---

---
a million and one pinpricks in the one youloVe HOPIng she ll
give up on yu so youd r e a l l y hav someone tobLame

boy
you hav got to get your house in
order

Do you love that or hate that? I love it. And if you don't get it, it probably wasn't meant for you.
-
...and now even the King of Sweden has realised it's high time to start saving our planet before her adolescent behaviour sends her to a ditch somewhere, wrapped in plastic, bound and gagged by her inhabitants..

I am liking it...

Hes never been in love
But he knows just what love is
He says nevermind
And no one speaks

He thinks he drinks too much
Cause when he tells his two best friends
I think I drink too much
No one speaks

...the new Foo Fighters album that is

Drain pipe dream

Like grass and children, love can grow on rainy days as well

even now in heaven

I am somewhat in a Damien Rice state of mind over this. It's really a cocktail of sweet melancholy and a swirling wonder with just a few grains of hope dusted on top.
In another sense, and in another part of my mind, I am more so in a Difranco state of mind, where "the little plastic castle is a surprise every time". For me this plastic castle is the warm and good people that, lookin back, actually have been strewn in my path like trip wires. And it's true that if now I am not fifteen feeling some deep fear about the world and life, it is because these ten years have I have been seeing these wonderful people climb from the sea shore onto my previously desert island and setting up camp, growing crops and basking in the sun. Looking around today, it would be wrong not to call it populated.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm too cool to notice

Reflections

After she left I noticed that, in merely three hours she had emptied my apartment completely.

u.n.k.l.e.

"Life's a gun that's pointing in my face"

"Someone's found a way to break into my mind"

It's my language, and I'll do what I want with it

jag går på randen till stupet som heter Förälskelse och tittar ner. Kan inte minnas när jag var så här nära sist och det kändes så fullt av glädje att falla. om du bara kunde se henne... vi känner varandra inte så väl ännu, och "inget har hänt" som det heter i folkmun, men vi flörtar, vi flörtar, vi skämtar vi ler.. och hon är så vacker så vacker. jag kan skratta åt hur osannolikt vacker hon är och åt hur pojkar tappar fattningen i hennes närvaro. vi träffas för 4:e gången nånsin imorgon. hemma hos mig. med mat och vin (om hon dricker, vilket jag inte vet) och i den bästa av alla tänkbara världar ska jag kyssa henne. och den underbaraste detaljen av alla: hon heter...
-

One day
or another
I'm gonna getchagetchagetchagetcha

Peel it...

I sure hope you visit The Onion now and then for some interesting news. I like the kitty on this weeks issue (top right).
-
Am slightly impressed by the zealousness of Maja and Andreas as they comment on news and current events. But I don't feel any ambition to do so myself. Go Kidman! Go stemcells! I like it in my little bubble where my life is the important news. For now anyway.
-

The Subhumans

HErewego

Paddle
The first weekend of my vacation I spent with my two great friends Karin and Erik. We went for a two-night paddle in the Archipelago of Örnsköldsvik, my hometown. It was a cool, new experience and not at all as exhausting as I had imagined. Photos will be added to fotogalleriet.se as soon as those useless bastards get a grip on their server which seems to be out of joint.
Well, I guess already during these few days, the themes for my vacation were establishd to be: Improvisation, Beauty, Spontanaiety (it's not a friggin spelling bee) . Out there on the high seas we ate great food, drank some wine, talked about days past and ran through the meadows. Or something to that effect.
Memorable moments were the local history lesson by the Fish smoker, the smoked fish, the clear lake at the hill, the wind that grew from nothing to something in 2 min, the dangerous passage outside of Trysunda Island, the fabulousness that it is floating on water, and of course the fabulousness that is Miss and Mr D.

Noreg
Driving to norway, driving around in norway and driving back was very cool. Again the Beauty was our principal excuse for going but I think the true motivation was a genuine search for freedom and unfettered movement. Being entirely and truly on wings and without a responsability in the world. We did what we wanted, went when we felt like it, to where our desire suggested, at the pace our legs (and the Volvo) could carry us. We saw great things, huge mountains, wild rivers eating away at the mountains, crumbled mountains, undead, heard tales of rabid Lapps, saw The Beautiful biker girl with her city camoflage and later with a scraped up face (caused not by malice nor motorbike but by alcoholic euphoria), listened to folk music from the north of sweden, and drank ridiculous amounts of coffee while eating and sleeping only what was absolutely necessary and without considering such tediuos thoughts as routine and normality.
It was, in a word, undescribable.
Also, again, with the photos and the server down and the AiAi aEueeiu!

-
I am stocking up a pretty hefty bar at home. Ridiculous amounts of alcohol. Likey!
-
Tomorrows another hell day at work I imagine and then going out for food and hard drink.
-
This just doesn't translate:
'Jag har flingsalt, men är ändå inte riktigt lycklig'
-

Get down on your knees and tell me you love me

Cure for depression: Shopping. And alcohol.

Today the broken machine I am working with at Uni broke down even more. Every time I think we got it it just slides a little further down that gravel hillside toward a scary drop. I am hoping for a delivery that will allow me to fix another broken machine today, but it's seems late and there's no sight of it.
So understand me when I went to the Systembolaget and bought myself four shiny, deep red presents from italy. Now I can dream of enjoying them as a change from enjoying those eyes that sparkle.
---
I've never met someone
so funny
so beautiful
---
Elephants are elegant

Funcrusher Plus

Lemme just start this day by saying "WOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I GOT YOUALL IN CHECK!"

It's like discovering gold, or perhaps like inventing music, every time you get your nose stuck in that someone's hair.

Forget about the whole text message statement.
--
I havent' the time to do the BIG information that i relly want (vacation, paddling in Övik, roadtrip to norway) but I swea I'll try to do it soon.

Cheers Darlin'

And as if I wasn't stressed out enough by being back at work - does Isolde always have to keep Tristan climbing up the walls by not sending a text message? I am about to dream too much about this. Reality check, please (with the hand gesture).

I just realised...

that I have no ambitions whatsoever when it comes to effort, but very high ambitions when it comes to results. Quite a pickle to be in, since not everything is as easy to breeze through as an engineering degree.

If you are looking to employ me, please disregard this post.

Glasgow kisses and near misses

You can sit there and think it is too good to be true, or you can lean over and just kiss her.
-
The anatomy of restlessness
-
I can't really be more vague. I CAN be more concrete. I was on my first date. In what seems like forEVER. Some things just seem to come to those who wait around and get more and more bitter and disillusioned.
-

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you

Can't take my eyes off of you

Until I find
Somebody new

-
Well we can't sit around here all day on our elbows
-
An elbow! Right here!
-
Chao. Take it. Easy.

What she said

About London. I agree with this. Is it in swedish? I can't remeber. Im afraid so.

Bliss like this

I couldn't play cool if I had the script
--
All the trains and boats and planes to Norrland were full today, so I am leaving early in the morrow. Flying to Övik. Then I have to pass quickly at my house, start the washing mashine for my clothes that I will bring to Norway and then it's off to rent kayaks. We (me and 2 Goodfriends) will go on a 3day2night trip out into the blue and red archipelago of Örnskölsvik and Höga Kusten. Living in tents and maybe abandoned barns, eating from a camping stove, drinking some wine. Never leave home without it is what I say.
On monday we're returning the kayaks and I will most likely leave with good friend no3 for the long drive north towards Norway, the polar circle, light that never stops, water, fishing, adventure and freedom. There no I in team, but theres no I in freedom either.
We will also visit good friend no4 in Sörreisa and go deep sea fishing. Should be good and fresh.
Will there be whales or women? I don't know. My experience in either case is too limited to make any predictions of the sort. Hoping for whales though. I heard they can make you feel pretty cool.
-
If you were with me around the time I was in barcelona you will have been told this before, but I am in Rediscovery country and look what I found: A norwegian group called The White Birch. Check out the song Satellite and listen to the drums. Wow. I am hoping to be able to find a CD in norway, since it seems hard here.
Another norwedian musical highlight is the faboulous Kaizers Orkester. To break of from all this contemporary and boring shit, something unique and in norwegian to boot.
-
Well, better start working.
-

"so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free"

Robomantic

This is not a track, it's a movement

When you start thinking you are a state you definetely are a state

-

I am looking for the holes
The holes in your jeans
Because I want to know
Are the worn out in the seat
Or are they warn out in the knees?

My head has never hurt so sweet
My head has never felt so light

I can't help smile at the feeling
That this is the last time
This is the last time

I'll ever fall in love

I am not in love, I am in disbelief

Just so you know.

Lights are blinding my eyes

A good sign you've had a good night is that the hangover headache gives you a feeling of nostalgic pleasure.

I had some great wine last night. A little too light maybe but precious.

I never think I've tried to steal so many glances at a girl as last night. The feeling is that of verification. Does this woodland beauty really sit across from me. Is this really possible. Can this savior be for real.
---
I love all of you. So much.

Why do fools fall into lakes?

Some things can't be left unsaid. Tonight I met the most beautiful girl I have ever joked around with. I noticed her early, who wouldn't?, I ask you - sure enough I wasn't the only one - and after a while it turned out she was the friend of a friend. Well, leave well enough alone, and keep beautiful women at arms length where they can't cause you harm or complicate things, you reply. But Ney! To my great tickling satisfaction and bottomless fear she also presented a wit to match her beauty. A tounge fast as a snake in the grass and power of imagination worthy of a great fireside storyteller.

I jest I know. But fact is, oh brother she was nice. Such a nice girl, so funny and witty and yes, undeniably beautiful. Boys stepped in her path all night trying their best drunken pick-up lines, or just stood in the looming shadows, staring at the sun.

So now, I predict the following. I will see her again (somehow, god knows how), things will be great until I actually admit some romantic motives, at which point everything turns into an awkwardness of titanical proportions. I will dream, but nothing will materialise. She will be another spectre passing through.

Did I mention her name? Of course not, this is the internet, and laws aside I wouldn't write just anything. She has the most lovely name, I fell on my ass when I heard it. H. I had never ever in my life imagined a H could look and smile like this H. My H, as she is the only H I know.

That's all I wanted to say, I think.